djbbgoose (djbbgoose) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

ONTD Original: Juergen Teller Must Be Stopped

W Magazine has released their annual Best Performances issue, featuring photographs by Juergen Teller. It's gonna be a no from me, babe.

Who is Juergen Teller? He is a German fashion and fine art photographer who is frequently hired to shoot celebrities and models. Apparently "minimalism, beauty of imperfection, "amateur", humanizing" photography is his aesthetic. Like sure, I've been to art school, I can be pretentious sometimes, I've seen the 400 Blows, so I get it.

But this???

Steven, sweetie, I'm so sorry

Okay but first a disclaimer: He is a legit fashion photographer and hugely influential, blah blah fuckin' blah. Doesn't change fact that he's been acting up for years and I've had it, officially.

He's responsible for:


I'm a simple woman. Everyday I get up, I do my stupid little tasks, send my stupid little emails, and live my stupid little life as best I can in the midst of this pantyhose. One of my stupid little joys is looking at photos of hot people during awards season.

And this fool Juergen Teller has the audacity to do this?????

for 2020's best performances

In order, L-R: Awkwafina, Adam Sandler, Park So-dam, Florence Pugh, Chris Evans, Laura Dern

Top to Bottom: Charlize Africa, Elle Fanning

We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually.

for 2014's best performances, aka the drug den edition

In order, L-R: Greta Gerwig, Amy Adams, Oprah (??), Jonah Hill, Yakub Yillenhaal, Jennifer Lawrence

Top to Bottom: Brie Larson, Lupita N'yongo

Top to Bottom: Shailene Woodley, Chiwetel Ejiofor

It's giving me "I just got my first camera and I took it to a college party and my friends are very artsy" teas

for 2013's best performances

I have a strong memory of the ontd post when these dropped, where the comments were like "everyone looks like they're hungover" "this is sketch" "i'm uncomfortable"
In order, L-R: Ben Whishaw, Daniel Dave Lewis, Ben "I Don't Know What to Do with My Hands" Affleck, Nicole Kidman, Phillip Seymour Hoffman (may he RIP), Jack Black

Top to Bottom: Matthias Schoenaerts, Kristen Stewart

Top to Bottom: Naomi Watts, Keira Knightley

There's a weirdly sexual energy to these? Like instead of a regular degular college party you got invited to an orgy and no one told you beforehand. Idk but my skin is crawling either way

Pictured: the man who invited you

In conclusion: bruh

Tweets: 1 | 2 | 3
W Mag's Best Performances: 2020 | 2014 | 2013

if you saw this post before no you didnt❤️

also suggestion for an "awards season" tag, to collect press/pr during awards season that isn't necessarily for one specific show?
Tags: a$ap rocky, adam sandler, amy adams, asian celebrities, awkwafina, ben whishaw, black celebrities, brie larson, charlize theron, chiwetel ejiofor, chris evans, dakota / elle fanning, florence pugh, jake gyllenhaal, jennifer lawrence, jonah hill, kardashian / jenner, keira knightley, kristen stewart, laura dern, lupita nyongo, magazine covers and articles, naomi watts, nicole kidman, not today satan, ontd original, oprah, philip seymour hoffman, photo shoot, shailene woodley, steven yeun, tom cruise

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →