This is Part 10 of Lainey Blind Items Revealed. Lainey Gossip is a Canadian gossip blogger and entertainment insider who likes to write blind items on her website about celebrities. A blind item is a piece of gossip too raw for a journalist to publish without getting in legal trouble or revealing their source, so they write it as a riddle that you have to guess. Lainey has also dropped subtle clues about each riddle on her blog, revealing many of her blinds.
Check out part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
This is the last in the series!
ONE MORE COUPLE TO MOURN
"Nothing to laugh about here -- this one we will all be sad about. All of us. Because it’s almost over for them. After rising together and stabilising together and conveniently finding a home together, where you’d think work would be so much easier, and having the babies too, they’re close to formally ending it, and there may be an announcement soon...which, well, if you look at him it doesn’t seem to have affected him physically. Everyone says he really cares about his appearance these days, more than ever, and is looking hotter than ever. Or, as one person put it, “hot all of a sudden”. Emotionally too he hasn’t let on that there’s anything wrong. For what it’s worth, I’m told there was no third party involvement. Perhaps that means it’s amicable, just the end of their story. Perhaps we’ll be more choked about it than they are. As I drench my waffles in more maple syrup."
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett
BECAUSE HE IGNORES HER
"Another week, another riddle involving a coke fiend. Everyone does it, but it's not the doing that's intriguing, it's the who's doing that's intriguing. Especially since her reputation is supposed to be so civilised and enlightened: a doting mother, a successful business, an artist (debatable), and an icon to many a MiniVan member. ironic as it may seem considering the original spirit of the inspiration.
The situation is actually even more shocking considering her past. Having had that kind of experience with addiction though, perhaps there are only 2 roads: to shun drugs fiercely or, as it is in this case, to embrace them dangerously in her time of need.
It's not just genes that keep her so thin.
Turns out it's a habit that's making her very sick. Friends and family are becoming concerned. They're saying "she's not doing well", observing that her use has dramatically escalated, that she is becoming increasingly anti-social and withdrawn, removed out of embarrassment from her usual circle, and when forced out in public, looking awkward and seemingly unable to cope in social settings where she was once comfortable.
It's not those laughable rumours of infidelity. It's actually because he ignores her. Never the child, but always her. Not deliberately but because she has no part in his life. It used to be he'd show up for the professional events, at the very least. Now she has to beg. And then it's only a maybe. He's not spiteful about it, he just doesn't care. Even on the forced holiday he could barely bother to acknowledge her and when they came home, he couldn't wait to get away.
So she retreats and she escapes and he still doesn't notice. When confronted about it by close confidantes, he insists there's not a problem. And he probably truly believes that, completely oblivious is he to her problems.
As such, her team is desperately trying to get her some new work, something else to focus on instead of moping around at home weighed down by disappointment.
Artistically though, it may be bad news. Forcing a project on the heels of something already forced is probably just going to lead to more shit.
Having said that, if it saves her, in the end, I guess that's what friends would do."
Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick
Reveal, Reveal 2, Reveal 3, Reveal 4
WHO WOULD WANT TO WORK WITH THIS?
"She’s long had a reputation for being absolute hell to work with. I mean like straight up crazy. Leaves her sh-t, sometimes literally, everywhere, specifies exact times when people can or cannot talk to her, is foaming at the mouth insane one minute, calm and collected the next. Lately her opportunities have dried up. And this is a good example of why.
Press junket. A handler has to make sure she wakes up in the morning. Because she’s not a proper adult? She finds her completely out of it. Has to put her in the shower and HOLD HER UP. Picture that please. A grown woman having to be physically SUPPORTED in the shower to make sure she can go and do her JOB. She then had to be spoon fed her breakfast. And she had to be dressed. Like, let’s put on your socks! Finally they get her to the point where she can be seen in public. A journalist is soon expected for an interview. Through it all she’s still a f-cking zombie.
Soon as the reporter comes into the room though, a switch goes off. She’s alive. She’s engaging. She can speak in proper sentences. And you can imagine, for the people who’ve experienced this, who’ve had to work with her, who have to manage the unpredictability of this, how scary it must be, how utterly unsettling, even more unsettling than most of her peers. And in her business, that’s a pretty high standard."
ABUSING THE HELP
"Her husband would be shocked to learn how she behaves when he’s not home. Because on the outside, she is “supposedly” erudite, and classy, and goes on about being well mannered and respectful, but when she’s alone, without the eyes and ears of an audience, in the presence of only her household employees, this not so ladylike lady is a slob of the worst kind. But even more than this – she is mean, she is rude, and she treats people badly.
If the staff is making too much noise cleaning and dusting or simply cooking for her highness – she thunders down the stairs and puts her finger between the eyes of the offender, threatening termination of employment and a horrible referral. When she’s going through a “fat” day, it is pure mayhem. The breakfast tray that’s delivered to her in the morning gets smashed to the ground and if there are resulting stains from her tantrum, the blame falls on the help.
As awful as this sounds, it’s actually rather pedestrian when you consider what it’s like to work for the rich and the famous. Up to now, it’s been bearable. And then she crossed the line. She likes to smoke, you see. Especially when she’s on the phone. But she hates smoking outside. And she also can’t stay still. So she came up with the following brilliant request: every time she lit up, a staff person was required to follow her around, catching the ashes as she randomly flicked them about the house. Given that this happens several times a day, the other work was getting neglected. And the poor employee was forced to stay late. With no extra pay. I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to learn that the staffer quit after a couple of weeks of this kind of abuse. And rightly so. Why does being cheap and badly behaved always go hand in hand???"
MORE AMUSING AND ABUSING
"So you already know that she's a legendary slob. And you know about her outrageous housekeeping demands. But it seems our sadistic mistress also has some self image issues. What's new, right? The only problem is, sometimes she can't wait to get to the bathroom before purging her binge. When it's one of those days, the poor staffers can do nothing else but clean up a messy trail all around the house. And dealing with her hysterics doesn't help either. But then again, it is certainly a sight to behold when she pulls it all together in time for the arrival of her husband. Oh, if he only knew…"
DISRESPECTING YOUR ELDERS
"Huge egos are not rare in showbiz. But few egos are bigger than his. Perhaps the personal and professional victories are starting to swell his head. Whatever the case, his behaviour is starting to raise eyebrows.
At an industry event last week, major players in attendance, old and new, veterans of the game and newcomers too, he was given a gift, presented to him by a recognized and very well respected elder in the business. It was supposed to be an honour, a guitar pick used by a living legend. But instead of treasuring it like anyone else would have, would you believe he flicked it on the ground and crushed it beneath his shoe??? The room was shocked into stillness. No wonder people find it so hard to believe he’s turned a new leaf. Clearly, he hasn’t."
THE NON-MARITAL BED
"What is emotional cheating anyway? Is it considered emotional cheating when you can't throw away the bed you used to share with the love of your life - the one you DIDN'T marry? Is it emotional cheating when you keep a custom made 4 poster extra King locked in storage and cannot bear to give it away? Is it emotional cheating to hang on such things but sleep next to another? Is it emotional cheating to go on a rip roaring rage upon discovering that the ex has moved on? With marriage prospects of her own? To fall into a funk, despite the carefully choreographed photo opps of the warring women in your life?"
A TALE OF TWO GROOMS
"Groom #1 was recently married, publicly devoted, demons supposedly tucked away, and yet was seen driving his unmistakeable vehicle into a hotel parking lot the other day. A hotel parking lot in his home town, where his home is just a few minutes away, and his wife was occupied in another state. There was no business meeting scheduled, there was no professional reason to be there - and yet and yet. Whoever could he have been up to?
Then there's the friend, Groom #2, also recently wed, also known for hard core hittin', the two shared one memorable evening just one year ago, even after #1 was claimed off the market. It was an evening involving multiple young ladies, a pool, naked swimming, a Hummer, and a long night of down home loving. Two seasoned horndogs feeding off each other and off Jim Beam, living the debaucherous life - it was a night to remember and perhaps the reason why #2's new wife curtailed their celebrations, wary of what might happen should her husband be tempted by the high times of the past.
Can these two grooms be tamed? The second perhaps. But the first? No one thinks no. No one at all."
Groom #1 is Keith Urban and Groom #2 is Kid Rock
Reveal, Reveal 2
THE BELLE FROM HELL
"Now here's a bitch who needs a slap to Sunday.
Sure, she's rich. But in a town that only celebrates your recent success, what gives her the right to throw her shit around? Especially when the glory decade has long since wrapped?
A while back, when she had reason to self celebrate, she came home to inform her hardworking personal chef that she had invited several guests over for dinner. With only just a few hours lead, the employee was required to whip up something elegant and delicious, something she accomplished in spades. Hoping for a word of encouragement or at least an expression of gratitude, the unfortunate minion greeted her boss the next day, asking her how things went, how she was feeling. And this is what she got in return:
'I really wish you wouldn't talk to me', followed by heavy footsteps out of the kitchen.
Cut to present day, and apparently the assy manners are still intact.
She's scheduled for a promotional product appearance and a driver is sent to pick her up. She gets in the car, he gets her settled, and politely asks her how she's finding everything, if she's comfortable, how she's enjoying the weather. And you know what she said?
'What gives you the idea that I want you to talk to me'. Cue very loud exhale and the silent treatment the rest of the way.
Now I know this shouldn't be shocking considering the clientele we're dealing with but when you're brought up to exude charm and grace, how is this anywhere near acceptable? And you wonder why snarky celebrity gossip blogs are popping up all over the place???"
Reveal, Reveal 2, Reveal 3
BIG SUPER SECRET HOOKUP
"There’s a reason she recently decided to flaunt her brand new relationship so publicly. Suddenly she’d found true love behind the scenes? And they were telling magazines about it? And getting papped on holiday in Europe? It was because she was sending a message.
To the major Hollywood player with whom she’d been having an affair for 6 months. Only, at the time, he had a girlfriend. They were dealing with each other undercover. She would travel to see him while he was shooting on location overseas. No one, none of us, picked up on the fact that she showed up in the same city. He was sleeping with both the official girlfriend and the side job and telling the side job that he’d break up with the official one and make her the bonafide but, really, the side job, to him, was just a good f-ck and not a proper escort at the kinds of functions he usually needs an escort for. She continued to pressure him though and when he refused her demands, she showed up with a new man, jammed it in his face – and ours – and very shortly afterwards, he formally ended it with his gf, with a generous send-off.
Now? Impasse. She’s enjoying her summer hookup. And he’s all like, ok, I’m available, you can come to me, or don’t. It’s not like he can’t find a replacement, like, right away. Any woman becomes an instant star as soon as he takes her out. Given that she’s already a star, on a smaller scale, their reveal, should they figure out their situation, would be great for gossip though it could overshadow his work. And he has a lot of it coming up."
George Clooney and Eva Longoria
Reveal 1, Reveal 2, Reveal 3
A NEW LOW & A LOWER LOW
"Man, does this girl ever have her share of skeletons. We’re going back a little while but I guess some things never change. And it’s especially shocking considering that she doesn’t exactly have to beg for professional attention.
On the set. She’s lonely. She’s desperate. She’s had a bad day of shooting. She needs a pick me up. A certain married crew member has caught her eye. And he has shunned her every attempt at flirtation, even though the Mrs. is far, far away. On this occasion however, the actress was particularly persuasive. And if you are prudish – you do NOT want to read the next part. Consider yourself warned.
Come on, she said, you don’t have to touch me. Just let me go down on you, baby. Please. Please let me just taste you. Shocker of shockers - Can you believe he turned her away???
You’d assume she’d have the married man fired for his rejection…right? Well actually, she didn’t. It intrigued her, it only increased her fancy. And so she continued to proposition him with more and more outrageous offers. Now here’s the one that almost broke him – CAUTION NOT FOR THE PRUDISH. I have a friend, she said. A girl friend. She’ll come with me and you can have us both. From any direction.
I’m not going to lie, gossips. He was very, very tempted. But since he was already gettin’ it pretty good from a cute little blonde extra without the baggage, he actually passed. The star was apparently unfazed. She didn’t hold a grudge and she wasn’t upset. But she persisted, every single day, until the end of the shoot."
Reveal, Reveal 2, Reveal 3
"There are 2 subjects to this riddle. Both are famous, one more so than the other, and both are actors. One is recognized for award winning prestige projects. The other – umm….not so much. But he does have brawn. And while I don’t appreciate the shoot ‘em up, beat ‘em up genre, there is certainly a market for it. Unfortunately for his legion of female admirers, he prefers sex of the homo variety. And he’s looking for a boyfriend.
For his part, the true thespian has battled gay suspicions for years. I’ve heard it incessantly but I can’t confirm it. Oddly enough, no one in Hollywood knows for sure either. So it’s no surprise that his less talented counterpart decided to hit on him one night recently at a party. And my man came on STRONG. Bad move. Too many people around and not the right approach. He was completely rebuffed. With a room full of witnesses. And it gets worse. The next day, one publicist called the other and issued a stern warning and they also came to an agreement to make sure their clients never cross paths again. And since one dude is clearly more connected than the other, I can assure you that Mr B list was rebuked and ridiculed around town so much that he had to lay low for a while before venturing out in public once again."
Jean-Claude Van Damme hit on Leonardo DiCaprio
Reveal 1, Reveal 2
BESTIES IN BED
"They’re best friends and they say best friends only…
But they sleep in the same bed when they’re on holiday."
Oprah and Gayle
*Here are a few that I left out for being boring/obvious/really old:
Paris Hilton had Botox injections in her nipples to make them poke out in pictures.
Julia Stiles has fooled around with girls.
Billy Crudup eventually got bored of Claire Danes and after they cheated and he dumped her.
Chace Crawford hooks up with guys.
Ten years ago Liv Tyler and Drew Barrymore went into rehab for drugs.
Nicholas Cage is an asshole.
P. Diddy is an asshole.
Salma Hayek is an asshole.
Patrick Dempsey would let a male producer blow him in exchange for roles.
Deborah Messing couldn't get pregnant because of her drug use and low weight.
Sienna Miller used to do a ton of cocaine.
Keira Knightley would do coke with Rupert Friend.
Hilary Duff's husband cheated on her.
Brendan Fraser was a douchebag druggie.
I think that's all until Lainey reveals more blinds!
Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Reveal, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source, Source