MalCobb (filmstudent23) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
MalCobb
filmstudent23
ohnotheydidnt

Kate Middleton feels exhausted and trapped. Poor thing is "working as hard as a CEO"



Karen Middleton is the subject on the new cover of posh magazine Tatler. The issue has been published to let y'all peasants know that without her, the future of the United Kingdom is doomed.

On her workload: ‘Of course she’s smiling and dressing appropriately but she doesn’t want this. She feels exhausted and trapped. She’s working as hard as a top CEO, who has to be wheeled out all the time, without the benefits of boundaries and plenty of holidays.’
She can't go on vacations or enjoy her castle thanks to you stupid peasants and their charity work. Uggh...

Her stoic dull personality: ‘It’s why she is so well suited. She keeps her head down because the prize of being queen is so great. She models herself on the Queen and now speaks like the Queen.’ Slay mayoo queeen with that half-dead stare.

"Won't somebody think of the children": Kate knows what the country needs and wants. Championing how to raise your children is perfect,’ one friend points out, of the Duchess’s ability to appear like a down-to-earth parent during a couple 10 minutes Zoom appearances.

And of course, since they can't keep the other two out of this narrative: A friend of the Cambridges speaking to Tatler magazine revealed: ‘William and Catherine really wanted to be hands-on parents and the Sussexes have effectively thrown their three children under a bus.’

Kate can’t make the school run! The insider went on to call Meghan Markle and Prince Harry ‘so selfish’ for their behavior, adding that their decision would have profound impacts on the Cambridge’s family life. ‘There goes their morning school runs as the responsibilities on them now are enormous.’ How in the hell are they going to fit the school morning run on top of their 2 weekly 10 minute zoom meetings and charity galas? Poor thing....

Kate the Kingmaker: Popular with courtiers, who admire her fuss-free ability to ‘get the job done’, as well as with her loyal royal staff, in the almost-decade since she joined ‘the Firm’, she’s more than proven her abilities as a royal consort. Indeed, she’s gone so far as to be dubbed ‘a kingmaker’.

Meghan made Karen cry over some tights: On the wedding day, ‘It was a hot day and apparently there was a row over whether the bridesmaids should wear tights or not. Kate, following protocol, felt that they should. Meghan didn’t want them to.’ The royal went on to ‘put Meghan in her place’, reprimanding her for speaking down to Kensington Palace staff.


Mind you, you can find all of this and more in the new issue of this magazine, which I'm sure has the latest on how to be a poor overworked and exhausted aristocrat in pandemic times.

Fun fact: the editor of this magazine is Richard Dennen, who's Kate good/old friend from college ;)

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Tags: british celebrities, royalty / royal family
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