Lemmons (evillemmons) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

ONTD ORIGINAL: Funniest Lines from Infinity War


Infinity War was a big emotional ride that would have been kinda depressing if it weren't for the one-liners delivered by our heroes in-between all
the drama and fighting. Here are some of the funniest lines from Infinity War:

Peter Quill: I'm gonna ask you this one time: where is Gamora?
Tony Stark: Yeah, I'll do you one better. *Who* is Gamora?
Drax: I'll do *you* one better. *Why* is Gamora?

Every time Thor called Rocket a rabbit

Peter Parker: [points to Drax and Mantis] What exactly is it that they do?
Mantis: Kick names, take ass.

Thor: Oh, by the way, this is my friend Tree
Groot: I am GROOT!
Steve: I am Steve Rogers.

Eitri: You're about to take the full power of a star. It will kill you.
Thor: Only if I die.
Eitri: Which is what being killed... is.

Peter Quill: How is this dude still alive?
Drax: He's not a dude. You're a dude. This is a MAN. A handsome, muscular man.
Gamora: It's like his muscles are made of Chitauri metal fibers...
Peter Quill: Stop massaging his muscles!

Rocket: This is Thanos we're talking about. He's the toughest there is
Thor: Well, he has never fought me.
Rocket: Yeah, he has.
Thor: He has never fought me TWICE!

Drax: I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still... that I become invisible to the eye... Watch.
[slowing starts moving his hand]
Peter Quill: You're eating a Zagnut.
Drax: My movement... is so slow... that it's imperceptible.
Peter Quill: Mmm, no.
Drax: I'm sure I'm invisible.
Mantis: Hi, Drax.
Drax: [after a pause] Dammit.

Tony Stark: You're embarrassing me in front of the wizard!!!!!!!

Ebony Maw: Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.
Tony Stark: Yeah, but the kid's seen more movies.
[Spider-Man throws Ebony Maw into space]

Peter Parker: [sees Mantis] Whoa, whoa, whoa, please don't put your eggs in me!

[Rocket gives Thor a cybernetic eye]
Rocket: Uh, you may have to clean it, I stuck it up my ass...

Tony Stark: Don't encourage Flash Gordon.
Peter Quill: Flash Gordon? That's a compliment. Don't forget, I'm half human. So that 50% of me that's stupid that's 100% you.

Dr. Stephen Strange: [realizing both teams are against Thanos] Ok, let me ask you this, one time: What master do you serve?
Peter Quill: Oh, what master do I serve? What am I supposed to say, Jesus?

Ebony Maw: Hear me, and rejoice! You are about to die at the hands of the children of Thanos. Be thankful, that your meaningless lives are now contributing to...
Tony Stark: I'm sorry earth is closed today, you better pack it up and get out of here!
Ebony Maw: Stone keeper, does this chattering animal speak for you?
Dr. Stephen Strange: Certainly not I speak for myself!
[Creates Hand Shields]
Dr. Stephen Strange: Your trespassing in this city and on this planet.
Tony Stark: It means get lost Squidward!

Steve Rogers: [to Thor] New haircut?
Thor: Looks like you've copied my beard
Peter Parker: Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something and I eat one of you, I'm sorry.
Tony Stark: I don't want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand?

Rocket: You speak Groot?
Thor: They taught it on Asgard. It was an elective.

[Wong saves Stark]
Tony Stark: Wong, you're invited to my wedding.

Okoye: When you said you were going to open Wakanda to the rest of the world, this is not what I imagined.
T'Challa: What did you imagine?
Okoye: The Olympics, maybe even a Starbucks.

Tony Stark: If Thanos needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down a garbage disposal?
Dr. Stephen Strange: No can do.
Wong: We swore an oath to protect the time stone with our lives.
Tony Stark: And I swore off dairy, but then Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me. So...
Dr. Stephen Strange: Stark Raving Hazelnuts.
Tony Stark: Not bad.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Bit chalky.

Peter Quill: Let's talk about this plan of yours. I think it's good, except it sucks. So let me do the plan, and that way, it might be really good.

Thor: "Families can be tough. Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister that he imprisoned in hell. Then she returned home and stabbed me in the eye. So I had to kill her. I feel your pain. "

What are your favorite lines from this movie? Post gifs! What are your favorite theories for the next movie?

source: my memory + IMDB
Tags: benedict cumberbatch, black celebrities, chadwick boseman, chris evans, chris hemsworth, chris pratt, discussion, fandom / stan culture, marvel, ontd original, robert downey jr., spoilers, the avengers, zoe saldana

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