yeezus h. christ (yeezus_christ) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
yeezus h. christ
yeezus_christ
ohnotheydidnt

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'are you the one?' s08e08: 'this sucks and blows' recap


and we're back for another week of matters of the heart and loins of young sexually fluid hotties with bodies and poorest of pickers when it comes to love. there will be spoilers for last night's episode so if you didn't say to yourself "sleep deprivation is tuesday-me's problem" last night then avoid this post until you've seen it. if you're like me and spoilers don't phase you either way then come on in! the mess is fine!



join us, bbs!

in last week's episode, the house received three beams including two confirmed perfect matches!--the catch is that one of the perfect matches is known to the house, braasha (baasha...? aashon...?--brandon and aasha), and the other isn't, jonsit (bonathan...? basij...?--basit and jonathan).
in last night's episode, the house with danny's (underappreciated hottie) lead, got to calculating who the third beam could be amongst the remaining potential matches.


  • after some migraine inducing maths that i couldn't completely follow, it's determined that the third beam could potentially be longrunning lead hopefuls in the house jax, dai (dani...? kanny...?--danny and kai)--which i dont get because i could've sworn they sat together at the ceremony when the house blacked out--and jjasmine (jennasine...? jasmina...?--jenna and jasmine)

  • with the potential third beam couples decided by the house, jenna and amber are potentially not a match. which sucks for both of them because they deserve love after all the drama--amber especially.



  • amber and jenna get closer, bonding over height and stability in relationships, even though they know there's a 50% chance they aren't a couple. i think they could be...



  • basij (bonathan...? josit...?--basit and jonathan are fully booed up).

  • it's so cute and sweet i honestly have no ill feelings towards jonathan anymore.



  • jasmine out here being fine, fun, secure in herself and realistic about the situation they're all in in the house.

  • part of m feels for nour sometimes because she's clearly her own worst enemy. she expects the world to conform to how she feels through her relationships, which repeatedly sets her up for disappointment.



  • the dates were emblematic of why i watch this show.

  • jenna, amber and jasmine had a cute moment over drinks.

  • basit worked his angelic magic to give kai and nour a chance to be real with each other--after finding out that kai is big messy outside of the house too. got the girl he cheated on his then-girlfriend with naked on a balcony while he fights with his now ex-girlfriend...? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩



  • i don't know which which was better: that they played suck & blow with a pokémon card or that everyone was so bad at it that it was basically a big makeout session.

  • max is right to feel insecure. people in the house respect his relationship with justin, but would still fuck justin if given the chance and even though they both know they're a beam and i kow they're a beam--and i fight will all you naysayers !--they don't have that confirmation yet.

  • i think justin should've been more thoughtful and invited max into a triple kiss.

  • i don't blame paige for not trusting remy: they went on a date early, paige was honest about her insecurities and defenses with men that only want her for the physical and not get to know her and remy must've felt rebuffed (day one he was announcing his triple digit body count to the house with pride) because he didn't choose paige at the match up ceremony and based on footage didn't talk to her after. they could be cute, but i just don't trust remy--i like him as de facto house truthteller--but he's the second messiest, let's not forget that.



  • jenna, jasmine and amber's date was cute. they have a mutual understanding about the possibility of a match.

  • jenna's old hat at this shit because this was her third trip to the truth booth.

  • after jenna and jasmine are confirmed as a "no match", kyri does some quick calculating and determines that jenna and amber aren't a match either, which danny confirms. so now the potential beam couples are jax, basit and jonathan and danny and kai.



  • nour is coping with kai's fuckboi shit by drinking which brings the worst out of her.

  • jenna--who ya'll need to stop coming for--understands and consoles nour--and passes the torch of drama to her as well.

  • i'm glad jenna and danny--and basically the rest of the house understands--why kai behaves the way he does so they know how to handle it.



  • that party looked so fun--we love a theme!

  • paige was looking fine. i hate the drama between nour, kai and jasmine and "the remy rock" was interrupting her twerk time.

  • nour is in denial about her possesiveness (as always) and is wrongly bringing the drama to jasmine and jasmine is not with the shits and nour is really ready to fight over someone that's clearly not thinking about her and i just can't. still working on that self-reflection i see (#learningandgrowing2019)

  • and then we're left with a "tbc" when according to google there's only one episode left!--that can't be right, but if it is, i'm sure they'll be epic.



  • look at mtv knowing us so well



  • next week looks like the juiciest epsiode yet!



sources 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

lowkeymvp of the week doesn't go to paige becaue she was actually a focal point of this week's episode so it goes to our second favorite underappreciated cast member, danny for being the one to do all of the calculations of permutations for most likely beams and being sweet and cute and awesome (and tall)

how are you feeling about last night's episode? do you think jasmine will tie fire to nour's ass or that producers will intervene to keep that from happening? are you excited for kai's fuckboi intervention?
Tags: discussion, lgbtq film / media, reality show - mtv, television
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