In a series of emails between the two in 2012 Louis C.K. pines for the chef Sarma Melngailis.
The chef emailed him on June 17 regarding a previous email outburst, stating that she was “upset and freaked out.”
Louis C.K. responded:
“hey. I understand you’re upset. This kind of shit is tough. I never swore that I was clean. I told you I may or may not have given this to you. I’m sorry if I did. If you gave it to me, it’s okay. We all share the current human bloodstream, which includes this kind of stuff. I should have worn a condom, you should have made me, we should have a lot of things. we are human. Our generation has this stuff. the next generation will all be inocculated and will have sex with electric glass penises and digital vaginas and they’ll get software viruses instead. It’s part of life. ”
CK tells Melngailis that he accepts his responsibility “for our chemistry and exchange,” and wonders whether anyone is “clean” nowadays.
“I’ve been told the same thing, that there’s no good tests for guys and even that condoms don’t stop shit. i don’t know. It’s a mess. I hope you’re okay. i think you will be. And I am sorry. …I still look back tenderly and happily on our time together. And that night. It was really wonderful, even though it never happened again and it seemed to be sort of a stopping point for us, unfortunately.”