milotic2 (milotic2) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
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ohnotheydidnt

Tess Holliday reveals eating disorder diagnosis

https://instagram.com/p/COVvFzTHbSx


The model revealed on Instagram that she is currently in recovery for anorexia nervosa.

"I'm anorexic and in recovery. I'm not ashamed to say it out loud anymore, I'm the result of a culture that celebrates thinness and equates that to worth.. I've punished my entire life and I am finally free."

Revealing she's been receiving positive comments for losing weight, and that these made her uncomfortable.



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Tags: celebrity social media, health problems, models
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i wasn’t expecting that little calf and now i forgot what i was originally going to comment but good for her for healing
This comment made me scroll back up to find the calf. It has a love heart on its head!! So cute.
I hope shes recovering well, its so hard especially when youre bigger no one takes you seriously which makes you lean even more into it bc you just want people to care for you.

Hope she recovers well. And also sending virtual hugs for everyone dealing with eating disorders.

wasnt there a GA episode about an overweight woman who was anorexic and her heart failed?

She must be getting a ton of hate online, for that I am sorry. People tend to be even meaner online

I hope she recovers and loves her self more
Yes. Yes there was. That episode struck fear into me.
yes, mer fell asleep during surgery and punctured an organ with a nail and didn't say anything and then the woman had to go back for another surgery and the organ now had a huuuuuge hole in it and mer was like my nail didn't do all that! and in the end it was that the organ was weak bc the woman had lost like 100 lbs in a short enough time to be considered anorexic but no one considered her anorexic bc she was overweight.
how do I not remember this episode??

puramierda

2 months ago

__onthebound

2 months ago

yeah_banana

2 months ago

__onthebound

2 months ago

paceyringwald

2 months ago

omg I remember this episode vividly
What's GA?

autumnheartbeat

2 months ago

stonemesilly

2 months ago

lone_concertina

2 months ago

no idea about GA but I think it was featured on ER as well. (unless it was on GA in one of those seasons when I still watched)

t_snake

2 months ago

anachan87

2 months ago

t_snake

2 months ago

anachan87

2 months ago

t_snake

2 months ago

I hope she gets better.

And yes you can be anorexic and still be fat- I went through periods of starving myself when I was young and nobody cared because I was still fat (just slightly less fat.)

Last time I lost a ton of weight was when I was super ill all the time and only ate yogurt and nuts and slept all the time. I still got compliments, even by my mother who knew I was sick. It's fucked.

Just leave people and their weight alone.
I've gone through periods of starving myself and while people would tell me to eat, some others would also compliment me for losing weight and say I was looking good.

I remember that comment the most when I was sick and physically couldn't consume much more than a banana and crackers throughout the day. It lasted for half the year. Before I finally got it treated my skin felt disgusting, I couldn't stand up without swaying, and I could actually feel myself losing strength in my legs. My body hasn't felt the same since. And that whole time I heard how I looked good and someone close to me was "proud of me" for losing weight.

I'll never look at this person the same again, and as I had another bout due to stress recently, I thought of their opinion on the way I look and it made me hate them all over again.

I agree, just leave people and their weight alone. It's not your business if it's not your body.
I hope she has people in her life to support her and has the best medical care and a great therapist to help her.

Also like, ok, I've lost a lot of weight in the past year or so (not via disordered eating or illness so like it's not a negative thing- just weightloss via lifestyle changes), but I feel weird when people compliment me on it? I know people mean well!! But idk. I just feel like "oh only this version of fauxkaren is good. the one that was 90 lbs heavier is not" when people say "wow you look good!" idk idk. Just makes me feel a bit weird.
Omg yes! I've tried explaining this to my mom and she wasn't getting it, she just kept saying people are being nice. They're being nice to one version of me, at the expense of the other.
Your comment is worded so well. I had noticed a coworker lost weight but didn’t know if I was gonna bring it up. She then says out loud, “I lost weight and my clothes fit better and my dresses can be worn without spanx on.” And so I said yeah, I see it!! And just felt like that was way easier to wait for the other person to initiate it.
Perfect wording.
Yeah I felt weird about it too when I lost some weight years ago and people kept commenting on what a difference it made, it just made me feel like well what were you thinking about me before then when they would gush over how much better I looked.

And then I ended up putting a lot of the weight back on over the years anyway, so feeling especially not great now about all of those ‘compliments’ on how much better I looked for the weight loss 😔

choukoumei

2 months ago

i'm the same. i've lost a ton of weight but have mostly been inside and away from people, but the first comment i got on how much weight i'd lost when i went to the dentist felt weird. like, i'm proud of myself for all the work i did to lose it so you'd think i'd appreciate the acknowledgement but it just made me feel even more insecure about people's perception of me before :/
It makes sense. It's still people determining your worth based on your size.
I’ve been fat and non fat and what pissed me off most is how much nicer random strangers were to non fat me. Retail staff, cafe staff, etc - it’s such a huge difference. Fat me gets mostly barely civil politeness or just ignored completely, non fat me gets friendly chit chat.

deseti_prsten

May 4 2021, 00:56:37 UTC 2 months ago Edited:  May 4 2021, 00:59:20 UTC

Same. I’ve lost 30lbs from just eating better and all of my friends and family are like YESSSS. And I’m constantly trying to minimize it because 1) I hate attention and 2) I know they mean well, but jfc did they hate me when I was even bigger?

I know that’s not what’s happening, but can’t help feeling that way.

ETA: I’ve been following a lot of plus-size gals who are proud of themselves (and not hateful towards skinnier girls) so I’m feeling very free and accepting of my weight for the first time ever. So, the weight loss comments just annoy me because I am OKAY with how I look regardless, but I’m getting praise for losing a measly 30lbs. Just ugh.
Out of curiosity and I don’t mean to offend you, would you prefer if people said nothing? I only ask because I’ve had friends and family lose a significant amount of weight and I usually don’t say anything but I feel I should? I dunno, to acknowledge their hard work? I try not to bring anything up unless they directly mention their weight loss or diet.

fauxkaren

2 months ago

wapiko

2 months ago

Same here. Lost 30 pounds in a year and I just don't want the compliments. It just makes me feel awful about myself and how I used to look. I could easily gain it all back like I have before and then what? I'm gross again?

poisonapple73

2 months ago

likeiused2

2 months ago

poisonapple73

2 months ago

likeiused2

2 months ago

i had a coworker who would do that (give compliments like that to people she met around) and I stopped going on breaks with her because the second said person would turn around, she would start gossiping and telling me the whole history of how overweight they were before

i mean, i personally would prefer (and I try to do this when I see people again for the first time in years) asking how are they doing and maybe later throw in a comment as in I'm glad to see you are doing fine rather than start with OMG YOU LOOK SO GOOD from the get go because lbr, I have no idea where are they coming from, for all I know they could have just been fired and I told them they are great because they lost weight 6 months prior
It is a bizarre feeling b/c you wonder what they thought of you 20, 40, 60 lbs ago.

When i was at the absolute height of my ED and was like shockingly thin I would simultaneously be getting comments of concern as well as "omg you look amazing" compliments. it really fucks with your head.
When someone comments on my weight loss, I tell them flat out I didn't lose it in a healthy way. If that doesn't make them blink, I'll give them the uncomfortable details. They have to learn not to do this to people somehow.
People are always calling out Trisha Paytas for doing things for clocks but I really hope she’s being genuine for once.
She’s super messy and opportunistic. I wish her well if this is true and hope she’s not doing another one of her stunts. Hope her kids are okay as well since she never seemed to ever really care for them.
huh? this isn't Trisha.
Sorry made a comment and didn’t come back for hours meant that Tess does a lot of stuff for PR and attention and I hope she’s being genuine and she does heal from her issues. I didn’t properly type my comment and just kept working and living my life lol Meant people are quick to call people out for doing “stunts” like Trisha Paytas but Tess gets a free pass and shields any criticism under misogyny or fat shaming.
I’ve known people who were in her inner circle and she’s something else. I was following Tess before she launched her brand or the T-shirt scandal.
lmaooo what

somechickxoxo

2 months ago

As a 250ib anorexic, I appreciate someone talking about it publicly. Losing weight is very hard because a lot of methods require you to track food, which leads to over-fixation, or intermittent fasting, which is basically what I've done for my entire life. I swing between the extremes and it's so hard because you can't just quit food.
Do you mind talking about this a little bit? I am super ignorant on anorexia coming in different sizes and have no knowledge of it beyond a person eating very few calories and being thin.
not the op and i don't have ~knowledge, but as someone that has lost over 100 pounds in the last year through intermittent fasting (eat 8 hours of the day, fast for the other 16), counting calories and exercise, i often worry that i might have or could develop an eating disorder. i wouldn't say anorexia at all for me personally, but i often find myself irrationally overthinking having an extra cookie or something that i logically know is only like 30-60 extra calories, which is nothing in the grand scheme, because i'm already in a decent sized calorie deficit by design. or when i think about slowly upping my daily calorie count as i get closer to my goal weight, i'm irrationally thinking about how i'll have to start adding more exercise to balance it out or wondering how it'll be possible to maintain my weight if i'm eating more calories and not exercising more, etc. idk, i still eat enough daily and don't really restrict myself too much in terms of treats that fit into my diet, but for me, it's like once i started putting so much thought into what i'm eating, it's hard to stop or imaging myself getting to a place i can imagine just eating without tracking again?
Maintenance Phase (a podcast) did a great episode recently on atypical anorexia which may answer some questions you have.
No problem! It's been a journey. TW: Eating Disorders, alcoholism, abuse

I usually refer to myself as having disordered eating because my experience is on both ends of the spectrum. When I was in high school I became anorexic, with it really getting out of hand after I was in a serious car accident fall of junior year. At prom that year you could see the bones in the front of my chest and I was still 120lbs. My upper body was skin and bone but my ass was still a size 12. I lived on a cookie and a coke in the morning and then drank water all day. Because of activities, it was easy to hide that I wasn't eating. My mom had a serious talk to me and snapped me out of the extreme restriction I was doing. And then I replaced food with booze in my 20s. At this point, I would eat maybe once a day but be at the bar every night.

Eventually, I married an emotionally abusive drunk who withheld affection as a form of punishment. You know what doesn't withhold affection? Food. So I started binging to fill this emotional void. I also became bulimic. When I couldn't cry anymore I'd move on to purging. One day I realized I didn't recognize the person in the mirror (I was 320 at this point) and started losing weight with WW. At one point I told him that I was coming back and he might not like that person. The more weight I lost the meaner he got. Then we separated and I continued to lose.

For the most part, I've been able to control portion sizes and stick with eating whole foods rather than packaged foods. That's what I've noticed works for my body. I was able to get down to 212 and keep that weight for 8 years. Even on my good days, I have to remind myself to eat. I constantly have to remind my husband not to rely on the anorexic to spontaneously make dinner, that he has to tell me if he's hungry because it doesn't register for me the same way.

Fall of 2019 I went on a med that had weight gain as a potential side effect. I put on 30 pounds in a few months. Since then it's been hard to lose. A lot of eating plans that people do are really, imo, socially acceptable disordered eating. The pandemic made it harder. Right now the struggle is losing these 30lbs in a reasonable manner. At 250 I'm only a size 16 and really only want to get back to a 12/14. Outside of this issue, my health is really good somehow. All my bloodwork is great and I've never had anything removed.

I have exercise-induced reflux and am usually nauseated most mornings. I also throw up easily. I've really screwed up the ability of my stomach to keep stuff in it. I also have periods of time where I lose my ability to swallow and can only eat a few bites. A lot of my diet revolves around drinking my calories because it's the easiest, most dependable way to get calories.

I don't know if this answered any questions but feel free to ask.

tegio

2 months ago

Yeah I've always been overweight and there was a period in my life where I lost a bunch of weight and got down to my lowest point since high school, but I was restricting myself to like 500 calories three times a week. Even people who knew how I was losing weight still praised me. My mom even said she admired my "dedication" to eating so little. It was fucked. Every time I would step on the scale and it wouldn't be what I wanted, I would think about what I had done wrong and how I could possibly be more restrictive. Eventually I realized I needed to stop or I was absolutely going to develop a really terrible eating disorder.

I put on a bunch of weight last year because of the pandemic and I was depressed because my mom died. I'm doing a lazy keto diet now and making sure I eat plenty of calories and get all my servings of nutrients. I like it because I don't necessarily have to track every calorie or carb, but there are enough established rules to keep from just ordering out all the time. I think I've realized that my relationship with food has always been unhealthy, and I don't think it's going to change at this point. I just need to be really aware of it and manage it all the time to avoid restricting or binging.

cleanofslate

2 months ago

whizzingfizbee

2 months ago

luvlorn

May 5 2021, 04:17:07 UTC 2 months ago Edited:  May 5 2021, 04:18:08 UTC

I am not anorexic, more of a compulsive eater but when I try to lose weight I follow a couple rules that aren't very restrictive. Mostly I try to choose "healthy fats" like olive oil over saturated or hydrogenated, try to avoid things that are mostly sugar and fat like cookies, donuts, etc and try to add as much natural foods as I can so I don't limit any fruits, veggies, bread, dressings, peanut butter, condiments, spices, sea food, dairy (although I don't like whole milk and most cheeses so that makes it easier). I try to substitute high fat snacks like chips with things like pretzels or popcorn that I make myself with olive oil and salt. I don't know if this will be helpful to you but I focus on eating as much nutrition as I can instead of restricting. I don't call myself fat. I have fat, but it is not my identity. I tell myself I want to be healthy and strong, rather than thin. I did not always see it that way but I feel it's helped me with my self image.

quixotomy

May 3 2021, 23:33:26 UTC 2 months ago Edited:  May 3 2021, 23:34:36 UTC

I had two men on two separate occasions comment on my weight ("you've lost weight, you look good!")

The reason I lost weight? My step-brother died by suicide and I was trying to deal with the grief. Food is one of my greatest pleasures in life but I barely remember eating or enjoying it during that time period.

Keep weight comments to yourself, whether someone has gained it or lost it, you don't know why and someone else's weight is none of your fucking business.
I'm so sorry that you lost your step-brother. My best to you and your healing <3
Thank you ❤️
I'm sorry about your step-brother
Having dieted most of my life, I have so many thoughts on weight loss and diet culture. I'm happy for her and hope she continues to heal, it's an amazing feeling when you actually start to feed your body what it needs.
She on a personal level is super annoying and I don’t care for her.

However, ED are so incredibly hard to treat and I wish her the best in healing.
I find diet culture absolutely unbearable at this point. It feels so out of sync but still so ubiquitous.
I hope she's doing well and has a good support system. I do wish people would not comment on others body size unless they know the person is trying to lose weight, because you never know what's going on. When I know someone is trying to lose weight and get healthier, I try to compliment them in a way that touches more on their confidence, or how physically strong they've gotten because those are about their happiness and achievements and not their weight.

With that said, I think her contribution to weight discussion and fat activist movement in general have been very toxic, it is her entire brand and it's really hard to divorce this news from that.
while my relationship with food has never been the best, I never had an eating disorder but I recently read Nikki Grahame's book on her battle against anorexia and it was SO triggering. The fact that she died recently from the illness truly makes the reading even more upsetting. EDs are awful, I truly hope all of you who suffering from one find yourselves in a better, healthier place soon.
I absolutely devoured eating disorder memoirs when I was younger and sicker but I’m probably never going to read another one again unless someone releases one that is only about their recovery phase and doesn’t include details about their past weight, specific details of a restrictive diet, etc.
Right? I understand wanting to convey how horrible the disease was by providing details but at some point it becomes a how-to guide. I know when I was really sick with bulimia and restrictive eating (never was diagnosed with anorexia but I was underweight and lost my period for over a year) I read that stuff all the time for the inadvertent “tips”
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