Group A, B and the dreaded C
It started when Mary von Aue, editorial director at the Observer, shared a wedding invitation:
Dear friends and family,
Please understand that our venue is limited in the number of guests we will be able to accommodate for our wedding day. As much as we would love to have each and every one of you join us on our big day, we are forced to split our guests into groups to ensure we do not surpass our capacity restrictions.
Group A: Please RSVP as soon as possible. We appreciate your promptness as we will be able to extend any vacant seats to any additional guests.
Groups B & C: Please keep a close watch on our wedding website for notice that we have space available. If you already know that you are unable to join us, it is helpful that you decline via the RSVP function on our website.
If possible, we encourage our guests to hire a babysitter for the night and leave your children at home. As much as we love your kids, we are doing our best to make space for all of the guests we can. We also ask our single guests to forgo their plus one if possible. We appreciate your understanding.
Mary, who shared the invitation on social media, was in Group A (assuming it was her invitation, that is). My Queen Padma Lakshmi and author Jessica Valenti both shared the invitation with their followers.
While many criticized the invitation for splitting guests into A, B, and C tiers, others didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, especially due to venue restrictions and COVID-19. What are your thoughts? Is this invitation over the top and lacking etiquette or is it completely reasonable?
I am floored by how many people think I'm overreacting. Guess it's the C group for me 😔— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) July 25, 2020
The following are all replies to the third source and original tweet:
There are acceptable ways to invite people in tiers. Many weddings do. It's a major breach of etiquette to *tell your guests* that they're in group B (or, heaven forbid, C). Don't send out invitations that aren't actually invitations.— josh gee (@goshjee) July 26, 2020
This isn't hard.
Don’t invite more people than can be accommodated and then you won’t make anyone feel literally like a 2nd class guest. No one with a shred of self-respect gets the Group B invite (I doubt Group Cs actually exist) and RSVPs yes.— Brian Edwards (@coconutphone77) July 25, 2020
Damn this might be how I RSVP to all events now— Mary von Aue (@von_owie) July 23, 2020
It's not good planning, it's terrible hosting. Every wedding has a preference list, and most are quietly grouped like this, but you don't send it out to guests. Are they supposed to queue outside your house and take a ticket?? "Congratulations, you are our 79th favourite person"— Kate (@ThisIsKateL) July 25, 2020
Yeah...I am honestly shocked that so many people are acting like they’d be SO offended to not be in group A. Like...grow up?? Realize that we’re in a goddamn pandemic and people are likely doing their best to make it work? Are people this self-centered??— slo jenn (@Roberta_Glass) July 26, 2020
I guess with social media it makes staggered mailing dates more difficult? All it takes is one group A to post about it and a Group b&c to see the post.— d4n (@dannjohn) July 25, 2020
You mean to tell me you’re NOT refreshing their Zola registry every five minutes? But you’re top of their wait list!!!— Mary von Aue (@von_owie) July 23, 2020
"Also, Group C will be required to stay after the event ends to buss the tables of Groups A and B"— Person, Woman, Mr. Bob Dobalina, Camera, TV (@theshb23) July 25, 2020
ONTD, would you attend a wedding during the pandemic?
Sources: 1 | 2 | 3