The Rideshare and Shawty: Out doing Uber.
She-Sheer She Shed and Ronald’s Neigbah: Tania and her mother’s captive is going to pick her up from the airport. When they are on the way back to Connecticut, Syngin recounts the very dangerous job he had working in the mines and Tania seems to get really annoyed with him. She grows frustrated that he didn’t attend a class but Syngin counters that those classes cost money that they don’t have.
The Sleazy and Perpetually Sweaty Sommelier and A Young Woman Who Desperately Needs to Get Away from Him: Sweaty Mike got Juliana a bike! Gorl be free bike far from Greenwich. She brings over Cece’s cheer stuff because her mom (Sweaty Mike’s ex) forgot it. She’s frustrated because she’s yet allowed to work. She recounts modeling in Brazil and how much she struggled. She reveals more details about her first marriage to a man 17 years her senior. Sarah is very touched by Juliana’s story. Later they meet to get her wedding dress altered and they talk shit about Mike – yay!
The Bee Keepers: Someone has replayed Colin Firth’s storyline in Love Actually too many times. He is going back to Turkey because he lied to his family about Anna’s kids. There they go with that damn translator app – is there no Turkish Duolingo? Honestly, she’s up there with Jenny as being a fucking sad sack. OP’s question to y’all, do y’all really think Mursel loves her? Y’all that production setup with the circling back of “I want to kiss you!” to “I want to punch you” and the camera cutting to this sad sack crying in paper towel. OP stopped to laugh at this for a good ten minutes – TLC is sooooo shady. Anna decides to be a good host and take this fool back to the airport and they won’t stop fucking crying.
White Future, Sr. and A New Mom Who Shouldn't Have This Stress: At the gym and hopefully getting Betsy's snacks out of the trash.
Rubik’s Cube and Glenn Close’s Character in Fatal Attraction: RC is going back to ‘Murica. Natalie is asked if she genuinely likes the Alien Aficionado but she stammers through her answer. She astutely points out that sometimes saying ‘I love you’ can be meaningless and that love has to grow but he’s an American citizen so…Later they argue and Natalie takes off her ring.
Sisqo and Iggy Ambiem: She got up from her nap to attend Sisqo’s show and doesn’t want to go and don’t like rap so she invites her sister. Reminder, her sister lives a block away from Sisqo and won the visa lottery. They try to be playful on the way to the gig and he’s late to the gig. OP agrees with Iggy Ambien’s view on the clurb. You already know them white people on that stage say the N-word. Sisqo’s friends question Sleepy’s intentions since she clearly didn’t like the music and wasn’t a hypewoman.
The Nigerian Citizen Who Is Overdue for His K1 and FedEgg: The Cake Colonizer has touched down to Nigeria to wreak havoc on black people for the third time. Michael was ready for his boo-boo as he came with cake, this time she did not feel swindled by the cake. Michael’s K1 visa was denied so Angela has come down to OP guesses to ‘git ‘er done’ or whatever trailer park speak is “to investigate”. She disparages him for what she considers to be fucking up the K1 interview because Michael didn’t tell USCIS about the engagement party. He got her a tacky clock that has pics of them all over it. Michael performs a horrible parking job to try to convince Angela who acts ignant about Nigerian food. He tries to relay what the Nigerian immigration lawyers said about getting married in Nigerian and she of course acts like a fucking ignoramus about it.