Ali (elderpricely) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
Ali
elderpricely
ohnotheydidnt

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ONTD Original: Shows I Will Probably Never Watch Based on Their Irksome Titles Alone

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There's something about these titles that rankles the ear to such an extent that even an intriguing cast or outstanding reviews can't bring me to click on them.

Peaky Blinders
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This title evokes images of an old lady peaking out her sitting room window from her plastic-covered couch, scoping out the neighborhood gossip. Based on the gifs I've seen, this is not accurate, but without more research I can't imagine an alternative that makes this title relevant.

[Not Interested]
Wynonna Earp
wynonna-earp.jpg
Earp strikes me as an unpleasant fusion of oop and erm, or maybe a stifled belch. For reasons unknown to me, I also believed this show had a Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman-era setting until I looked up a photo for this post, but Google Images returns a lot of crop tops and leather jackets, and apparently it airs on the SyFy channel. It may also include a lesbian romance, which could get it added to the queue in spite of itself.


Extant
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'Extant' is the opposite of extinct, but you wouldn't know it from my To Watch list. Don't know what it's about and don't care. I can only take so many pretentious shows that think they're smarter than they are, and I already watch Westworld.


Halt & Catch Fire
Halt-and-Catch-Fire-Banner.jpg
The fuck? Is this a play on Stop, Drop, & Roll, but with deeply masochistic tendencies? This tagline doubles the absurdity; imagining a slap fight for the CTRL key, like children racing to slam the elevator button, does nothing to convince me this show isn't stupid as hell. For that reason, I'm out.


Fear the Walking Dead
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I might not mind this one if The Walking Dead didn't already exist, but it's not like the protagonists in the original didn't fear the walking dead. Why is this being issued as an imperative statement like we need to be told to fear zombies? Duh bruh! Title aside, why would I bother with a clone of this terrible show without Rick or Michonne? Pass.


Better Off Ted
better off ted.jpg
That it's a pun is strike one. Then, taken at face value the title doesn't make sense. The guy is Ted, right? If he didn't become Ted, there's no way he'd know if he's better off as Ted than anyone else. If he's in a situation where he actually is better off dead, then the pun is obfuscating the real meaning with nonsense.


The Tomorrow People
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I would bet real dollars that a high school senior with an inflated creative ego from years of good marks on stale-but-readable English essays submitted a short story with this title to the nearest big city literary magazine and was shocked when it was rejected.


SOURCE: I'm easily annoyed.

What meaningless sh!t gets under your skin?
Tags: cougar town (abc / tbs), ontd original, peaky blinders (bbc), television - abc, television - amc, television - bbc, television - cbs, television - cw, television - syfy, the walking dead / ftwd (amc)
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