ϟ ℓαυяα (certifieddork) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
ϟ ℓαυяα

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100 worst-reviewed films of all time

Whether they're "so bad they're good," or simply fascinating displays of ineptitude in filmmaking, there's a lot to be said for the pale, fleshy underbelly of the movies -- and we've said a lot here (the site's called Rotten Tomatoes, after all). Most of it's rather unkind, but no one really believes that stuff about saying something nice or saying nothing at all, right?

With the trusty Tomatometer as our guide, we've plowed through 100 of the rankest, foulest, most misbegotten movies to hit the multiplex in recent memory. But bad films can often be their own reward; whether you're looking for a howlingly bad time, or just looking for a list of what not to watch, ever, we're here to help.

We've got the worst of some of Hollywood's best (Robert DeNiro, Forest Whitaker, Halle Berry, and Diane Keaton all make appearances). We've got movies that were considered so toxic by studios that they weren't screened for critics ("Stay Alive," "Epic Movie"). We've got two "Baby Geniuses" and three Uwe Boll flicks. Heck, you know these movies must be bad if "Catwoman" ranks a lofty number 100. It's time to break out the stale popcorn and flat soda and tear into the Worst of the Worst!

100 - Catwoman
Halle Berry is the lone bright spot, but even she can't save this laughable action thriller.

99 - A Man Apart
Action and drama elements don't mix well in this clichéd actioner.

98 - Norbit
Though Eddie Murphy gives it his all, Norbit's material is crass and largely unfunny.

97 - Slackers
Another teen comedy with little on its mind but moving to the next gross-out gag, Slackers strains for laughs and features grating characters.

96 - Say It Isn't So
Those that haven't tired from Farrelly brothers' brand of comedy may still find some laughs here. Otherwise, the slow pacing and unimaginative shock gags will start to wear on the viewer.

95 - Taxi
Silly and unfunny remake of a French movie of the same name.

94 - I Dreamed of Africa
The straightforward retelling of Kuki Gallman's life in Africa neither moves or entertains the viewer.

93 - Juwanna Mann
With its tired premise, Juwanna Mann's jokes fall flat.

92 - First Daughter
First Daughter is a bland and charmless fairy tale that fails to rise above the formula.

91 - Urban Legends: Final Cut
This teen horror movie brings nothing new to an already exhausted genre. And it's bad. Really bad.

90 - Grind
Mediocre skateboard stunts are padded by a half- baked plot and one- dimensional characters.

89 - The Number 23
Clumsy, unengaging, and mostly confusing, The Number 23 fails as both a psychological thriller and a Jim Carrey career move.

88 - Elektra
This comic book movie is an inert muddle that takes itself much too seriously.

87 - White Noise
While there are some built- in scares, the movie is muddled and unsatisfying.

86 - Darkness Falls
A derivative movie where the scares are few and things don't make much sense.

85 - Gods and Generals
Filled with two-dimensional characters and pompous self-righteousness, Gods and Generals is a long, tedious sit. Some may also take offense at the pro-Confederate slant.

84 - Kangaroo Jack
The humor is gratingly dumb, and Kangaroo Jack contains too much violence and sexual innuendo for a family movie.

83 - Stealing Harvard
There are laughs Stealing Harvard, but they are few and far between. Tom Green's antics grow old fast.

82 - Premonition
An overly obtuse potboiler that borrows charmlessly from "Memento," "The Sixth Sense," and "Groundhog Day."

81 - A Sound of Thunder
Choppy logic and uneven performances are overshadowed by not-so-special effects that makes the suspension of disbelief a nearly impossible task.

80 - The Skulls
The Skulls is full of nonsense and empty of good script and plot.

79 - Underclassman
Despite the appealing presence of Nick Cannon, Underclassman is a shopworn Beverly Hills Cop/ 21 Jump Street knockoff.

78 - Man of the House
A high-concept movie that plays out like a mediocre TV sitcom.

77 - Venom
A voodoo horror flick without the mojo, Venom is chock full of gory impalings of interchangeable teenage girls and hunky guys by an unstoppable zombie whose unimaginative rampage quickly lulls us to sleep.

76 - My Boss' Daughter
Offensive, incoherent, and ineptly acted and directed.

75 - The Order
A religious thriller that's more lethargic and silly than thrilling.

74 - Gray Matters
Gray Matters tries emulating Hollywood screwball classics, but the rapid fire dialogue and witticisms comes off only as a contrived gimmick.

73 - See No Evil
See No Evil is packed with cliches from countless other teen slasher films, making for a predictable, scare-free waste of time.

72 - Out Cold
A party movie that substitutes surfs for snow, Out Cold will leave viewers just that with its gross-out humor and sophomoric plot.

71 - The Wash
Sloppily-made, amateurish, and scarce on laughs, The Wash can't compare to Richard Pryor's 1976 Car Wash.

70 - Basic Instinct 2
One of the least-anticipated sequels of recent years, Basic Instinct 2 is a movie that falls squarely into so-bad-it's-good territory -- or perhaps, so-bad-it's-still-pretty-bad. Fourteen years after wielding an icepick to memorable effect, trashy crime novelist Catherine Tramell is back to wreck [sic] havoc on mesmerized guys -- to much diminished returns. Only the sheer ludicrousness of the plot keeps this one from being a total washout.

69 - Dragonfly
A promising premise ruined by sap and absurdities.

68 - Surviving Christmas
Surviving Christmas is unpleasant characters attacking each other for 90 minutes before delivering a typical, hollow anti-consumerist message

67 - The New Guy
Incoherent, silly, and unoriginal, The New Guy offers up the same old teen gross-out comedy cliches.

66 - Lost Souls
Though Kaminski's film is visually stylish, Lost Souls is just another derivative entry in the Apocalypse genre, with lackluster direction, unengaging characters, and no scares.

65 - Boat Trip
Too stupid and groan-inducing to be funny.

64 - Date Movie
Memo to would-be parodists: referencing other movies is not the same as satirizing them. Once upon a time, when giants like Airplane! and Top Secret roamed the earth, filmmakers trafficking in the fine art of the spoof would bring a madcap energy to the proceedings; now, simply trotting out a guy in a 'don't vote for Pedro' t-shirt is supposed to leave audiences in stitches.

63 - Deck the Halls
A Christmas comedy with Matthew Broderick and Danny De Vito has to have some laughs, right? Unfortunately that's not the case. As far as movies about bickering neighbors during the Christmas holiday go, the predictable Deck the Halls is pretty mediocre, with hardy anything to cheer about. It doesn't help that both Broderick's and De Vito's characters are unsympathetic and the 'humor' is on the crude side for a PG movie. You won't see this one on any classic holiday movies list

62 - Chill Factor
Claiming it fails on every level, critics had almost nothing good to say about this movie.

61 - Ultraviolet
An incomprehensible and forgettable sci-fi thriller, Ultraviolet is inept in every regard.

60 - Undiscovered
Undiscovered, a film about aspiring actresses and musicians, lacks originality and a convincing plot.

59 - Jawbreaker
This throwaway comedy falls victim to its hip sensibilities.

58 - Stay Alive
A by-the-numbers teen horror flick, Stay Alive fails to exploit its premise for any real scares.

57 - I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Boring; predictable.

56 - Doogal
Overloaded with pop culture references, but lacking in compelling characters and plot, Doogal is too simpleminded even for the kiddies.

55 - Gigli
Bizarre and clumsily plotted, Gigli is a mess. As for its stars, Affleck and Lopez lack chemistry.

54 - Because I Said So
Because I Said So is an unfunny, cliche-ridden mess that manages to make Diane Keaton temporarily unlikable.

53 - Envy
Jack Black and Ben Stiller fail to wring laughs from a script that's essentially one extended poop joke.

52 - Yours, Mine, & Ours
The initial set-up is unbelievable, the plotting is predictable and stale, and the comedy depends on repetitive pratfalls that soon get old.\

51 - Johnson Family Vacation
A bland family-on-the-road comedy reminiscent of Chevy Chase's Vacation movies.

50 - Cheaper by the Dozen 2
A sequel to a remake, Cheaper 2 wastes its solid cast in scenes of over-the-top, predictable humor.

49 - Glitter
Glitter is a hodgepodge of movie cliches and bad acting that's sure to generate unintentional laughs. Unfortunately, the movie is not bad enough to be good.

48 - Summer Catch
Cliched and predictable, Summer Catch is a reminder of better films.

47 - The Adventures of Pluto Nash
The Adventures of Pluto Nash is neither adventurous nor funny.

46 - Exteme Ops
The various stunts in Extreme Ops don't compensate for the inane storyline and bad dialogue.

45 - The Foresaken
It's all been done before, and done better.

44 - Universal Soldier: The Return
This movie fails on almost every level from second rate action to bad acting and a formulaic story.

43 - Material Girls
As a film, Material Girls fails to live up to even the limited corporeal goals of its title.

42 - Yu-Gi-Oh: The Movie
Don't watch the TV show or play the card game? Then this movie is not for you.

41 - The Fog
The Fog is a so-so remake of a so-so movie, lacking scares, suspense or originality.

40 - Supercross: The Movie
While it provides some cool stunts, Supercross' plot is shopworn.

39 - Code Name: The Cleaner
The affable Cedric is wasted in Code Name: The Cleaner, a limp action/comedy flick which juggles between lame, worn-out jokes and cheesy kung-fu sequences.

38 - Big Momma's House 2
Unfunny and unoriginal. In other words, a perfect piece of evidence for opponents of pointless movie sequels.

37 - Swept Away
Muddled and lacking the political context of the original, Swept Away offers further proof that Madonna can't act.

36 - Corky Romano
Corky Romano continues the trend of bad movies featuring SNL members. The jokes are tired and unfunny, and the slapstick feels forced.

35 - Serving Sara
Neither funny nor very romantic, Serving Sara is a forgettable time waster.

34 - The Perfect Man
Preposterous and predictable.

33 - Texas Rangers
As far as westerns go, Texas Rangers is strictly mediocre stuff.

32 - BloodRayne
BloodRayne is an absurd sword-and-sorcery vid-game adaptation from schlock-maestro Uwe Boll, featuring a distinguished (and slumming) cast.

31 - Soul Survivors
Soul Survivors' stock characters and utter lack of suspense gives viewers little reason to attempt deciphering the confusing plot.

30 - Darkness
Yet another predictable variation on the hoary old haunted-house movie.

29 - The Mod Squad
A sodden, overly stylized mess that’s even less compelling than a TV episode.

28 - My Baby's Daddy
Full of poop jokes, broad racial stereotyping, and other tired gags.

27 - The In Crowd
The In Crowd fails to entertain because of its slow pacing, poor acting and unoriginality.

26 - House of the Dead
A grungy, disjointed, mostly brainless mess of a film.

25 - Down to You
Down to You is ruined by a bland, by-the-numbers plot and an awful script.

24 - Happily N'Ever After
Happily N'Ever After has none of the moxy, edge, or postmodern wit of the other fairy-tales-gone-haywire CG movie it so blatantly rips off.

23 - Fear Dot Com
Stylish, incoherent mess with few scares.

22 - Son of the Mask
Overly frantic, painfully unfunny, and sorely missing the presence of Jim Carrey.

21 - Bless the Child
Bless the Child doesn't scare, but may provoke unintended laughter from audiences. It's basically a B-movie.

20 - Rollerball
Removing the social critique of the original, this updated version of Rollerball is violent, confusing, and choppy. Klein makes for a bland hero.

19 - The Whole Ten Yards
A strained, laugh-free sequel.

18 - Christmas with the Kranks
A mirthless comedy as fresh as last year's fruit cake.

17 - Baby Geniuses
Flat direction and actors who look embarrassed to be onscreen make Baby Geniuses worse than the premise suggests.

16 - The Covenant
A fangless teen warlock pic, The Covenant takes the 'super' out of supernatural. Oh, and let's not forget the word "natural," since the film's stars may be good-looking, but their acting has been charitably described as 'wooden.' Add to that an absence of scares and pervasive homophobia, and you've got one of the year's worst.

15 - Deuces Wild
A forgettable effort that leaves no cliches unturned.

14 - Battlefield Earth
There are few, if any, redeeming qualities for Battlefield Earth. Critics are singing a near-unanimous rotten song.

13 - Epic Movie
A crude comedy with nothing new or insightful to say about the subjects it satirizes.

12 - Godsend
A murky thriller with few chills.

11 - Zoom
Lacking the punch and good cheer of The Incredibles and Sky High, Zoom is a dull and laugh-free affair.

10 - Half Past Dead
Seagal is now too bulky to make a convincing action hero, and Half Past Dead is too silly and incoherent to deliver any visceral kicks.

09 - The Master of Disguise
The Master of Disguise plays to Carvey's strength at mimicry. Unfortunately, the movie is more painful to watch than is funny.

08 - Twisted
Don't expect any mysteries or thrills in this poorly written thriller.

07 - National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
Aspires to Farrelly-level offensiveness, but the PG-13 rating renders Gold Diggers tame, toothless, and dull.

06 - Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Superbabies continues to prove that bad jokes still aren’t funny when coming out of a toddler’s mouth.

05 - King's Ransom
An utterly inept would-be comedy.

04 - Pinocchio (2002)
Torturous. Avoid it like the plague.

03 - Crossover
Like Shaquille O'Neal at the free-throw line, Crossover hit theaters with a resounding clang. Its tale of a promising basketball prospect who must choose between staying true to himself and giving in to the temptations of slimy agents and assorted hangers-on will seem blindingly original to anyone who hasn't seen Hoop Dreams, He Got Game, or heck, even Shaq's own Blue Chips. At zero percent on the Tomatomter, this heartfelt but incompetent picture is the cinematic equivalent of an airball.

02 - Alone in the Dark
Stylish, but inept on almost every level.

01 - Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
Wall-to-wall action without a hint of wit or plot.

Source: rottentomatoes.com

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