hotties_chicken (hotties_chicken) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Megan from Rock of Love and Charm School!

It’s Megan’s Birthday!


Take a break from politics and celebrate Queen Megan of VH1's reality shows Rock of Love, Charm School, I Love Money, and Megan Wants A Millionaire.

Megan Hauserman born on November 5 in the year of our lord, 1981. Hard to believe that this queen was born 36 years ago. Let's revisit her best moments. (Lots of gifs, so 3 cuts to save ur browser.)

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Megan was born in Boca Raton, Florida, and grew up in Chicago. She attended the University of Illinois at Chicago, graduating with a degree in accounting. Clearly, this legend had her eye on the money, even in college.

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After college, she started posing for bikini, lingerie and nude shoots. She dreamed of being in Playboy since sixth grade. In 2006, she was named Playboy’s Playboy Cyber Girl of the Week.


She spent time bouncing around the modeling/club scene, being a sort of professional hot girl.


Her big break came when she was cast on the WB’s Beauty and the Geek 3, where hot girls team up with nerdy guys to win money. She and her partner won. Megan used her $125,000 to go to Disneyland, get her hair done, and pay her mortgage.


2008 is the year that changed everything. Megan saw an ad on Craigslist for a VH1 open casting call, and the world would never be the same.

"I had just seen an ad on Craigslist and I went to an open call in Chicago at a restaurant in which the casting people were traveling all over the country and accepting videos from all over the world. And they picked me out of thousands of applicants.”

The Megan we know and love was born: On Season 2 of Rock of Love.


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She is known for her brilliant quotes.


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She later claimed that she didn’t care about Bret.

“I got that whole has-been, old, ugly man-thing out of my system, and I’m ready for a real relationship.”

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Megan got engaged to some rich guy in Florida—she even picked out a wedding bikini—but they broke up.

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Queen Megan’s true love is money. In 2008, she went on the first season of VH1’s I Love Money.


At first, the entire cast underestimate her as a dumb blonde. But she used her brain to manipulate the entire cast, landing in the final 3. She dropped out of the competition when she found out that the eliminated contestants would come back to judge her.

Soon after, she made her iconique appearance on Rock of Love: Charm School.

She refused to put on clothes and wore only bikinis.

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She dressed her dog up like a baby.

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She announced that she wanted to be a trophy wife.

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Ultimately, she was expelled for cheating and for trying to kick a girl while holding her chihuahua.

Then, on the reunion show, something terrible happened. An evil witch named Sharon Osbourne ATTACKED poor Megan by throwing wine on her and (allegedly) pulling her hair.

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Security guards escort Megan offstage

Megan’s scalp after the alleged hair-pulling.

Somehow, Megan survived this terrifying ordeal. To reward her courage (and prevent her from suing), VH1 gave her her own dating show: Megan Wants A Millionaire.

Megan insisted that money was not important to her, and she just wanted “a guy who could handle me and wouldn’t cry.”


However, this show would be yanked from the air after three episodes because contestant Ryan Jenkins murdered his girlfriend, Jasmine Fiore, then committed suicide in a hotel room.
The crime put an end to a golden age of reality TV, of which Megan was a shining star.


In April 2010, she was arrested for DUI… while driving to a strip club.


Fortunately, Megan did not let her trauma affect her life. Megan is one of the few contestants who had both beauty and brains. She leveraged an entire career out of her reality appearances, appearing on shows like The Great Debate, Playboy TV’s BadAss, True Crime with Aphrodite Jones, The E! True Hollywood Story, American Greed, and Sexiest Women of Reality TV.

Megan always found some way to stay in front of a camera and make money.

She appeared with Siegfried & Roy in Las Vegas at their dolphin show.


She made Halloween-themed club appearances.


She charged $800 for a few hours of guest-bartending.

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She sold pieces of her used bikinis.


She manipulated old men for money.


She took pictures of herself with a passed-out Derek Jeter and sold them to tabloids.


She entered her chihuahua in a “smallest dog” contest… and won.


She even modeled for a guitar magazine, and she doesn’t even play guitar.


In 2014 she married pro golfer Derren Garber and had a son, Darren Jr. Together, they run a diesel fuel delivery business. They live in Boca Raton, Florida. In addition, she works with several cancer charities and animal charities.


Fun fact: Megan is Jewish.

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This is what she looks like now.



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Tags: 2000s, nobody, reality show - vh1, television - vh1, where are they now, who asked for this
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