I’ll be your favorite worst mistake. (stewie_e) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
I’ll be your favorite worst mistake.

ONTD Original: Potato Actors in Hollywood

Potatoes: Hollywood is full of them. Who and what exactly is a potato actor? Well most, if not all, potato actors are Caucasian, bland, starchy and must resemble a potato to a certain extent. For years now ONTD has referred to mainly three actors as such and since I’m part of that crowd who have bestowed such a name to an actor...I’ve taken into consideration the name of two additional actors for this original to join the ranks of the Potato Kingdom. ONTD can accept or reject them, this is a potatocracy after all. But they will remain in this post for archiving purposes. Grab a fry and let’s get started, things are about to get starchy.

Actor: Ansel Elgort
Position: Jester
Known For: The Fault in Our Stars, The Divergent Series, Paper Towns, Billionaire Boys Club, DJing, His 17 Selfies, Nepotism, etc.
Description: Officially given the title in 2015, Elgort is also well known on ONTD for his song “Thief” and its lyrics are often quoted.

Starch Rating

Actor: Channing Tatum
Position: King
Known For: She’s The Man, Step Up, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Dear John, 21 Jump Street, Jupiter Ascending, Magic Mike, etc.
Description: Known as the King of the Potato Kingdom and the original potato on ONTD, most agree that Channing Tatum outranks them all. Don’t ask me how, he just does.

Starch Rating

Actor: Miles Teller
Position: Prince
Known For: Footloose (2011), Whiplash, The Divergent Series, That Awkward Moment, Fantastic Four, etc.
Description: OP doesn’t necessarily agree with his “Prince” position but who am I to fight the hierarchy established by others and this icon by lumosofmylife.

Starch Rating

Actor: Taron Egerton
Position: LEGO® Duke
Known For: Kingsman: The Secret Service, Billionaire Boys Club, Rocketman, etc.
Description: I know LEGO isn’t exactly a “position” so we’ll refer to him as Duke or LEGO® Duke in the Potato Kingdom. Taron’s head shape is often referred to as a block or LEGO-like in the comments. Mean I know, but that’s ONTD for ya. It’s in our DNA.

Starch Rating

Actor: Joe Keery
Position: LEGO® Knight
Known For: Stranger Things
Description: Another blockhead and perhaps the most controversial new choice on this list. It was a toss up between Joe and Charlie Heaton. I decided to go with Joe and his big ass hair. I feel he fits with the rest of these potatoes. We’ll see if ONTD agrees.

Starch Rating

Which other actors do you feel belong on this list and should join the ranks in the Potato Kingdom?

Source: It me and 1 | 2 | 3
Tags: actor / actress, ansel elgort, british celebrities, channing tatum, list, miles teller, ontd original, stranger things (netflix)
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