The Rideshare and Shawty: Anny and ha gawjus hair are back and Bryson’s feet want to be in her hair. She wants to get an apartment because she’s looking kinda lonely, feeling horny. He promised her the globe on the phone, but sis is in America and he’s giving her the city bus map. They argue in front of a stranger again and this asshole had the nerve to say she was acting like Bryson.
She-Sheer She Shed and Ronald’s Neigbah: probably cleaning houses
The Sleazy and Perpetually Sweaty Sommelier and A Young Woman Who Desperately Needs to Get Away from Him: He’s got cute dogs. They talk about getting a pre-nup and sis is not trying to hear it. He is going to take her to see a mediator and he wants a separate property so sis said she wanted the same. The reality hits her that she has no assets and he does and she’s scared about what that could mean for her life in America if he upends his lifestyle from her.
The Bee Keepers: We get a Bee-cherlorette party. He’s a conservative Muslim and doesn’t want you drinking, looks down on your kids and you but apparently there’s issue with him getting the honey from your comb. The fuck? Later, she makes a demand that Turkish Delight tell his family about her children. He decides he won’t. And we do this fucking dance again.
White Future, Sr. and A New Mom Who Shouldn't Have This Stress: OP hates this deadbeat more and more every week. They touch down in MUUUUUUUUUUURICA and they land in OP’s city. Mother Emily does not care about White Future, Sr. and it’s telling that Emily told him last week to not bring up his past relationships to her mother. How fucking dare he talk about Frosted Shredded Mini Wheats? Her sister hit the nail on the head. She’s going to the gym to keep an eye on his wandering ass. And they way he talked DOWN to her sister in her damn home????
New Loser and New Eastern European Lady: Rubik’s Cube Heathen is going to church. Is TLC frauding us with this – like OP knows morons like him exist but to have such a difference in religious beliefs and say oh we’re in love. Natalie has a breakdown about her want to have a child and being scared her relationship won’t last especially when her visa has not yet been approved.
Sisqo and Iggy Ambiem: Absent
The Nigerian Citizen Who Is Overdue for His K1 and FedEgg: She is already referring to Michael as “papa” to them damn kids. Y’all ha fucking neck – let this be a lesson put ya sunscreens on. She goes to try on wedding dresses. She thinks because she’s a taxpayer that it somehow gives her the right to have Michael here – okay that’s hella coded with that skin like a birthday streamer.
This episode has been brought to you by the life lesson that it's time to be our own sugar daddies, ladies.