Non (colossusx) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
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colossusx
ohnotheydidnt

ONTD Original: Top 5 of My Favorite Subgenre: Crazy White Ladies

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Disclaimer: It's completely reductive and harmful to have a woman lose her mind over a man or to have a woman go crazy to move the plot forward. These are tropes we really ought to be avoiding in the year of your lord 2020. Anyway, this is mostly to celebrate amazing performances, incredibly witty lines and my childhood.



Sheila Carter Grainger Forrester Warwick (The Young and The Restless & The Bold and The Beautiful)


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Crimes Committed:
[So many]Drugged and slept with Dr. Scott Grainger.
Kidnapped Scotty Grainger, switched him for a black market baby, who Lauren Fenmore thought was her baby, and named him Dylan Lawrence.
Kidnapped Lauren Fenmore, attempted murder of Lauren and Molly Carter.
Faked her death.
Blackmailed Lauren Fenmore and Brad Carlton with photos of their trysts.
Assaulted Lauren Fenmore, repeated attempts on her life.
Confessed to James Warwick that she had an abusive childhood and murdered her father by poisoning him.
Threatened Judy Johnson, Rick Forrester's nanny, into leaving and caused an accident which left Judy a paraplegic.
Altered paternity test of Bridget Forrester (1992).
Attempted murder (via Doberman) of security guard Mike Guthrie.
"Accidental" murder of Dr. Jay Garvin, her shrink.
Attempted to drown Lauren Fenmore.
Held Lauren Fenmore, James Warwick, Stephanie Douglas, Eric Forrester, Brooke Logan, and Ridge Forrester hostage at the Forrester Mansion (1995).
Possible murder of Dr. Tracy Peters.
Tried to drown Stephanie in the Forrester pool .
Mercury poisoning of Stephanie Douglas, framed Maggie Forrester for it.
Shot Stephanie Douglas (1998).
Payed Lance to drug and rape Amber Moore.
Murdered Lance by releasing a swarm of bees into his apartment.
Kidnapped and tortured Amber Moore.
Held Amber Moore at gunpoint.
Shot Brooke Logan and Taylor Hamilton (Taylor was thought to have died) (2002).
Escaped from prison and thought to have killed Ridge Forrester.
Engaged in a fight with Brooke Logan (2003).
Escaped from the prison for the criminally insane; "Sugar" returned in her place two months later after plastic surgery.
Poisoned Lauren Fenmore.
Tried to make Lauren Fenmore jump from a building.
Slapped Lauren Fenmore.
Blew up a yacht in attempt to kill Lauren Fenmore
Killed the doctor who performed plastic surgery that made her look like Phyllis Summers Newman.
Strangled Maggie Sullivan.
Locked Paul Williams and Maggie Sullivan in a cage.
Shot Maggie Sullivan.
Kidnapped Phyllis Summers Newman, Summer Newman, and Fenmore Baldwin.
Impersonated Phyllis Newman.
Trespassed on Katie Logan's property (Jun 2017).
Broke a restraining order set by Eric Forrester (Jun 2017).
Blackmailed Charlie Webber and threatened him against his life (Jul 2017).
Kissed a married Eric Forrester (Aug 2017).
Attacked Quinn Fuller with a fire poker, causing her to suffocate (Aug 2017).
Blackmailed James Warwick into letting her stay with Eric Forrester (Aug 2017).


Justification:
She just wanted to be HAPPY dammit and no one let her!

Verdict:
She crazy...entertaining! Not Guilty.

Madeline Ashton Menville (Death Becomes Her)


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Crimes Committed:
Abuses husband
Attempts to kill frenemy Helen Sharp (but oops she's immortal too)

Justification:
Listen, society is hard on women especially as they age. Is it HER fault we *gestures wildly at the world* value youth over everything?

Verdict:
Fuck the patriarchy. Not Guilty.

Ruth Patchett (She-Devil)


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Crimes Committed:
Blows up her own house, possibly endangering her neighbors and their homes
Falsified her identity

Justification:
Her husband, Bob, cheated on her with some romance novelist (played by Meryl Streep so good on him)! And she worked EVERY SINGLE DAY to please his ungrateful ass.

Verdict:
Honestly? Not remotely crazy. Driven to rather underhanded acts by a man? Absolutely. But insane? No, she did what she had to do to get her life back on track. Not Guilty.

Debbie Jellinsky Addams (Addams Family values)


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Crimes Committed:
Falsified her identity
Murdered her two previous husbands for money
Attempted to murder her last husband, Fester Addam, multiple times
Kidnapped the Addams'
Attempted to murder the Addams family (including Fester yet again)
Pastels

Justification:
She wanted BALLERINA Barbie, not Ma-LI-bU Barbie!

Verdict:
If she could have only seen the forrest for the trees she would have realized that she'd found a loving and accepting family who fully wanted to embrace her into their gothic bosom. Alas poor Debbie couldn't get past her pain and hurt. Not Guilty.

Kimberly Shaw Mancini (Melrose Place)


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Crimes Committed:
Murdered the man who [warning]raped her mother
Attempted to commit vehicular homicide against her husband Michael
Faked her death
Faked a baby's death (I know)
Stole said baby from his birth mom (including breastfeeding him while she was at it. I KNOW!)
Tried to overthrow a mental institution
Blew up the titular Melrose Place
The explosion killed some people but like who cares

Justification:
Was in an accident that her HUSBAND caused which seemingly broke something in her brain and caused her to act out.

Verdict:
She literally did nothing wrong. She is perfection. Not Guilty.

Overall Verdict:

Avoid men.

SOURCE for Sheila's crimes because I can't be expected to know all that ish
Tags: marcia cross, meryl streep, ontd original, roseanne, soap opera
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