Babar Suhail (babarsuhail) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
Babar Suhail
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ohnotheydidnt

Willow Smith says she and brother Jaden were “shunned” by the black community



Willow Smith spoke candidly on a recent episode of “Red Table Talk” saying that her and her brother’s unique sense of self-expression cost them their place in the Black community.

“With the African American community, I kind of felt like me and Jaden were shunned a little bit,” Willow said Tuesday.

When it comes to expressing themselves, the brother and sister duo live life on their own terms, and as a result, Willow believes the Black community felt they were “too different” to be accepted. “We’re not gonna take pride in them because they’re too different. They’re too weird,” the 19-year-old said.

Her mother Jada followed her comment with her own admission that she was mom-shamed by the same community due to how she chose to parent her children, Good Morning America reported.

“There was a firestorm,” Jada recalled as she spoke on her personal experience, specifically when Willow shaved her head at the age of 11 in 2012. But it didn’t stop there–in fact, the mother of two says it got worse when her son Jaden stepped outside gender norms by wearing clothes made for women like dresses and high heels.

“When he was wearing a skirt, then he isn’t what people consider your ‘typical Black man,'” Jada added.

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Tags: actor / actress, black celebrities, willow / jaden smith
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This always reminds me of lipstickalley. 99% of the people there are extremely bigoted. So many equate men wearing feminine clothing to child abuse. When I posted there, homophobes told me I was going to Hell and even threatened me.
Are those the people who say Charlize Theron should be in prison cause of her duaghter?
Those are some, yes. They make up scenarios of child abuse. They’re obsessed with it.
I called that place out on here and someone called me racist. Lipstickalley can be vile

kinkiestofboots

6 months ago

are you black?
Did they call you a witch?

kinkiestofboots

6 months ago

Oh this definitely happened and I remember it vividly. They are currently doing this to Zaya Wade
I mean they ain't lying.


I saw Willow on Rihanna's Fenty show.
WOW. She is STUNNING.
Yep this is absolutely correct. Homophobia in the Black community is fucking wild.

friarsfire

October 16 2020, 20:31:32 UTC 6 months ago Edited:  October 16 2020, 20:35:50 UTC

I really get touchy when people talk about the black community monolithically. I will definitely acknowledge the social conservatism that many have but that’s more a function of religious background (whether practicing or just raised in that environment) - I don’t think similarly religious people of any race would react any different.

But to be perfectly clear - I am certainly acknowledge the reception they got and of course completely think it’s fucked up. My only point was pinning it to blackness versus something more specific.
I remember white people saying the same things about jaden's clothes

Gender non-conforming expression is shunned by everyone, regardless of race, due to their prejudices. A lot of it's rooted in effemiphobia, which is tied to misogyny and I don't think any one racial group is statistically more prone to such prejudices than any other group. It's probably more or less the same across all ethnic groups
While you're right about gender non conforming expression being shunned by most racial groups, when it comes to black celebrities—black people have A LOT to say. It's part of our culture, they feel like it's okay to spout their opinion into the void and the repressed, conservative, church values spring out like a can of worms when any other black celebrity does anything. As we see now with Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade's daughter. I want us to do better.

peddlestools

6 months ago

reciprokates

6 months ago

I completely agree, I think the voices of the community's disapproval roared louder than the praise received by other "black alts". I think what they've done with their artistic talents have been so important for the culture (same with solange, fka, tyler, steve lacy, chloe and halle etc) but it doesn't matter when you have people on lipstickalley or shaderoom being straight up ignorant. I hate that for us honestly.

surfermedley

October 16 2020, 20:46:44 UTC 6 months ago Edited:  October 16 2020, 21:20:02 UTC

My only point was pinning it to blackness versus something more specific.

But they aren’t pinning anything to blackness, they are simply having a conversation about their experiences in a community they belong to. They should be allowed to do that, no need for whataboutisms. And I am almost certain they didn’t mean literally every black person, but if a few made them feel shunned as children, we all need to hold ourselves accountable.
I feel as though every
time there's a post or comment that calls out the black community on its extreme homophobia, there's always a comment/response similar to this. Christianity has an undeniably heavy influence on the black community and queerness is largely deemed unacceptable.

And as a gay black man dating a white boy, I can detail just how different my experiences can be depending on when I'm having out with his family or mine and/or going to a straight black club vs a straight white club.

Especially when regarding younger generations, white people are incredibly more likely to be accepting of queerness as compared to black people.
I'm glad you mention the conservatism due to religion because I feel that to be the case as well... that said, as a group of people that has marginalized, discriminated against, and killed throughout history, I feel it is very hypocritical in this day and age to hate someone for being different and misunderstood. I don't even know how religious groups would go about this but for the sake of community and love of others, Black people should be taking the lead in this. People in general know better, regardless of background and upbringing. Anything else is mostly willful ignorance IMO
There is a point to be said about religion playing a part in universal homophobia, but there is also something to be said about the way slavery and colonialism has inferred the way many black people approach the LGBT community. The emasculation of black men through rape and abuse occurred all the time. You can't say generational trauma hasn't made a general impact.
Clothes aren't made for women, they're made for people. It's the narrow mind of society adding gender to shaped fabrics.
Bras are made for women. Men can wear them sure but 99.9 % of bras are DESIGNED to accommodate breasts that are a sex-based characteristic. Same with underwear that need to accommodate penises. Women can wear them but they’re designed for men. Sex exists, sex matters.
So, you're okay with it as long as people wear their assigned underwear?

freeze_i_say

6 months ago

paceyringwald

6 months ago

freeze_i_say

6 months ago

erasethisworld

6 months ago

freeze_i_say

6 months ago

erasethisworld

6 months ago

freeze_i_say

6 months ago

erasethisworld

6 months ago

freeze_i_say

6 months ago

paceyringwald

6 months ago

peddlestools

October 16 2020, 20:33:24 UTC 6 months ago Edited:  October 16 2020, 20:34:42 UTC

I remember some of the Instagram comments and tweets

It made me sad

Of course there were plenty of white people commenting on his clothes too so pretty much no race or ethnicity accepts gender non-conforming expression
Yeah but it’s easy to dismiss shit white people have to say, they’ll hate in black children no matter what they say, do, or wear. It’s much harder as a black person to hear it from other black people.
100%, I feel similarly when I hear fellow Jewish people being homophobic. It hurts more

lulufairybubble

October 16 2020, 20:42:14 UTC 6 months ago Edited:  October 16 2020, 20:44:55 UTC

I usually don't speak up about this. I never feel comfortable in this coversation. I was weird and Black before it was cool to be weird and Black. Plus I'm from the Deep South. I have honestly not had that much issue in the Black community. Maybe one or two people my whole life. My experience has been very accepting. I wasnt shunned. The Black community let me do my thing for the most part. I get uncomfortable in this conversation not bc of my experience but bc outsiders view it and think the Black community is more close minded or bigoted than other communities. It isnt true and non Black people RUN with that shit. And I'm really tired of white people being held up as the standard. White people(and other non Black communities) are just as judgemental, bigoted and close minded.
I want people to speak about their experience and issues about our people but outsiders seeing it makes me feel weird. And how some express their frustrations falls into white supremacy to me tbh.

Yes! This is a conversation that needs to be had and normalized, but it still feels very much "for the dinner table". Not too sure how to reconcile :/
Breneicia, one of the founders of ontd, lives in the south and had an experience similar to yours

And then brenden & co stole ontd from her and her friends

She's a really great dj now, goes by luxe posh

What?!?!?!

Omg I had no idea about this history
I don't know if I'm remembering this correctly, shit it was so long ago...
But didn't the original owners try to fight back for ownership of ONTD, then they just disappeared or something?
I feel like I remember a post here long ago, about one of the owners speaking out about it.

Then again, I could be completely wrong.
LOL
i never liked that lot and feel completely justified in it now (the ones that stole ontd, i mean)
oh absolutely! even though i was picked on, that definitely fed into my anti-Blackness that i had to unlearn. it all intertwines somehow.

lovebum4life

October 16 2020, 22:09:56 UTC 6 months ago Edited:  October 17 2020, 02:40:09 UTC

Yeah this is why I always feel so weary of having these conversations in white spaces. Because I get where it’s coming from but often times people do use it as an opportunity to prop up white people as if it’s not one and the same
ia
I definitely feel like it's a conversation that needs to be had especially when it comes to issues like homophobia within the black community and more than just in private but I also think that people tend to forget that being black isn't a monolith even when it comes to issues like the ways we experience racism. Looking back on it I was the 'weird' black kid but I wasn't really treated as such so being different wasn't even something I really had to think about. But even saying that there's still a lot of casual homophobia, misogyny etc. even among people who should know better that I hear every day and sometimes it feels like talking to a brick wall when you bring it up.
As a weird black kid and weird adult, I can attest that I did not have a horrible experience with my community shunning me in any sort of malicious way. Of course there were people here and there, but generally people just saw me as the weird artist type anyway.

I can say they society (and I mean this as including white people) as a whole does not let Black people be anything outside of the mainstream stereotype. We even have politicians who believe pandering to black people is talking about hot sauce in their bags and corny rap videos. It is ubiquitous, not just from our community. I'm most misunderstood from white folks who think that they can school me on punk music or modern abstract expressionist art.
Many - not all - American black people are so hellbent on adhering to some white Western standard of 'normal' that they throw those of us who don't comply under the bus.
but that’s the thing, willow and jaden were “conforming” to the white Californian hippie western standard

i dont like this idea that the smiths were doing something ~ground-breaking that regular black people had no idea how to react to and never seen before

no. my aunt who lived in oakland in the 70s rolled her eyes and kept it moving when the smiths started talking “indigo children”
As a Black person who has always been seen as "alternative" from the other Black people I grew up, I totally buy this and understand.
Same here, and they didn't exaggerate a thing.
Same.
Ditto.
Yep. Holla
YEEEEEEP
same tbh, like it sucked not be accepted by any community
Same :/
Yep, I get it
Yup hey girl hey
Oh yes.
Yes, the Smith's are totally validated in their experiences because I've been there before too and I empathize.
I can't fault them for what he said - the Black community isn't a monolith, but as young children, it was definitely accepted to clown and ridicule them in certain Black spaces, especially online. I remember when Jaden first started wearing skirts and dresses and so many people on Twitter/IG claimed he was doing it to embarrass Will and Jada and calling him a f*g

anterrabre

October 16 2020, 20:51:05 UTC 6 months ago Edited:  October 16 2020, 20:52:00 UTC

As a Black bb alternative girl back in the day growing up in a religious family I really felt for these kids. If you stick out in any way some folks just want to hammer you down but there are also those that will respect and even admire you for doing your thing. There are young Black kids that years from now will say the Smith kids were an inspiration to them.
I remember a lot of people acting really shady about them so I don't blame them for feeling this way.
Yeah not surprised. It's very common. It's kinda like how if you're into music (rock) thats not hip-hop or r&b you get looked at weird and get told "that's white people shit". Similar to if you act or dress differently....it's all pigeon-holed as white people shit.

Regarding that in music it's funny because at the forefront and origins of rock music are black people. You even ask who some of the famous classic rock stars like the beatles and rolling stones who their inspiration was and it's almost black blues/rockabilly musicians but history and culture has made it as if white people invented the genres.

You can find this in the latin community too lol.
Yep me too. The fuck. In fact, I still get shunned by Black and Asian communities to this day by simply existing. I am about to be 32 years old soon. I’m very sensitive about being called a hafu, like it is triggering but that’s their damn business.

Im like a ghost or a fucking myth lol until they see me irl. I was once brought to the Korean church by friends I met in college 6 or 7 years ago that I was invited to a BBQ brunch (y’all know I’m here for Korean BBQ Lmao) but didn’t mention it was a church so it was unexpected and it was my first time going to Korean church. I never mentioned this to my mother, she still don’t know to this day: since I was literally the only Black Asian there, the pastor and elders excitedly approached and legit asked (demanded actually) me to do the whole MJ dance more than twice. Very demanding. I minded my business and was hungry. I was speechless. It was sooo uncomfortable, I lost my appetite and I was visibly upset that nobody understood why. The pastor laughed it off telling me it’s okay go ahead don’t worry. They begged me to stay and reminded me they came from a very different time, they came to America for this. That was Jaws dropping moment. I had to ask somebody to drive me home. So I never told my family about this but y’all on here lmao and nobody gonna know anyways. So thanks.
oh my god, i'm sorry <3
Yeah I’m good. It was an experience I can never forget in this lifetime. The fact that I still feel this is something I have to take with me to my grave or ashes lol. I rather not have my family know about it. Not even my birth dad who’s also black Frenchman born and grew up in France. I went to black church with him and his parents as a kid back in the 90s. Eventually I phased out of church growing up. Don’t even get me started with my family ~forcing me into Mormonism against my will and it lasted like two weeks. Plus there was literally only one dark skinned black dude from New York in church who I had the pleasure to get acquainted with. He was so different when he was arounda lot of white people in his fellowship. He ignored me the whole time at In n Out and I just sat there eating my fries all like oh ok 👀 lol. It was all forgotten and fam was like "welp we tried! Let ohwutevernvm be". That was back in 2000s. Things are so different now. I just knew I cannot belong to any communities that look at me differently beyond I am to them. So that was in the past so it is all good. I be chill lol.
I'm so sorry bb <3 sending you so much love

ohwutevernvm

6 months ago

Jesus Christ, I am so sorry to hear that. I used to watch a lot of videos about black folks living in Korea and that “dance for me” thing seems to be a reoccurring theme in all their videos.

ohwutevernvm

6 months ago

senshicalico

6 months ago

I'm so sorry, friend.
No one should have to go through that, I feel horrible that you were put through such a experience.

But, we love & support you!
<3

ohwutevernvm

6 months ago

Damn. When people suck they really suck!

*hugs*

ohwutevernvm

6 months ago

A lot of asians been in the United States too long to be pulling shit like this.
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