crowdedstreets (crowdedstreets) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

ONTD Original: Is he cute or just tall? [Part 3]

Unimount Pictures Presents:

Cute or Tall (Part 3)

Once again, the idea belongs to therearewords. Here’s my best attempt at levity: a list of men who could be handsome, but are probably just tall. Remember, the taller you are, the less dense the air around your face. Air density has an inverse correlation with perceived handsomeness (Crowdedstreets et al. 2020).
Figure 1
Conclusion: It’s science. The taller you are, the higher your face, the lower the air density, the higher the degree of perceived handsomeness.

Ben Barnes
Height: 6’1” / 1.85m

Why he’s "appealing": Did I have a crush on him as Prince Caspian? Yes. Does he have any memorable features aside from his weirdly-large irises that make him look like a demon from the early seasons of Supernatural? No.

Verdict: You know the answer. Tall.

Nicholas Braun
Height: 6’7” / 2.01m

Why he’s "appealing": I know nothing about him but he seems to be aging better than your average white man in his early 30s so I commend him on that point.

Verdict: He's got that cherubic thing. I'll call him cute.

Jason Momoa
Height: 6’4” / 1.93m

Why he’s "appealing": Listen, I... I know he's said some unbearably moronic things. And it looks like his hair has never met a single drop of shampoo. But I... want him to penetrate me. And this is my post, so... I dub this often-rumpled Hawai'ian "handsome".

Verdict: Hummana hummana AWOOOOGA. Handsome.

Shawn Mendes
Height: 6’2” / 1.87m

Why he’s "appealing": I don't know if I'm getting old or if he's just a babyface, but despite being 21, he looks like he's got an 11-year-old's head on his body. I feel unclean even Googling him. I can't do this. Y'all can discuss.

Verdict: Wee babe. For legal reasons, can't comment further.

Sources: My brain. Tweets: 1 2 3 4

Who’s your favourite tall-not-handsome male, ontd?
Tags: #oscars, jason momoa, ontd original, shawn mendes, succession (hbo)

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