ONTD Original: Why Katy Perry's Witness is the Perfect Album for the Pandemic : ohnotheydidnt

ONTD Original: Why Katy Perry's Witness is the Perfect Album for the Pandemic

Are you wondering what the perfect album for the pandemic is? You probably are, since it's the title of this post.

Wonder no more: it is Witness, by Katy Perry.

A track-by-track analysis:

"Witness"

"Witness" is all about wondering whether someone will be there for you to see you and understand your pain. That is what we all were desperate for, even to this day. Choice lyrics:

We're all just looking for connection

I'm looking for someone...someone to ride this ride with me

Can I get a witness?
Will you be my witness?

"Hey Hey Hey"

This song explores the duality of human beings, particularly women. It expresses that one can be vulnerable and fragile, yet strong. Like Marilyn Monroe in a monster truck. Sample lyrics:

Hey hey hey
You think that I'm a little bay-ay-by
You think that I am fragile like a fabergé
You think that I'm cracking, but you can't break me

"Déjà Vu"

The title makes it obvious: this song is about repetitiveness that can drive you crazy, as we all experienced in lockdown. The chorus:

Every day's the same
Definition of insane
I think we're running on a loop
Déjà vu

"Roulette"

Hooking up with anyone during the pandemi lovato was like spinning a roulette wheel. Oh, hey... that's the name of this song! This thirsty af horny song is all about taking a chance (sometimes a life-or-COVID chance) on hookin' up with a stranger.

I'm uptight
Playing by the rules in this game of life
365 days on the grind
Something's stirring, I might need to unwind

Like roulette, ooh-ooh
Wanna close my eyes and roll it with you
Like roulette, ooh-ooh
Wanna lose control and forget with you

"Swish Swish"

At first, I had no idea what this song could have to do with the pandemic. But then I realized: this song is written from the perspective of Miss Rona! It is the virus struttin ha stuff as she knocks people down left and right.

Tell me I'm wrong:

So keep calm, honey, I'ma stick around
For more than a minute, get used to it
Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth
'Cause I stay winning
Lay 'em up like
Swish, swish, bish

"Mind Maze"

Did the quarantine fuck with your mind? Then you might be in a...mind maze. Like the title of this delightful 80s bop by Katy that was supposedly inspired by her dumpster-fire relationship with John Mayer and his head games.

I'm losing all direction
Slipping into quicksand...

It's a mind maze
All these head games
Caught in a cage

"Power"

In "Power," Katy snaps back at a lover who wasn't treating her right. It is the perfect empowering, fuck-you power anthem against the coronavirus.

I was fine before I met you...
I'm done with you, siphoning my power
Power

"Miss You More"

This song involves trying to convince yourself that you miss someone more than you actually love them. Just like we were all trying to convince ourselves that we miss outdoor activities, social gatherings, and shopping more than we actually loved them. 😭

Your mind plays tricks with distance
Always makes things feel so unfinished

I miss you more than I loved you
(I wonder what we could have been)

Chained To The Rhythm

After complying with strict protocol and following the same routines over and over and over, we are all indeed chained to the rhythm. The rhythm... of the pandemic!

I'm not posting these lyrics, y'all have heard it.

"Tsunami"

This is an abstract-ish horny song. You can imagine it being the mindset of someone who has COVID-19 and has not yet recovered all their cognitive function, plus has a ton of horniness pent up inside of them. If you could go inside the mind of a sex-starved COVID patient, it would sound like "Tsunami."

"Bon Appétit"

"Bon Appétit" combines all of the cooking and eating that we did in quarantine with the horniness that we all feel.

"Bigger Than Me"

The pandemic is bigger than all of us, as we all learned. (Except for some assholes who felt that they were bigger than the pandemic.) We all had to accept that we had to make sacrifices for the greater good (except for those few assholes.)

I'm kicking and screaming
'Cause it won't be easy to break all the patterns

It's something bigger than me
I can feel it beginning
Something bigger than me

"Save as Draft"

We all had to hit save on the drafts of our plans, including travel, seeing our friends, and making out with people. Just like Katy hits "save as draft" on ha texts to John Mayer 👀

So I take a deep breath
And I save as draft

"Pendulum"

A pendulum swings back and forth from one extreme to the other. So even though the world might swing bad one way, it will swing back the other eventually. That is what this upbeat, underrated, should-have-been-a-single bop is telling us. So keep that in mind for 2021: it's a pendulum.

Into Me You See

If you live with somebody, you were suddenly stuck with 'em 24/7. You definitely got to a new level of intimacy with them. Or, if you were alone, you were suddenly stuck with your thoughts 24/7 and had to get intimate with yourself. And by that I also mean intimate... with yaself.

Into me, you'll see
You got me wide open, now I'm ready
Is this intimacy?

Poll #2110054

Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All. Participants: 80

Is Witness the best album for the pandemi lovato?

View Answers

Yes

15(25.9%)

43(74.1%)

If not, which Katy album is best for the pandemic?

View Answers

Katy Hudson

3(4.8%)

One Of The Boys

2(3.2%)

Teenage Dream

44(71.0%)

Witness

9(14.5%)

Smile

4(6.5%)

Shoutout to the two or three other people who like this album.

What is YOUR choice for the best album for the pandemic?

source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source

2_on

April 8 2021, 02:15:07 UTC 3 months ago Edited: April 8 2021, 02:23:39 UTC

New comment

#justice4roulette

biosphear

April 8 2021, 02:31:39 UTC 3 months ago

agreed that song is a bop

frejasface

April 8 2021, 02:45:19 UTC 3 months ago

shoulda been a single!

3rdattemptuser

April 8 2021, 02:15:15 UTC 3 months ago

her best era period
she peaked here

sadteenager

April 8 2021, 04:01:50 UTC 3 months ago

omg r u for real? as a witness apologist, I am here for this!

April 8 2021, 04:03:06 UTC 3 months ago

yes!

I watched her 3 day Big Brother live stream and I was hooked! It was fascinating to see Katy Hudson, the person behind the machine.

3 months ago

trendsnational

April 8 2021, 02:24:13 UTC 3 months ago

I love this album!

Tsunami is that girl!

April 8 2021, 04:02:29 UTC 3 months ago

this one was a grower for me. I dismissed it at first listen but one day it came on when I was horny and high and it hit different...

April 8 2021, 12:05:35 UTC 3 months ago

but one day it came on when I was horny and high and it hit different...

EXACTLY!!!!

cbluechicken

April 8 2021, 12:40:01 UTC 3 months ago

tsuanmi is the face sitting anthem.

cocoforcourtney

April 8 2021, 18:11:20 UTC 3 months ago

I am obsessed with Tsunami -- it never gets old.

kawaiiairbender

April 8 2021, 02:24:55 UTC 3 months ago

This is the only Katy Perry album I've completly listened to. I think i liked quite a few of these songs.

I didn't listen to it at all during the pandemic

sorryeden

April 8 2021, 02:28:04 UTC 3 months ago

Her Witness Worldwide 48-hour livestream was ahead of its time and perfect for watching during the pandemic.

April 8 2021, 04:04:58 UTC 3 months ago Edited: April 8 2021, 04:05:32 UTC

queen kety STAYS ahead of the curve...

milfordacademy

April 8 2021, 02:28:52 UTC 3 months ago

Wow OP you just made swish swish really fucking dark

April 8 2021, 02:46:14 UTC 3 months ago

Miss Rona doesn't play around!

April 8 2021, 02:29:04 UTC 3 months ago

we stan an analysis of this album. this is her BEST and most COHESIVE album. The era was just so poorly managed and awful and it just drowned out the fact that it was a perfect electronic album. Deja Vu, Tsunami, Witness, Bon Appetit. WHEW. The phags were so hung up on her hair smh.

my quarantine albums have been Rare, Cape God, Sunshine Kitty

again, for the people in the back ~~stewie~~

justice for witness

April 8 2021, 02:47:05 UTC 3 months ago

yes @ Sunshine Kitty.

WHY didn't she release "Power" or "Roulette" as a single?? Her team just gave up.

djbbgoose

April 8 2021, 02:48:21 UTC 3 months ago

i've said it before but your cape god full 180 is incred

rhenna_navi

April 8 2021, 02:54:30 UTC 3 months ago

Yaaasssss

LET THEM KNOW

carazon

April 8 2021, 03:26:16 UTC 3 months ago

The singles were good I can't believe the hair was the sole reason they all flopped lmao.

April 8 2021, 04:07:09 UTC 3 months ago

ugh "Cape God" was the PERFECT album for early quarantine and "Regulars" has become one of my favorite songs of all time.

dman108

April 8 2021, 15:38:32 UTC 3 months ago

as soon as i saw this post, i thought of you

itsallnotone

April 8 2021, 02:31:36 UTC 3 months ago

Roulette truly deserved!

callonme_84

April 8 2021, 02:36:54 UTC 3 months ago

GOOD LOORD! This is terrible. Pass on everything.

Woof!

If I have to say something nice- maybe I can tolerate bone appetite

blorpz

April 8 2021, 02:41:10 UTC 3 months ago

i agree with you, while acknowledging the hard work op put into this post :)

April 8 2021, 02:44:01 UTC 3 months ago

Oh yes , bravo op, bravo! I see you.

I enjoy: thinking of you, teenage dream, dark horse, et, con calma, and on occasion, roar.

April 8 2021, 02:48:48 UTC 3 months ago

I am keeping calm and listening to "Roulette" to tune you out!

montag_heidi

April 8 2021, 03:02:35 UTC 3 months ago

yeah its a terrible album lol

roulette sounds like a mediocre 2008 lady gaga demo

April 8 2021, 03:09:34 UTC 3 months ago

this is homophobic

hellicoptajuuce

April 8 2021, 02:37:29 UTC 3 months ago

I stand by Bon Appetit being a bop, idk why people hated it.

tbh this era was a mess, visually her MVs were all over the place

April 8 2021, 02:38:53 UTC 3 months ago

It’s the only tolerable one

April 8 2021, 02:41:37 UTC 3 months ago

terrible, terrible, terrible video

but it's a bop!

juanitatequila

April 8 2021, 05:46:38 UTC 3 months ago

it was the only song i ended up liking from this album (the solo version tho, i cannot stand m*gos)

zvvl

April 8 2021, 09:48:51 UTC 3 months ago

Bon Appetit would truly be that bop if it didn’t feature M*gos

April 8 2021, 02:39:43 UTC 3 months ago

That survey above needs the option
⭕️ a few individual songs

stewie_e

April 8 2021, 02:41:05 UTC 3 months ago

Trisha Paytas: "What? Huh? Okay". pic.twitter.com/1FDJN1ZPrx
— Archivo de memes (@ArchivoDeMemes) June 18, 2019

April 8 2021, 03:09:56 UTC 3 months ago

LIE AGAIN

April 8 2021, 03:11:51 UTC 3 months ago

Tsunami > Kiss it Better

April 8 2021, 03:47:55 UTC 3 months ago

cosmic_starz

April 8 2021, 02:42:25 UTC 3 months ago Edited: April 8 2021, 02:45:16 UTC

I should not have listened to "Miss You More" for the first time just now. Been thinking about a toxic ex.. and this song got me in the feels :'(

I think the thought of wondering what you could have been with someone is toxic in and of itself and I try to avoid it.. but it's natural to go there sometimes. But living in the moment is so important. Because it's not about what you could have been.. it's what you were/are. And if that's not right here and now.. or wasn't then.. it never would have been/ will be. (usually imo)

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

lmao sorry for all the damn edits I kept fucking shit up yay sleep deprivation xD

April 8 2021, 02:53:49 UTC 3 months ago

wondering what you could have been with someone is toxic in and of itself

this. Absolutely.

Listen to "Pendulum" to cheer yourself up!

April 8 2021, 02:56:07 UTC 3 months ago

lol, just listened to "Not Like The Movies" and that helped.. but I'll check out "Pendulum" too!

genbu_no_miko24

April 8 2021, 02:51:26 UTC 3 months ago

This was a good album that got ignored.

queer_bee

April 8 2021, 02:53:08 UTC 3 months ago

Not a fan of this album, but I think this era would have been more successful had she not dyed her blonde and stayed brunette.

Or maybe the Republican soccer moms just didn’t buy her album anymore because she was one of Hillary’s biggest supporters?

I was ~shookt~ when Witness flopped tho? And Katy’s career never recovered after that. Remember how everyone in ONTD hailed her as the next queen of pop back in 2013 when she beat Gaga on the charts? Life moves in mysterious ways.

April 8 2021, 03:02:50 UTC 3 months ago

Yeah I actually think the haircut + dye job (which is her natural lol) tanked her. But I also Katy took too long with showing growth~ on her albums. Like we all use to joke about Rihanna and her being singles queens but Rihanna started showing up from Unapologetic to Anti and no one says it anymore.

I think Katy was on her way but got too comfortable or took too long.

April 8 2021, 04:11:28 UTC 3 months ago

the thing is tho I think she DID grow but just picked horrible singles. "Prism" has some pretty good tracks that sound like adult contemporary standards... "It Takes Two" has been my bop lately as I reflect on a toxic friendship but like... honestly RCA is a shitty label and pushed her to record and release shit like "This Is How We Do" (which I still love despite myself lmao).

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ONTD Original: Why Katy Perry's Witness is the Perfect Album for the Pandemic

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