deepsbluesea (deepsbluesea) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
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Rebel Wilson Opens Up About Her Fertility Struggles

Tags: actor / actress, australian celebrities, health problems
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her update edit, aw :(
That sucks.

I honestly wish there was a non-invasive way for those who can but don't want to have kids to help those who want them but have issues conceiving. Beyond the likes of surrogacy and adoption.

I feel her. As someone who had an early period, and took a DNA test, I have a high chance of going through early menopause. I had made 2020 my year to settle down and have kids and none of that happened so I had a huge ass cry fest last night. I'm sitting here and wondering if it's because of the crying last night or my second dose of Moderna, that I have this huge ass headache.
I'm so sorry bb. Could you freeze your eggs? Honestly after the shit I went through I would recommend this to any woman who is going through what you're going through. ♥ Or any woman who plans to wait in general
If only it wasn't so expensive :/

champagnexdream

2 weeks ago

iluvpans

2 weeks ago

I've thought about it but due to having PCOS and also being obese, I have to lose weight if I want to freeze my eggs. And that right now is my goal. To lose weight to help with the PCOS, better chance to get pregnant, lowering diabetes chance (although I think I'm probably pre-diabetic thanks to the damn pandemic).

champagnexdream

2 weeks ago

iluvpans

1 week ago

I was 11 when I got my first period, is that early?

champagnexdream

2 weeks ago

weighty_ghost

2 weeks ago

That's a thing? Early period, early menopause?

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

therearewords

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

therearewords

2 weeks ago

jennanne801

2 weeks ago

paceyringwald

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

paceyringwald

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

paceyringwald

2 weeks ago

koelnnleok

2 weeks ago

paceyringwald

2 weeks ago

plaidpineapple

2 weeks ago

koelnnleok

1 week ago

eds_blue_eyes

2 weeks ago

therearewords

2 weeks ago

meow_tan

1 week ago

burnbook31

2 weeks ago

Sending you hugs and love bb! I got my period at 8 years old - so I know I'm probably going to go into premature menopause. While I've chosen not to have children, my heart aches for you <3

iluvpans

1 week ago

I didn't have a DNA test because I'm scared that your result will also be my result. I got my period at the age of 10 and both my mother and my maternal grandmother had an early menopause. My mom says that it was a psychological thing for both of them and my aunt had her period until her 50s but I'm not so sure. Oh, and I'm 36. :/ BUT I always thought of pregnancy as the latter option for having kids. My first option has always been adoption.

entrospect

2 weeks ago

At least you know? As somebody who started going through early menopause at 32-33, and finally diagnosed at 36 I wish I had known. I'm not sure I want kids anyway but it sucks having the option taken away from you (I know IVF and donor egg are an option) and I would have frozen my eggs had I known...
Also early menopause or premature ovarian insuffiency can happen at random with no explanation or family history (at least this is my case)
I wonder if she tried to thaw her eggs to conceive and none of them survived or something. Ugh. Fertility is so fragile and something we take so for granted considering how it's pounded into our heads that getting pregnant is so easy if you don't use protection.

Feel for her. Infertility fucking sucks
...anytime in my pregnancy that I felt like complaining out loud about any of the symptkms/difficulties, I couldn't help but think of all the women who would give so much to have the pain I was having. shut me right up.
Please don't feel like you're not allowed to complain! Pregnancy is tough, and because other people struggle to get there doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid or that it has to be perceived as easy for you, really.

That being said, maybe just don't complain about it super often to people who went through infertility LOL, I have a friend on her third kid who is constantly texting me about her pregnancy woes and I'm like...OK girl. Also asking me for pregnancy/baby advice like how tf should I know?
i'm still in the phase of my life where i'm actively hoping i'm not pregnant because i'm not ready for a child, but i'm also in my late twenties and beginning to think about when/if i DO want to have children. its the first time in my life i've really considered my own fertility and its a bit overwhelming. i keep thinking if there are things i should be doing NOW to make it easier for me later if i want to have kids.
You could always get an AMH blood test or an antral follicle count scan if you are interested in your ovarian reserve. The most important thing in terms of preconception care is that you track your cycle to know if it's regular and also keep an eye on any symptoms. Even things like thyroid issues and prediabetes etc. can affect your fertility
I'll be 32 this year and am starting to worry about fertility and thinking about freezing my eggs. One thing I'm hoping helps me, though I have no research proof that it does, is I took the kind of birth control where I'd only have a period every 3 months. So I'm hoping that maybe that means I still have a decent bit of eggs and, fingers crossed, healthy ones.
I just froze my eggs this year and the amount of peace I felt after was really empowering. It's never a sure thing but it's nice to have a bank of eggs at my current age, when I'm nowhere near meeting someone and conceiving in the next year or two.
Thank you for this. That's really good to hear. I think I want to try and have enough money to do that next year.

yankeesarelove

2 weeks ago

Not to be a Debbie downer, but the one egg we release a month is nothing compared to the eggs we lose just naturally, with time. I´ve been on birth control pills and barely had a period for years in my 20´s, when I started my fertility journey at 35 I have very few eggs left for my age and my ovaries are lazy assholes who barely respond to the hormones I blasted myself with.

If you can, I would at least get my hormones checked out and see where you stand :)

distant_lines

2 weeks ago

My doctor said there is some anecdotal evidence that being on hormonal birth control could extend women's fertility a bit. FWIW, I got pregnant at age 32 within two months of trying, followed by a super easy pregnancy and birth experience, so just because you're in your early 30s doesn't mean you're going to have fertility issues. Nothing wrong with looking into your options, though.

distant_lines

2 weeks ago

Unfortunately being on hormonal birth control won't change or "keep" your ovarian reserve. 32 is not old by any means though so I wouldn't worry unless you have noticed something weird about your cycles! It's best to get an ovarian reserve test if you're worried (but also make sure you've been off birth control for a few months because this can skew the results)

distant_lines

1 week ago

theactualworst

May 4 2021, 16:10:36 UTC 2 weeks ago Edited:  May 4 2021, 16:15:31 UTC

I'm glad I've never had a strong desire to have children tbh because it does take the pressure off.

I do feel bad for people who struggle with fertility but I'm fairly against IFV (especially multiple rounds) and definitely against surrogacy. It's one of those situations where I feel like "Just because science has made it possible doesn't mean we should do it."

I do feel bad for her though and I hope she can make peace with it and considers adoption.
Yeah, I do want kids but I have a pretty laissez-faire attitude about actually having children. Like, if I meet the right person during my childbearing days, then great! If not, then it wasn't meant to be. I've also always wanted to adopt so I've always seen that as an option. I know a lot of women don't have that outlook though.

theactualworst

May 4 2021, 16:23:14 UTC 2 weeks ago Edited:  May 4 2021, 16:23:41 UTC

I’m fortunate because I know I’ll always have kids in my life since my brothers all have multiple kids. I also have like a thousand cousins and they all have kids lol. I’m perfectly content to be the cool aunt who gets to have a chill life.

I also don’t have that dumb thing of “who will take care of you when you’re old??” I wouldn’t want to be a burden to my kids anyway! I’ll just go out on my own terms when I get to the point of no longer being able to care for myself.

goldenhera

2 weeks ago

Being against IVF is really shitty, and I hope you never say that out loud to a woman. You never know what a person is going through.

madamezuzu

2 weeks ago

strawberrytatoo

2 weeks ago

theactualworst

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

theactualworst

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

theactualworst

2 weeks ago

angriest_girl

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

angriest_girl

2 weeks ago

pwrpuffgrl

2 weeks ago

nomorefrostbite

2 weeks ago

strawberrytatoo

2 weeks ago

theactualworst

2 weeks ago

strawberrytatoo

2 weeks ago

bostongirl2003

1 week ago

angelgurl21

1 week ago

angelgurl21

1 week ago

angelgurl21

1 week ago

This comment was unnecessarily tactless.

theactualworst

2 weeks ago

Respectfully, "just adopt!" is a really unhelpful and naive thing to say. There really aren't a lot of children to adopt, and it's an incredibly time-consuming and often biased process.

Genuine question: why are you against IVF?

theactualworst

1 week ago

angelgurl21

1 week ago

Aww 😢

Not sure how to approach this... reminded me of my close relatives went thru that for like several years as revealed to me a long time ago. It was surprising to hear that from them and it was a very tender, tearful moment. I’m not well informed but they ultimately decided to take IVF; their kid is about 1 or 2 years old now and they are having another child otw this summer. They said they HAD to do IVF again since they wanted a second child. I cannot imagine such everything that they’ve went thru this especially the struggles from that point. Like I had no idea it was an possible option for them to get the IVF. No idea how much it costs them so I’m 😳. And yes they STAN Disneyland and have full accesses. I know they’d go there with their babies in the stroller...
I'm 32 going to be 33 in December and so far kids hasn't been on my to do list. However, like I told my late Father once it is my CHOICE of not wanting to have kids compared to having that choice taken away from me. If I ever found out that I couldn't have kids I know I'd be sad since that option went away.

Sorry if this comment sounds weird.

Poor Rebel.
No, I get it.

I’ve always said I didn’t want kids but right now I’m going through a (possible - I find out today) reoccurrence of my cancer and my hemotologist is discussing possible next steps, which includes a stem cell transplant.

I possibly have 2 weeks to decide what I’m going to do. Do I invest the money to freeze my eggs without really knowing if I’m going to use them?

I thought I had time and it sucks knowing I don’t.
I'm so sorry to hear this :(. My friend got diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma a year and a half ago. Just before she started chemo she was adamant she never wanted kids as she wasn't really the maternal type. Unfortunately now the choice has been taken away from her and although the cancer is gone (touch wood!) she has done a complete 180 re:kids and is now looking at donor egg options. It's such a shame it costs so much to egg freeze just to have the OPTION of using them later - I wonder if there are any charities that could support you or whether you'd be willing to set up a GoFundMe?
I always wanted to be a mom but it never happened and now it's too late. I cry about it every now and then but then other times I'm like maybe it was for the best.

Hearing stories about parents abusing/abandoning their children hit me extra hard bc I can't help but think about me and all the people out there that would have loved to take their child from them and given them the best life.

Same. I had so many family plans and expectations when I was younger, and then it just didn't happen. Hugs bb!
Thank you! Much love and light to you too
Just here to comment that trying to start a family is frightening. There's no real way to know how much "time" you have until you make the decision to start trying. There are tests you can run, but with the state of healthcare in the US, it's usually all out of pocket costs until you've been trying for a year, under the age of 35.
I think although infertility is becoming more and more common, there is still a lot of fear mongering. Yes, it would be amazing if every woman could have a free hormone test in her 20s to check her ovarian reserve and how much time you had left - but those tests are never a guarantee. Your rate of ovarian reserve decline could still be faster or slower than average which means you could miss the boat or rush and get pregnant before you are ready. I think the most important thing is that people should stop any hormonal birth control at least 6 months before potentially wanting a child. And after that, carefully track your menstrual cycles to see if they are regular and also go to their doctor if they have any symptoms (even non gynae related ones like fatigue). If your periods are regular and you don't have any underlying conditions, you are most likely fine and no fertility tests are necessary!
When I went off bc, everything went back to normal immediately after. At least my cycles are normal now (avg 27 days) because they definitely weren't before.
That is a worry of mine as well. I'm currently going through health related troubles that might affect my fertility but there's no way of knowing until it's done. I do get an injection every month to try and protect my ovaries but still... also, there's no partner in sight and it's actually the cause of a lot of anxiety for me. I'm already 35 and I feel like time is running out :(
I have so many women in my life who are dealing with fertility issues. One of my best friends just had her second miscarriage in a year, another close friend found that none of the eggs she wanted to implant were viable and my niece had a miscarriage last year and is looking into using a sperm donor now.

It's so sad seeing them all go through this and I'm just trying to be as supportive as I can.
I'm so far off from having kids but I have started to think about if it is something I want and when I might want to go for it.

I honestly hadn't thought about it tons until recently. I'm in my mid-20s and thinking of buying a flat with my best friend, which means we're having really honest conversations about life plans and goals. Like if one of us wants to have a baby in the next year, us buying a flat together in South London isn't really going to work out lol.

I've been on the mini-pill for YEARS and my periods have totally stopped (apart from like, the two times I got food poisoning or that time I moved house and lost my meds). I don't know if that's a good thing, bad thing, non-event when it comes to fertility tbh.
People always assume that if you're not having periods, you are preserving your egg reserve when unfortunately this isn't necessarily the case. There are lots of at-home AMH tests to check your ovarian reserve for about ~£100 if you're interested - Hertility Health, medichecks, thriva etc.!
I’ll check those out, thank you! Truly I’ve been on contraception for so long that I’m not sure what my body is going through and what it’ll be like if I ever come off it to have a baby.
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