Ali (elderpricely) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
Ali
elderpricely
ohnotheydidnt

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ONTD Original: 🔌 Plug In 🔌 — Inspired by Armie "50 Shades of Beige" Hammer

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Have you been inspired to try something new after reading the ✨alleged✨ leaked DMs from self-appointed rope-master dom Armie Hammer? Has something terrible happened in your life and you need a distraction other than mommy porn? Well, safety first, kittens! (And remember: curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.)

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Go for a blunt top
I don't mean one who is "more open about his processes."

Most butt plugs you've seen probably came to a tapered point. While this can help with a gradual insertion — and you will need to do things gradually if you aren't a perfect whore like Armie's — it'll get uncomfortable as soon as you try to move around. Sit down and the sharp tip can press into your rectal wall. So instead of relying on a super-tapered plug to loosen you up, use fingers or other small toys until you're ready to move on to a blunter plug. You'll protect your insides from injury, make longterm wear more comfortable, and go about your day unbothered.

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Keep your heart in the bedroom
Heart-shaped jewels and feathery tails might be your aesthetic, but they're not very practical if you're going to meet daddy and his wife in public. When you step out, you'll want a T-shaped base that's molded to fit the natural hollow between your cheeks. This minimizes friction and prevents fatigue while up and about. If you're going to bang with the plug still in, you might have to switch out your T-shaped base for something smaller to make way for all 18cm (cropped).

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Don't underestimate the importance of length
There's no two ways about this one: your anus has two sphincters, and they both need to fit on the neck of your plug — unless you're training for something larger and want the muscle held open for an extended period of time. A long (2.5-3.8 cm / 1-1.5"), thin neck means the muscles have room to fully relax until Sir's next crisis of conscience prompt you to remove it.

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Stay hungry thirsty for daddy
Pick soft, high-quality, body safe material and a lube that's compatible with it. The wrong combination can damage your plug or dry out way too quickly. Use liberally. Remove and reapply as needed.

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Don't get left hanging in Los Angeles
Your muscles will be at their most fatigued at the end of your session. Because your sphincters will have snapped shut around the neck once you got past the widest point on the way in, you'll want to choose a plug that has some taper between the neck and bulb to help you get back up to max diameter on the way out. It doesn't have to be as gradual, but if it's a sheer drop, you could end up as torn as Daddy Hammer was about cheating on his wife.

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Now you're ready to go out,

Courtesy of sandstorm, here.


SOURCE: ONTDers in the original leak post: juanitatequila's thread | lloydsgurl's comment | kerosene_pill's comment | fubukihakuryu's comment | fbag17's comment | fernandocolunga's comment

Tags: armie hammer, behind the scenes, happy endings (abc), leak, meow meow meow, ontd original, toys / memorabilia / collectibles
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