If you’re like me, firmly in the midst of that stage in life where you need to use night serums, then you’re undoubtedly experiencing incessant bouts of existential sadness. If that concept doesn’t ring a bell, then I implore you to dig deeper into your psyche. Investigate why you feel the need to keep up that charade. Why are you trying to impress a block of text?
If 2020 has taught us anything, it's that we can’t always call (me), beep (me) for a friend to save us. Realizing that everyone—including your own goddamn self—is struggling is excruciatingly painful. Growing up sucks.
You know what doesn't? Re-visiting your embarrassing youth. A time when your most vital responsibility was to avoid leaving peanut contraband on doorknobs. Unabashedly shouting along to songs that compare society to being locked in a penitentiary. Music that sends an envelope directly addressed to your soul— an envelope filled to the brim with glitter.
So, here's a collection of underrated tracks that Disney Channel and Family Channel (for my fellow Canadians!) rotated so your adult-self could nurture your neglected inner-child. Let it reprimand you for believing your present-self is anything else but fucking rad.
1. "Nothing's Wrong With Me" by Loretta Modern & the Zeta Bytes
Pixel Perfect was channelling hologram realness with Loretta Modern and the Zeta Bytes before the estates of all your favourite post-mortem celebrities. The banger’s not an opinion, it's a fact.
2. "Some Call It Magic" by Raven-Symoné
... It's just a special gift that I have... It runs in my family... Gets me into trouble sometimes, but you know. My friends are there for me, so it's kinda cool… OOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEAH
3. "Drama Queen (That Girl)" by Lindsay Lohan
Back in the day, Hollywood Records made sure this gem played on all its channels (especially the Family Channel) during every commercial break… and I am forever grateful because I'm still that girl.
4. "Start of Something New" by Troy Bolton & Gabriella Montez
5. "Why Not" by Hilary Duff
6. "Supergirl" by Krystal Harris
7. "Step Up" by Cheetah Girls“Woo Chanel! Dorinda, go on girl! Aqua, do your thang! That's right Galleria!” Yep. That interlude single-handedly created homosexuality and ended homophobia— at the same time. So, so powerful.
8. "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes" by Disney Channel Circle of Stars
A dream is a wish that generational wealth makes, but let’s ignore that for the time-being. Your rainbow will come smiling through— trust.
9. "Who Said" by Miley Stewart as Hannah Montana
10. "Follow Me (Zoey 101 Theme)" by Jamie Lynn Spears
This is my very first post! <3 My apologies if the formatting reads like vomit!
Anyhoo... ONTD! What are some of your favourite Disney-Channel-aesthetic songs from your youth?