It's time once again for our favorite contestants in the 2020 MotherBoy pageant! This week we get some spicy dancing, some sweet banana bread, a dry pinot, and the sour taste of rejection! Let's dive in!
Mike, Liz, and Stephanie
Mike and Liz are in the local gym, shooting some hoops. We find out that Mike has had a long standing love affair with basketball. He says at the time he hated as a kid how his mom would have him running around the house doing laps for his conditioning, but she was always pushing him to do better at basketball, always willing to go out and shoot layups in the driveway with him no matter the time, and he thinks that led to him getting a college scholarship to play basketball. So he knows Liz has his best interests at heart, but he worries why she can't see that Stephanie is the one for him and makes him happy. She says he shouldn't rush into things, he's only a baby at 26 (remember this, it's important later.) Mike tells her he knows she's soured on marriage after having two failed ones (so I'm guessing she's been married 3 times, because I'm sure she's not counting Mike's dad dropping dead as a failed marriage. So think about it--that hair has been in 3 separate wedding photos like that) but he's not her. He wants to know what it is about Steph she doesn't like. She doesn't like that before he moved in with Steph, he called Liz nightly to say goodnight. Now he only kinda does that.
Liz also hates that he's started skiing because of Steph. She hates when he sends her pics and videos from the mountain, and doesn't think he should be skiing because skiing is for young people, not old farts like him (see, I told you to remember--he's just a baby when it comes to getting married, but yet a decrepit old man when it comes to skiing. A real life Benjamin Button right here on TLC!) She tells him in the end, Steph can be his number 1A, but Liz needs to be his number 1 forever and always.
Back at the apartment, Steph puts together some banana bread. She asks Mike which he would prefer as an add in--chocolate chips or blueberries (I say why not both???) He chooses chocolate chips, and Steph informs him she's going to make this bread the Steph way, not the Liz way, which means it will have some sugar. He's cool with that, but mentions they'll have to eat it up fast, before Liz comes and sees it in their kitchen. Steph decides this is the perfect opportunity to bring up her yoga discussion with their mutual friend about telling Mike how his mom makes her feel. He's not pleased that she's discussing their life with their friends, but does listen when she tells him she not only feels in constant competition with Liz, but also feels like she's changing herself into someone she's not to meet Liz's approval. He tells Steph he doesn't want that, and his mom needs to get to know her. He suggests a spa day together, cause he heard girls like that. Steph isn't thrilled about spending a day with Liz and her blowout, but is happy to hear that he doesn't want her to change. She celebrates her Steph-ness by pouring the whole bag of chocolate chips into the banana bread. That's my girl!!
We also get to meet Stephanie's sister (I guess the one of the monster engagement ring?) via a facetime call/confessional. She tells the camera the family loves Mike, and that Steph is a very confident person and she can't imagine her wanting to change to please someone. She tells Steph this fact as well, and says maybe the reason Liz isn't responding to her is because she can sense Steph being fake. No, I think it's because of unresolved spousal death/twice divorced issues, but that's me. Steph mulls her sister's advice over, she doesn't consider mine.
Matt, Kelly, Kim
Trying to make up for the Great Sleepytime Tea Robe Debacle of Valentine's 2020, Matt has decided to cook Kim a special dinner. Except he doesn't know how to cook. Which pleases Kelly as it keeps him dependent on her. She stands there ironing for support while watching him struggle with doing simple tasks like trying to bake garlic bread. I think he's cooking pasta, but at one point also looks like he's scooping out avocados to make guac maybe? What kind of Door Dash mashup is this meal? Matt and Kelly share some pinot, and Kim wanders out to praise Matt on his "cooking" skills. She doesn't get a proper cosmo glass (what? they're drinking wine, not cosmos!) for her drink because those are reserved for Matt and Kelly's special wine time. Matt and Kim start talking about meeting with the architect to begin planning the home they are building in Kelly's yard. Kelly pipes up that they need to make sure the house has a guest bedroom....for HER! Wha??? She's gonna be living like 50 feet away! Why does she need a bedroom in their house in her yard? Kim is like "Ummm....no." Kelly gives up the ruse of ironing posing as eavesdropping, and invites herself into the discussion. Except she doesn't want to discuss anything, because when Kim asks simple questions like if this will be she and Matt's house, or Kelly's house, Kelly just pushes her glass toward Matt and demands more pinot. Kelly and Kim glare at each other while Matt breaks the spaghetti up in small pieces and puts it in the pot.
Later, over bowls of spaghetti and probably still frozen garlic bread, Matt assures Kim that he knows his mom is a bit much, but he's gonna do what he can to make their lives perfect. As long as it doesn't mean standing up to Kelly, I'm guessing.
Jason, Annette, and Justina
Over in the greater Chicago area, Justina, Jason, Annette, Jason's dad (Bill? Bob? Exasperated?) and Jason's forgotten sister Paige, head over to a dance studio to brush up on their dancing skills before the wedding. Apparently this was something they did when Paige was married. The dance teacher is sassy, but not full on Bruno from DTWS. He starts them in on a rhumba, and Jason has 4 left feet. His dad isn't much better, so he comes by it naturally anyway. Finally everyone gets their hands and feet coordinated, and Jason and Justina do a sweet little dance step around the floor while everyone watches. Justina said it felt kinda magical and made her choke up a bit. Annette isn't bitter, but it's her time to shine! So while everyone is resting, she asks the teacher if he can try out her special idea for the mother son dance. She wants them to do a mother son tango! The dance teacher is a bit taken aback, telling the camera the tango is a passionate dance with a lot of close contact, not something you'd typically see a mother and son doing at a wedding, but here we are. He starts them on their forbidden dance, and it is kind of funny. "Hold me like you mean it!" Annette cries out, but the only problem is she means it.
Paige becomes my favorite sister as she makes snarky comments about Annette under her breath to Justina. "T-A-N-G-O" the dance teacher counts off the steps, as Paige counts off "D-R-A-M-A" to Justina. Paige tells the camera, "My mom has moments... She gets a glimmer of spotlight on her, and she just EXPLODES! It's all about her, and we all have to sit back and watch her in her moment." Only problem is this doesn't sit as well with Justina, who thinks the sweet moment she shared with Jason where they learn their first dance is now overshadowed by the Annette show. Justina sits once again on the sidelines, a passive observer at her own wedding planning, while Annette thinks this tango will be the iconic moment of the wedding.
Shekeb, Laila, and Emily
Whoo chile....grab Kelly's bottle of pinot, cause this is about to happen. At the birthday party of horrors that will never end, Laila is insisting now it's Emily's birthday and not her birthday, since Emily has ruined it. Laila then starts complaining that she was having a nice time with Shekeb and the two neighbors then Emily had to come and ruin the birthday party. Laila clutches her head and keeps moaning like she's in pain. Shekeb tries to get her to open Emily's present, but Laila just whines that she doesn't want to and she shouldn't have to. Poor Emily is just confused, telling the camera she wanted to try and wish her a happy birthday and bond with her and instead got screamed at. Emily tries again, and asks Laila why she doesn't trust her or want her around. Laila, in complete seriousness, says that Emily being around exhausts Laila, because all Emily gives off is negative energy. The neighbors don't know what to say, so they pipe in the cake is good. Laila says it's good they can eat it because she can't due to Emily probably trying to poison it. So....she thinks Emily is a witch who can craft a poison that *only* works on Laila?? Laila apologizes to the neighbors for Emily ruining the party, and one of them pipes up that both of them love Shekeb so maybe they can come together and focus on celebrating Laila? Yeah, no. Laila says that Emily is not the right woman for Shekeb. She says Emily wants to take Shekeb away from her. Emily insists that is not the case, but Laila says it is and Shekeb is hers not Emily's. She says Shekab loves her more than Emily, and Shekeb says "Well, it's a different love." Laila isn't deterred, saying she knows it's different because Shekeb's love for her is forever.
Shekeb has finally had enough. Laila says she will respect Emily over her own dead body, so Shekeb asks if she wants Emily to leave. Laila says she does, and Shekeb says fine, he's leaving with her. "Noooo!" Laila wails. She keeps insisting that is Shekeb leaves, she will die. Father Shekeb tries to pipe in, saying if Laila has respect for Shekeb she should respect Emily and accept this gift. "STFU" Laila basically tells her husband. Now I see why he doesn't want to spend any time with her.
Outside, the producer asks Father Shekeb what he thinks of Emily. He thinks she is a good girl, and he doesn't really care about the cultural differences as long as they make each other happy and take care of each other, which he says they do.
Inside, Shekeb says his mother is embarrassing him, and they will be leaving. She grabs for him, but he gets up, gets Emily and they head out. Laila shouts at Emily that she doesn't ever want to see her face again, she's ruining her birthday and ruining Laila's relationship with Shekeb. "I will call your mother, and complain about you!' Laila threatens. Everyone tells her she's embarassing herself, but she insists she is not. She says Emily is the one who should be embarassed, coming into Laila's home on her birthday. "I'm sick of you. I'm getting sick of you. You take my son away. I don't want to hear your voice again. You are bad luck. You are not coming in my home again!" Laila rages.
In the doorway, Shekeb tells his mother that she should be ashamed of how she's acting, and he and Emily head out to the car with Shekeb apologizing all the way. Emily is in a state of shock, because it's the first time Shekeb has stood up to his mom for her. She's proud of him, but also worried about the blowback...that Laila will now hate her even more. Is that possible? Shekab tells the camera his mother was acting like a child, and while it shattered him to do what he did, he had to walk out on her. He thinks Laila still looks at him as a boy, but Emily looks at him as a man, and he wants to be a man.
Inside, Laila insists to Father Shekeb that Shekeb will come back because he loves her. "But he loves her too" Father Shekeb says trying to bring his wife back to reality. Again, she basically tells him to STFU. She tells him to go outside and get Shekeb. He tries to tell her he thinks Shekeb is gone, but she insists he wouldn't leave.
Outside, Father Shekeb tries to get Shekeb to come back inside. He says Laila has been sick, so that's why she's crabby. Shekeb can't refuse the siren call of a sick mom, so he and Emily head back inside.
Laila tells the camera this is the first time she has a real feeling someone is going to take her son away from her, but she won't let him go.
Shekeb is like "Sigh. What's wrong, I was about to go." Laila's all "I'm going to dieeeee if you leave me....you want me dead??" Shekeb is like "Nothing is wrong with you." Laila moans "I promise I will die...I am so sick, she's ruining my birthday." She flips out when she notices Emily, asking why she is back. Emily tries to be nice, saying she's worried about Laila. "Worry about youself!" Laila snits back, suddenly full of piss and vinegar and no longer dying.
Emily ahd Shekeb sit on the opposite couch. Emily tries to reason with Laila, but it's no use. Laila tells her to go away, but Emily says she won't be going away as long as she's happy with Shekeb, and Laila knows that. Shekeb echoes this, saying he's happy with Emily. Laila refuses to accept this. She says Emily makes her sick. Shekeb says he's done with this, and he's not staying the night here. They get up and leave, with Laila calling after them, "You are not going to leave me Shekeb. Mama is gonna die." As they continue toward the door, Laila changes her tune. "You're a pig," she tells Emily. "Just go to your mom, make your mom happy." Emily is more mature than me, she continues out the door. I would have turned around and shouted "I WILL AND I"M TAKING YOUR SON WITH ME!"
Next Week: Laila's pig rants against Emily continue and she sets Shekeb up with another woman; Annette tries to take over Justina's wedding dress appointment; Steph is shocked to find Liz just let herself into their apartment while they weren't home to "clean" (aka snoop.)