Next week on Chicago Justice, the new boring ADA no one likes is accused of sexual assault (!!!), my bae Carisi lets us all down by saying they should give him "the benefit of the doubt"(!!!!!!!), and Benson arrests him (or does she?). Also, apparently, the ADA just might try his own case, because who needs guest stars? Frankly, I'm just surprised he's not arresting himself, booking himself, arraigning himself, prosecuting himself, convicting himself, and sentencing himself to a 10-year stint on Rikers, thus leading to the cancellation of SVU and the launch of his new starring vehicle and the latest L&O spinoff, Law & Order: Oz, in which Chris Meloni makes his triumphant return to the franchise, reprising his iconique character
Also, because all that wasn't enough, the Rollins drama no one cares about continues, as her douche baby daddy returns. How many fucks can I not give in 42 minutes? Let's find out next week!
ONTD, will Noah one day kill us all?