I live, I die, I live again (sandstorm) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
I live, I die, I live again
sandstorm
ohnotheydidnt

ONTD ORIGINAL: It's the 3-Month Oscars!

Hey, it's April Fool's Day! I know many of ya'll don't like the jokes, but I've wanted to do this for awhile (After all, March 2020 has been going on for...a while). This isn't the most important thing, but it is a bit of levity.

Let's pretend that no movies come out for the rest of the year (RIP "Artemis Fowl" 😔)  - What is up for Oscars?

The criteria -


  • Must play for at least 2 weeks in Los Angeles County. Technically, the films that came out on March 13th do qualify, as there are still drive-in theaters playing these titles.

  • Must be at least 90 minutes long.

  • Probably something else.


BEST PICTURE

Poll #2100340 Best Picture!

BP

Birds of Prey
97(36.3%)
Emma.
80(30.0%)
The Invisible Man
44(16.5%)
Brahms: The Boy II
3(1.1%)
Onward
10(3.7%)
Sonic The Hedgehog
31(11.6%)
I Still Believe
2(0.7%)


Wow, what a ...crop of movies we have to pick from! Will we see our first superhero movie win Best Picture? Or our first Video Game movie? Or our first Christian Schlock film? Stay tuned!




BEST ACTRESS

Poll #2100341 Best Actress

BA!

Margo Robbie - Birds of Prey
88(43.8%)
Anya Taylor-Joy - Emma.
46(22.9%)
Elizabeth Moss - The Invisible Man
63(31.3%)
Blake Lively - The Rhythm Section
2(1.0%)
Vanessa 'People Should Die For My Appropriation' Hudgens - Bad Boys For Life
2(1.0%)


BEST ACTOR


Poll #2100342 Best Actor

Best Actor

Will Smith - Bad Boys for Life
58(48.3%)
Martin Lawrence - Bad Boys For Life
6(5.0%)
Robert Downey Jr. - Dolittle
12(10.0%)
Brahms - Brahms: The Boy II
24(20.0%)
Matthew McConaughey - The Gentlemen
20(16.7%)

GROUP OF BEST SUPPORTING ENTITIES


Poll #2100343 Multiple Supporting Entities

Hey, Enjoy Multiple Choice for Once!

Jim Carrey - Sonic The Hedgehog
40(17.1%)
Jurnee Smollet-Bell - Birds of Prey
89(38.0%)
Aldis Hodge - The Invisible Man
38(16.2%)
That CGI Dragon whose anus Dolittle Sticks His Fist Up
15(6.4%)
Jimmy O. Yang - Fantasy Island
3(1.3%)
Toby Kebbell - Bloodshot
7(3.0%)
Henry Golding - The Gentlemen
23(9.8%)
The Ocean - Underwater
19(8.1%)


DISCLAIMER:

OP has not seen "Underwater" and simply assumes the movie takes place there.

She has also not seen "The Gentlemen" or "Fantasy Island". But she did read the synopsis for the former, and it seems Henry really does have a fair amount to do!


BEST DOCUMENTARY:

Miss Americana

WHY?
P. Sure it's the only documentary to come out so far this year.
Look, I had to bend my own rules. Not sure it came out in theaters, but what are you gonna do?

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE:

Nominees:
Onward
Homeward

WINNER:

Onward



WHY?
Nice animation.
Really nice score.
The only wide released animated film of 2020 *so far.

Honorary-ish mention goes to TROLLS WORLD TOUR.
You ever notice how the Trolls movies come out during crises?
2016: Presidental Election
2020: Pandemic
I enjoy them, but for the sake of the planet, Dreamworks, please stop making them.


WORST PICTURE

Not like you saw any of these...if the theaters didn't shut down with the quickness, they were certainly pulled before then.
Poll #2100344 Boo this Film

Boooooo!

The Turning
4(4.7%)
Like A Boss
7(8.2%)
Dolittle
60(70.6%)
The Call of The Wild
9(10.6%)
Gretel & Hansel
5(5.9%)


src: Movies (temporarily) existing.

LJ was acting a damn fool so I can only hope the polls work properly. I had to make this post like 2 times.

Tags: award show - academy awards, ontd original
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