cbluechicken (cbluechicken) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

ONTD Original: Suddenly the Koons is flop: ARTPOP revisited.

This is a follow-up to the last post about Katy's best, cohesive album (we're not talking about singles), Witness. ARTPOP won the poll, Bionic was a close second but tbh, we've had so many posts revisiting it, IDK if I'm going to revisit anytime soon.

Around this time, Gaga was at a peak. However things were beginning to change for Miss Stefani. If we're really looking back, the tables began to turn at Alejandro. While her fans think she invented costumes, colorful wigs, and high budget videos....us realistic observers knew better.

1. Aura

The first 2 minutes of this song are absolute trash. HOWEVER, the chorus is great and she sounds good. TBH, this is a terrible introduction to this album. This would be a good like 7th track.

2. Venus

I will absolutely never understand why Gaga replaced Venus with DWUW featuring alleged pedophile Robert Kelly (We will get to that later on). ROCKET NUMBER 9. Honestly, I think this should've opened the album and also should've been a single.

3. G.U.Y

I will forever be #PRESSED that this song flopped the way it did because it's such an immediate bop. The visuals for this song were fine except for Andy Cohen and the Real House Wives. If you aren't dry humping a muscle daddy at the gay club to this, then you need to go ahead and claim straight.

4.Sexxx Dreams

Echoing what users have said over the years. The iTunes festival version is superior. I truly thought we were going to get a Heavy Metal Lover type of midtempo and instead we got this. Now is this to say this is a bad song? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Don't get crazy. But I truly have replaced this version with the Itunes version

5. Jewels n' Drugs

This song is so god awful and the obvious pandering to the rising hip hop dominance was not cute. DELETE THIS.

6. Manicure

This song is amazing and tbh, I feel like the final minute is the peak of the song. I envision ha on top of a car in the rain (similar to Marry The Night). If you're running on the treadmill, ready to get SNATCHED for your hot girl/hot boy summer then this bop should be in rotation. #StreamManicureForClearSkin

7.Do What U Want
WHEW chillay, ya'll really turned a blind eye to how god awful Gaga's choice to collab, perform, and create that god damn video with Robert Kelly. I know she gave some opportunistic apology so she could get her Oscar but we won't be forgetting. What is that I hear? She had NO idea about Robert Kelly? Well the good sis doubled down and defended him in an interview. So save your excuses please and thank you. During this era, Gaga tried anything she could to gain public good will/ stans again. Even though she was integral in tearing Xtina down during the Bionic era. Stans...I DONT WANNA HEAR what ever revisioinist history you have. I said what I said. PERIODT

Anyways, stream the SUPERIOR version of Do What U Want


This is probably one of my favorite tracks from the album. It's a smooth, midtempo. I would listen to this while I'm walking down the streets of NYC at night or maybe taking a night drive with my joint in hand.


I literally dropped 5lbs from working out this song. Such a bop. TBH, she could release this now and dedicate it to the Pig of the United States, D****d Tr**p. OHHHHh you're so disgusting, you're just a pig inside.

10. Donatella
Is trash. NEXT

11. Fashion!
Is garbage. NEXT

12. Mary Jane Holland

I love this song. It does sound a little like a soundtrack song for a Rocky movie but alas, this is for the stoners of ONTD. After a little puff puff pass, my ass thought I was Mary Jane Holland tbh.

12. Dope
Good god is this song is so melodramatic and awful. I love a melodramatic bop but this is just not it. And I cannot handle Gaga screaming on this track. This song in a nutshell? Beautiful gowns.

13. Gypsy

HM, the same woman who wrote "You're Lebanese, you're Orient"...making a song titled Gypsy? Well. Enough said. I will said sonically, this song is a great running track. IMO, I think this is the "Edge of Glory" of this album.


What a ride. The song that gave us the infamous line "suddenly the Koons...". It's funny because so many stans tried to act like they knew who Jeff Koons was at the time. Sure jan. This song is great and a good lead single. She performed on the VMA's (which was kinda a mess) but the video is really cool and it was probably around the time of peak stan wars. It was pitted heavily against Katy Perry's Roar, which lol, this song is far superior.

So there we have it. The album, but the mess of the era was far bigger than the album. So what went wrong? Let's take a peak

1. Overexposure
At this time, Gaga was everywhere and tbh began to believe her own hype. Aside from that, the general public can never seems to take too much of a powerful female in pop music. For some reason we can still handle Drake releasing subpar music and mediocre bars but a woman who is actually trying to give us something? NOPE.

2. Backlash from working with R.Kelly
Gaga decided to take it upon herself and not listen to her team, and make a song with Robert Kelly. Not only that but she performed with him multiple times (grinding and such) AND made a scrapped video that eventually leaked. The video consisted of her being knocked out and people playing with her body? IDK but we will never forget although many people on here sometimes don't say much if you're lighter than a paper bag

3. Social media meltdowns/Angela Chang

Sometime during this era a woman named Angela Chang made rounds on the internet basically creating bad press for Gaga, which actually gained traction. Now the picture of Angela looks fake af but whatever he/she did, it worked because the bad press just kept coming and coming. Gaga also had what I can only see as cocaine fueled twitter meltdowns over the public backlash.

Now here we are in 2019, Gaga is an Academy Award winner for her song on Lifetime Original "A Star is Born". TBH, I feel like Gaga has done a wonderful job rebuilding her career and public good will. Only time will tell if she will be able to capture the magic of her earlier career when her album decides to drop. ARTPOP as an album isn't her best but it's not an awful album either. I feel like it's an album meant specifically for the clubs and the gym or maybe a roadtrip with your friends.

Tags: flop, lady gaga, music / musician (pop)

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