'Red Table Talk' Discuss The Effects of Porn on Relationships - Oh No They Didn't! — LiveJournal

May 22nd, 2019, 10:17 am

sweet_heloise

'Red Table Talk' Discuss The Effects of Porn on Relationships

Jada says she had an unhealthy relationship with porn back when she was abstaining from men.

Willow urges her mom and grandma not to stigmatize porn, "You know, people are already having problems with it so if we stigmatize it, it makes it more shameful and it makes it so that people don’t want to talk about it and then don’t heal."

Willow admits to watching porn at “around 11” with her friends on Tumblr.

They talk to a married couple where the husband had a porn addiction.

Tagged: facebook, willow / jaden smith

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I actually watch porn (occasionally) but my husband doesn’t. We don’t really talk about it so it doesn’t effect my relationship

Same. I watch porn maybe once a month and he doesn't watch it at all.

Same here

At first when I saw that she started watching porn at 11, I was shook. Then I realized I was 11 when I started watching it too.

Lol SAME

LMAO same

lol yeah I think my first porn was two girls one cup waaaaay back on my brothers computer. Scarred for life, I tell you

I’m an idiot bc I thought she meant at around 11 at night.

me tooooooo

Omg same lol

xD

Cackling lmaoooooo

Same sis, same.

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erasethisworld Expand

I was around 13.

Same. lol I remember watching Red Shoe Diaries. 👀

Same oop

idk why this is so funny

Lmao same

lmao i think i was like 9 or 10, my friend and I found a VHS under her dad's bed called 'Sandy Insatiable' and watched it in my room really late at night

I was about that age too. I think I might have been 12 or 13 and I ordered a porno on the TV lmao. My mom was like: what the hell? Where did this come from? :O

lol right. i imagine tumblr just made it easier.

I hate porn. I've fully stopped watching it for a year now. Previously I was an occasional porn watcher. Fully scares me that young boys are being brought up on fake ass porn that is riddled with unrealistic, toxic bullshit.

Fully scares me that young boys are being brought up on fake ass porn that is riddled with unrealistic, toxic bullshit.

This same thing hit me last year and made me stop cold turkey.

Me too. It makes me sick.

i like a lot of the porn that's couples uploading a lot of their own content though it's weird to think their friends/family likely know about it!

I was 12....I don’t watch anymore tbh.

I've only seen porn through gifs and that's just unintentionally. Fake movie sex scenes, fanfic smut and my imagination are enough for me.

I've never watched porn.

i've definitely noticed a difference in sexual expectations from women in men who watch porn regularly and men who don't. it's awful

yeah, it scares me how much porn must shift expectations from sex irl, especially with all the gross shit you hear about.

For sure. And I wouldn't be surprised if it's a contributing factor to younger generations *having less sex. For girls especially it looks intimidating, painful, and scary.

Edited at 2019-05-22 06:43 pm (UTC)

porn is a huge addiction risk but people get hung up on the sex part. its just another easy stimulant that shuts your brain off for a blessed moment, and im scared for kids with their ever compiling anxieties. they have no coping system and parents wont talk about it cause sex.

Yea, I feel like some people don't even think porn addiction is a thing. I know people question sex addiction too, they think it's just an excuse men use when they cheat, which some men might but that doesn't mean it's not a real addiction.

def, anything you can use to get away from life can become an addiction - playing video games all the time is an addiction if you become less functional.

Back when VHS was a thing, I worked in a video store that had a porn room. Somehow I always got stuck with all porn related job activities--inventory of the room on Mondays, checking in the new shipment of porn vids every Wednesday, and every Sunday going through all the video tapes (including the porn ones) that people said were messed up and seeing if they could be fixed. Thusly I think I'm desensitized to porn videos because I associate it with doing the stupid tasks my dumb manager didn't want to.

My first job was working at a video store. We had a "black book" that had the porn titles in it. No 15 year old should have to handover a book to an older guy and then pick out their "movie." Thankfully it didn't happen often, but still.

Wow, I'm surprised they let you do that being so young! When I started working at this store, they had two locations and each had an open position. I had originally interviewed for the location near my house (which didn't have an adult room) but the other kid they hired wasn't 18 yet, so they asked if I would work at the store further away with the adult room (I was 21)for a few months until he turned 18 and then we'd switch stores because state law said he couldn't work at the store with the adult room until he turned 18. But in the end we didn't end up switching stores just because by then we were both used to the stores we were at.

Oh and if anyone ever rented porn and wondered if the clerks talked about you after you left. Yes. Yes we did. I still remember the dude who came in and rented 8 pornos on Christmas Eve and tried to tell me he was having the guys over for poker night. Uh-huh sure. We knew what you were doing, jingling your own bells that night lol!

Edited at 2019-05-22 07:35 pm (UTC)

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maggielizabeth Expand

Lol!
My friend’s dad had a locked closet in his office and we really wanted to know what was in there. It had porn tapes and candy locked inside...which we found out when we took off the hinges.
Anyway, the tapes were all from the 80s and one took place in an arcade.

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shannenb Expand

I never tried to get into porn. I know my husband watched it when he was younger, and probably still does occasionally, but never that I'm aware of and definitely not to the detriment of our sex life. Just doesn't seem sexy to me in any way.

I do enjoy reading smut, and I go through phases where I'm especially into it, but I don't think that has the same sort of negative side effects that watching porn does.

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Exactly...

This

this

Exactly

For sure.

This.

ia & was about to make a similar comment.

It's usually about pleasing the man (speaking about straight couple videos) & it's not over until the man is done... usually on the womans face. I need non patronizing porn that is made for women.

Yeah its definitely shifted from the women being looked at to them being used and dominated. I remember when straight guys in porn were still ugly, now they could star in gay porn. Its really weird. I also noticed how many men thing rough sex is good sex, like nah. What's sad is is that a lot of girls now think that's normal, I feel like that's why sex rates have dropped, it's not fun or romantic anymore.

yeah why are the guys in straight porn hot now? what happened? sometimes i even see the camera focus on their abs or dick.

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coeurtranquille Expand

That is because most straight porn is made by straight men who hate women.
Erika Lust is a porn director who has a really good catalog.

Mfte

Even the stuff that isn't "rough" still features some kind of humiliation of the women involved. It's fucking vile and I can't believe anyone thinks that shit is empowering.

Yeah. It’s very telling

same

I completely agree. I'm dating myself but the first porn I saw as a kid was rather innocent (it was shot in the 70s/early 80s, I suppose). The stuff I see on PornHub now is disgusting.

There are a number of videos I've reported on that site because I fully believe I am witnessing rape (and before someone says it's acting, I really don't think so; these are foreign amateur videos featuring people that definitely aren't acting). They have never been taken down.

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That's because they are. But if you try telling that to men they won't fucking hear it. They'll watch a woman go through the most painful acts and say "well she was moaning so she liked it" not recognizing that on her face clear as day she was in pain. The more painful it is, the louder they "moan" to mask a scream of genuine pain. They're doing it for money. Not pleasure. But again, men just won't think that deeply.

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This. But not even just straight porn tbh, I've seen disgusting video titles/thumbnails all across the rainbow that comes off as torture and the like and it's truly terrifying.
My partner and I used to watch porn but one day it hit me hard that there's no proof these women aren't being raped on camera or that once the cameras are off they're okay...at all. Especially with "freakout" videos, these creeps like to overshare. I don't and won't trust a man who likes porn. My partner stopped too after I brought a huge list of concerns forward and I am so glad.

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This

It honestly says a lot that there are "female friendly" categories on porn sites. Makes you wonder how disgusting and degrading the other videos are.

yep.

That's what I don't understand about kids today... so they can just access hardcore porn on their phone whenever they want? Do parents put restrictions on phones? Would that even work? I can't imagine being 12 and being able to stream hardcore porn on my phone whenever I want. It'll be interesting to see how this affects this current generation when they grow up.

That's basically how it's been for the past at least 15-20 years though. Basically since computers with internet access have been readily available. I know some parents used to put parental controls on their computers but kids have always been more tech savvy than old people so they knew how to circumvent them. I guess with phones, most parents have given up completely.

smartphones haven't been around for 15-20 years... when i was younger i had to watch on my family computer in the computer room, and then barely got access to a laptop. very different from having an iphone and being able to access it 24/7 within wahtever realm of privacy you can find

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totteringg Expand

There are parental controls but tbh every teen I’ve known for around them effortlessly

Yes, my teacher friends have told me horror stories. Middle/grade schoolers have no shame and are looking at porn on the bus and at school. Boys force girls to send them nudes and spread it around the entire school.

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honestly, you'd have to be really proficient and controlling to manage to keep everything at bay from a teen and lbr, most parents aren't. kids are miles ahead when it comes to the internet.

at this point porn is within such easy access that i believe the (hopefully) most effective way would be talking about it with teens, especially boys.

This is what scares me for the younger generations. A kid having access to unmonitored HD porn at their fingertips is so much different than typing “boobs” into google images back in 2005

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Parents can put restrictions but lbr most kids are more tech-savvy than their parents and can figure out ways around it, especially if they have their own phone or computer (which many preteens do nowadays). And even if they somehow can't get around the restrictions on their own phone/computer, chances are they have at least one friend whose parents aren't so on top of things.

The guys at my high school were trading porn on 31/2 floppies and CDs in the 2000s so i don't think it's a new think unfortunately

Showtime, HBO and Cinemax had the best action.

I mean we can just compare how many results you get on pornhub with “woman humiliated” compared to “woman pleasure” or woman grinding on top”. I think there aren’t any “woman pleasure” results actually. Almost all porn is toxic ijaf.

I mean there are 1853 results for “woman pleasure” on pornhub but go off

and how many are there for "woman humiliated"?

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jarellano89 Expand

Except most of those women arent actually experiencing pleasure, are fake moaning and dialating their vaginal muscles to simulate fake orgasms. Being prodded and penetrated with dangerous items both vaginally and anally, roughly with little to no lube which is one of the reasons females take copious amounts of drugs and muscle relaxers before doing a scene so it doesnt hurt as much. And racking up thousands of dollars in medical bills after a scene because they have fissures and tears, especially anally that have to be surgically or medically taken care of, unless you just want to risk infections and prolapses. All while pretending to have 10 minute long "orgasms" strictly to build the confidence of males who think if you're moaning, even if its in pain, they're some sort of big shot who has power over you. Because that is what "woman pleasure" means in porn. But go off.

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lol that’s not very many results considering how much porn is on pornhub but go off

I was really into porn in my mid/late teens when James Deen was THE guy. Then he turned out to be trash and I was already kinda picky when it came to videos I actually enjoyed so I kinda tapered off. The really well done stuff is few and far between and amateur stuff weirds me out for some reason.

who knows if it's real but James Deen used to say he wanted to be a porn actor from childhood, to the point that he gave that answer to his teacher in elementary school. What kind of fucked up life did he have that he even knew what that was at that age?

He fully sounds like a pyschopath

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elderpricely Expand

Yikes! Omg

I mean, I lost my virginity at age 12 and considered doing porn but nah. I'm glad I never followed through on it. I'd be more fucked up than I already am

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I remember some story he told about how in high school, he would have sex in front of everyone in the middle of parties to "practice" for his future porn star career. Such a fucked up person

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maggielizabeth Expand

my very first date at 13 was with this kid i went to middle school who in SIXTH grade said he wanted to be a pornstar when he grew up. i and everyone thought he was a weirdo and just wanted attention but he's a gay pornstar now so oop

much to think about

with amateur (and I don't mean those "verified amateurs" with HD cameras and the same partner(s) over and over), there's even less guarantee that all parties know about the video even existing, let alone going up on the internet. So much "revenge" porn gets thrown up as "amateur". FFS it happened to one of my friends :( (she didn't have a bike tho~)

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