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ohnotheydidnt

Jana Duggar, 30, admits she worries she is still single



Jana Duggar is the oldest single Duggar kid and she continues to live at home.

The unmarried 30-year-old talks about her single status on tonight's episode of Counting On

She admits she often gets questions about why she hasn't found the one.

She doesn't think she's picky, but people think there must be something 'wrong' with her — and she sometimes wonders if it's true:

"Most of my siblings have gotten married really young," she says. "Some people are like, 'Are you picky?' I'm like, 'I don't think so.'"

Her friend chimes in and says, "Or they're like, 'What's wrong with you? Why are you still single?'" Jana continues jokingly, "'Yes! And then I think wait... 'Oh my, is there?'"

Jana admitted in July that she 'longs' to be married
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theactualworst

September 15 2020, 20:15:53 UTC 7 months ago Edited:  September 15 2020, 20:16:20 UTC

It can feel rough sometimes being single in your 30s (mostly cause men are T R A S H) but I'm so glad I didn't marry my longterm bf. I'd be so unhappy now. Being lonely in a relationship is so much worse than being alone.
Be picky, don’t settle. Being alone is better than being miserable and stuck with someone you can only just barely tolerate.

Even most ‘good’ dudes range from ‘ain’t shit but got a job’ to “deeply flawed on at least two levels”. Or they got a fucked up family.
I'm 33 and love it. lol sorry

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Same, people keep telling me it'll happen and that there's nothing wrong with me, and I'm like...if there wasn't something wrong with me, I would not be constantly alone, so??? What is it?? What's wrong with me??

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la_geni

7 months ago

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Girl, just escape your family and live your life the way you want instead of raising everyone children.

Few years ago my mind created a scenario where Jana actually did escape and decided to do her own reality show and my brain kept going back and fourth of her writing a tell all....but that probably wouldn't happen.
PLEASE BE GAY. I've always wanted one of them to come out and destroy their family and be like LOL YOU SUCK, HERE'S THE TEA I LOVE PUSSY.
wish her the best considering her nut job family
I'm about to turn 30, my life is a certified trainwreck, and I'm really, really tired of being single, man. With every passing year, I get more convinced that it's never going to happen for me and I'm starting to get scared lmao. Gonna spend my birthday depressed as FUCK tbh.
just saw this. but i get you 100%. i had a kind of heartbreak this year and in quarantine and with someone who i wasn't even in a serious relationship and it made me realize that i may be single always and i don't know what's wrong with me that guys never seem into me the way i'm into them. i'm just tired of being single too but at the same time i feel like i've been single forever just to settle with a random ass guy. it's never a win/win.
Gonna be 30 in a couple of weeks + still single (...haven't had a real relationship lololol) and living at home.

My sister (older) and I both do but we also contribute to bills/rent/household stuff and culturally, it's really common for unmarried kids to still live with their parents, which is annoying when white people in the U.S. look at me like I'm weird.

I'll likely eventually move out once we find a house for my parents outside of the area we live in because my industry is in major metro areas and not sure if I want to be remote forever (and live in a tiny ass town with them).
I'm 33 and live with my grandparents in a studio built onto the back of their house because there's not a shot in hell I can afford to live if California on my own. Probably the only reason I actually want to be married is to have that joint income with my spouse.

elderpricely

September 15 2020, 20:28:50 UTC 7 months ago Edited:  September 15 2020, 21:21:58 UTC

I do think it gets hard for women who date men after a certain age, because on top of the fetishization of youth for sexual reasons, men also buy into a lot of narratives about "older" women.

Men who aren't ready to settle down assume that if you're 30+ you must be desperate to trap them with marriage and have a kid ASAP, even if you say otherwise, but men who are ready to start families also go younger because youth = fertility. And of course women over 30 are bitter, crazy, unattractive, controlling, nagging, no fun, etc.

God forbid you're older and financially successful. Then you really don't need them, can't be manipulated by them, and make them feel emasculated, and they hate that.

So many men's age range cuts off at 29 even if they're fucking 45, so your pool of potential dates shrinks considerably after 30 if you're online dating. The ones who are left have baggage of their own like anyone who's lived that long does.

And of course if you want kids biologically as a woman, there can be a real sense of desperation as you get past your ~prime~ years. I'm not interested in men/kids but for my older friends who are, it weighs really, really heavy on them. Add in religious obligation or conservative norms and that's doubly so.
I feel like the shift to online/app dating makes this worse, too. Like I feel like my Gen X parents have actually rather a lot of friends who met someone and got married after 30… but usually they were introduced by friends, met at a party, etc. the sort of stuff where you have a sense of someone's age but won't necess. know the exact number off the bat.

but now you can just set your age range filters, and even men who have theirs set to include 30+ probs tend to have a subconscious bias for younger. and apps have cannibalized so much of dating that I think it's legit harder to meet a match in your day-to-day life these days.
I've met so many men - and this isn't necessarily men I've dated, but just like single men I know - who have their Tinder or what have you set to 18+ and when I see that I'm like :o ew what is wrong with you and they just shrug and are like "oh, I mean, I just want to ~keep all my options open~" and I can only assume that while they may not get a ton of matches that age, those women would be the ultimate prize and their preference would always skew younger even if they were technically open to a woman in their 30s. this belief was confirmed as I got older and men flaked on me or let conversations die SO much more often on the apps at 27 than they ever did when I was 21
I agree completely.
I remember using Bumble at 24/25 and setting my age range to go up to 45 because hey, why not, I was only really interested in casual dating and didn't want to completely close myself off to a potentially hot dude in his 40s, you know? and I figured a guy that old going after a woman my age would be doing so because they also didn't want anything serious, right? wrong. so many dudes 20 years older than me were seriously pursuing girls barely out of college because they'd finally decided they wanted to start a family and wouldn't dream of doing so with a woman over 25 because they wanted to have lots of kids ASAP and explained to me that it was "simply biology" that prevented them from having any interest in a woman their own age. gag

elderpricely

7 months ago

lol oh god this is stressing me out! I turn 30 very soon and didn't realize all this about filters, etc.

I've intermittently put dating on a hold for the past couple years, based on how busy work is. The last time I dated was at the start of 29. Maybe I should squeeze a month in of "dating in my 20s" before I'm filtered out LOL

elderpricely

7 months ago

Jeez conservative society makes it seem like we 30 year old women are just dusty poons, expired eggs, and wrinkles.
it's not just conservatives tbh
Yeah that is true, but it's definitely more aggressive in the sentiment in those circles.
On Asianboss they cover park in China called People Square where parents try and get there adult children who didn't marry and try and set them up for a husband or wife.




I think in general people would look down at someone who isn't married by the time you are in your thirties.
I think Rona made me realize that I am a bit lonely and wouldn't mind having a man in general but with my apnea all but keeping sex drive on off mode the desire to seek one out comes and goes.
Shit I hope I’m still single or at least unmarried when I’m 30.
98% of my female cousins were married with a kid and a decent career by the time they were 30, and it fucked me up tbh. I was in my late 20s in a dead end job and no love life and just hated myself for it. I'm 31 now and went back to school 2 years ago and work at a job I really love now, so I feel better for that. But I've always wanted a family and feel like my time is running out :/
Can I ask what you went back to study, and was it harder being older? I never went to college and it's looking increasingly likely I'll not be able to move forward without going as an adult. I'm terrified I won't be able to keep up, or I'll pick a course of study that's useless. Any info I can gather is useful. :)
Absolutely! I went back to study early childhood education, and went to a college instead of a university so it was a two year course. My program at the college was 4 semesters, and each semester had a placement, which helped me gain hands on experience and also led to me getting my job (second placement liked me enough to hire me). It wasn't hard at all as an adult, in fact I'd say 75% of the people in my class were "mature" students. Align yourself with the older students and you'll be fine

caesarea

7 months ago

hardcoreninja11

September 15 2020, 21:03:09 UTC 7 months ago Edited:  September 15 2020, 21:07:42 UTC

I'm 33, been single for a while now and I'm honestly not that bothered. Do I fantasize of having a partner? Of course. I'm a huge gooey ass romantic and it's natural to get smothered by that type of longing, but I don't need it enough that I actively put myself out there in the dating pool. And maybe that's my problem lol, I dunno. I'm very independent and super comfortable in my solitude that I'm at a point now where I've accepted "If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't... (shrugs)".

Dating is hard and exhausting, not to mention scary for women these days in general so I basically just don't want to mess with it. I've done that shit enough. Relationships are fucking amazing if you have a good partner but I don't NEED it to fulfill my life. It took me until my late 20's to understand this about myself and I'm much happier for it.
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