djbbgoose (djbbgoose) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

ONTD Original: Boss Bitch Anthems

On this momentous day (Bey Day) and our fifty-leventh Friday in quarantine, this OP is hopping on the ONTD Music Original bandwagon with a collection of "Boss Bitch Anthems", aka Things That Were On My Going Out Playlist When Going Out Was Still a Thing.

The prompt: songs that make you feel like you're unfuckwithable, fly, and confident. Songs that make getting ready take hours because you're bopping so hard.

1) Bossy by Kelis

I'm the first girl to scream on a track / I switched up the beat of the drum

Is it possible to make this list without this song? That asymmetrical pixie pre-Rihanna? Kelis is thee blueprint.

2) Bad Girls by MIA

Accelerating fast I can do this in a second /Lookin' in the rear view, swaggin' goin' swell

MIA is messy, but there's no denying that this song goes off. The video is extra badass, featuring Saudi women behind the wheel years before they were legally able to drive.

3) Moneybag by Cardi B

I say bae issa snack, he say it's an entree / with them pretty ass twins you look like Beyoncé

Shoulda been a single. "Money" does not go nearly as hard as this song.

4) Tina Montana by Megan thee Stallion

Turn your bitch to a Thot like she Duckie / If I ever let him eat it, he lucky

Get some water, strap on your bionic knees, and get into it. Real hot girl shit.

5) Purse First by Bob the Drag Queen

Girl, I'm way too blessed to be stressed / Why pay more when you can pay less?"

A slightly different vibe from the other songs on this list, but I guarantee this song will make you "so into voguing right now". Drag queen musical outputs generally range from bad to terribad, but Bob the Drag Queen is one of thee most talented queens to come out of RPDR, and has served nothing but bops our way. Purse First gives a budget friendly lesson in feeling yourself. In this house we don't acknowledge T*drick.

6) Beef Flo Mix by Flo Milli

He love my confidence and that's what you lack / If you think I'm stealin' swag, bitch, come and sue me

Twitter queen Hunter Harris once described Flo Milli as "your overconfident little cousin" and Beef Flo Mix is like that little cousin calling you a broke hoe at the family reunion before collecting money from y'alls grandma. Only a boss can successfully rhyme "groupie" with "Tuesdee".

7) ***Flawless by Beyoncé

Ladies tell em say, I look so good tonight / Goddamn, goddamn, goddamn!

To me, Flawless is Beyoncé setting y'all straight about a few things (she's not just a little wife, this is her shit, bow down bitches, etc) before inviting everyone else to feel themselves too. You're flawless, we flawless together.

8) Phresh Out the Runway by Rihanna

Love it, then come and get it / I know that ya fuckin' with it

Rihanna is Thee Boss Bitch. Half her discography could be on this list, but I chose Phresh Out the Runway because it makes me feel like my 5'6" ass is stomping down the runway too, with Tyra and Miss Jay's words echoing in my head with every step. You see this walk? Kendall Jenner who?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

This is by no means an exhaustive list. Share songs in the comments that make you feel like the baddest bitch on the planet.
Tags: beyoncé, cardi b, megan thee stallion, music / musician, music / musician (pop), music / musician (rap and hip-hop), ontd original, rihanna
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