Opening Statements:
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of ONTD. Today, we will be hearing a very important case: Does Bret Michaels wear his bandana during sex?
It is up to you to listen to both sides of the case and reach a verdict.
The Prosecution: It is obvious to anyone who has a brain beneath their own bandana that Bret Michaels wears his bandana during sex. Here is the proof:
- In Rock of Love 1, when he, Lacey, Heather, and Brandi C. have a four-way, his bandana appears to stay on.
- In Rock of Love: Bus, when Mindy strips down to her lingerie and leads Bret into the bedroom, he appears to keep it on.
- In his sex tape with Pamela Anderson, he keeps the bandana on through the entire act. I will not link to this, for the sake of moral decorum.
- When he posed totally naked on the cover of Billboard magazine, he kept it on.
- Finally, if Flavor Flav wears his clock during sex, why wouldn't Bret wear his bandana during sex?
The Defense: Of course Bret Michaels does not wear his bandana during sex. Just look at the evidence. - During the phone sex challenge, he wore pajamas in a bed and his bandana was clearly off.
- When he met the girls' parents, he took his bandana off. Surely he would also remove it for such a profound, reverential moment as making love?
Your daughter is a SLUT!
Closing Statements:
We are living in a time of great controversy and debate. Namely, the question of whether Bret Michaels makes love while wearing his bandana. This issue is dividing our nation, ripping innocent people's lives in half, and tormenting many people's dreams. (Nightmares?) We simply must resolve this conflict.
The Verdict: It is up to you,
Does Bret Michaels keep his bandana on for sex?
Yes
322(87.3%)
No
12(3.3%)
Undecided
35(9.5%)
source, source, source
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