cbluechicken (cbluechicken) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
cbluechicken
cbluechicken
ohnotheydidnt

ONTD Original: Is he cute or is he just white?



After Chet Hanx declared Summer 2021 as "White Boy Summer". I want to prepare the gorlz on how to avoid pink diq vooodoo. What is pink diq voodoo you ask?


Pink Diq Voodoo (prounounced pink deek voo doo)
Noun

Definition: When someone is blindsided by whiteness that they assume any and every white man is cute.

Sentence: Pink diq voodoo has users thinking Adam Driver is sexy

ONTD has had it's fair share of voodoo, lets take a look back at ONTD boyfriends


Harry Styles

Harry has long been a debate on ONTD. For some, they think he looks cute in his mesh tops and fluffy boa. But for others, he seems to look like he smells like Burger King that has been left out overnight.

Pros: His album was good, it gave us some cute pop bops. He is somewhat charming for sure.

Cons: Looks unwashed, queer baiting, struggle facial hair

Conclusion: He's just white sis


Henry Cavill

Superman has long standing questionable tastes in women but lettuce not forget how he was looking in Uncle. Chile....

Pros: Thick thighs, hair chest, accent, cute dog

Cons: He certainly has a type. No charisma or personality to speak of

Conclusion: He's FINE. Don't play yourself.


Tom Hiddleston

Now, this might be the most extreme example of pink diq voodoo. Like, I'm still confused how he ended up as ONTD's boyfriend

Pros: Error

Cons: Struggle hairline, no lips, bad dance moves

Conclusion: Writing you a prescription for daily sage. He just WHITE


Chris Evans

Future politician and Captain America Chris Evans has graced our screens for quite some time. He has some stans up in here as well. Now, he definitely gives us college frat boy Sean Cody vibes which may or may not be your thing

Pros: Cute dog, nice body, somewhat ok hairline

Cons: Wants to be a politician, not much charisma, personality? Where?

Conclusion: He's cute. I said what I said


Adam Driver

Probably the most controversial of the lot. Driver has caused quite a stir on here and elsewhere. Many of the girls were shook at his somewhat fit body in HBO show GIRLS. Some of them shook when he was in Star Wars. Some of you will be PERCHED in the Gucci movie.

Pros: His acting isn't too bad, he's tall?

Cons: Chile...the handsome squidward JUMPED out.

Conclusion: He's just white and ya'll are gonna need ample sage because this is beyond ridiculous.



Ya'll stay safe out there during white boy summer


Source is me and my observations
Tags: adam driver, chris evans, harry styles, henry cavill, tom hiddleston
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