ONTD ORIGINAL: Lainey Blind Items Revealed, Part ~5~

ONTD_Original_5

Hey ONTD fam,

Here is the fifth installment of blind items, revealed!

Blind items are pieces of gossip that a journalist can't legally reveal outright. Instead, it's written as a riddle and revealed in a subtle way through clues. Lainey Gossip is a Canadian gossip site with excellent, piping hot tea that she spills in her blind items.

If you missed them, check out or revisit Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Ph. D in C

“WARNING: graphic, lewd details to follow. If you're prudish in the least - you better skip this one. Consider yourself cautioned.
He is a classic bad boy. Not the best looker in town but there's something about him, you know? His acting talent is well known but it turns out there are other reasons why he is always surrounded by lovely ladies. Apparently his tongue has a never ending battery that's programmed to pleasure all night long and his special request is to have 2 or 3 targets at a time. We are talking hours and hours and hours gossips. And now you know the secret to his success.”

Benicio del Toro



SHE TRUMPS LIFE OR DEATH

“Classic story of celebrity entitlement. And she’s supposed to be so professional and sweet, not nearly as many diva stories about her than about her peers, though if you’re getting in the way of her meal, and her Maybach, you better move the f-ck out, even if you’re an old woman in an emergency situation.

It was two blocks from the Waverly. An elderly woman – 84 years old – went into heart failure. The paramedic arrived immediately and tried to stabilise her before moving her to the hospital. It became a traffic clusterf-ck so the cops had to redirect vehicles over to the next block because the ambulance was waiting for the patient.

A black Maybach approaches, disregards the police instruction, and drives towards the ambulance. An officer stops the car and tells the driver to reroute:

Driver: We're going to the Waverly Inn.

Officer: We have an emergency situation and everyone has to re-route to the next block over - just go one block around.

(Moaning and groaning and whining was heard from the female passenger in the back seat).

Driver: Isn't there any way we could get through?

Officer: Sir, this is an emergency vehicle, we have an emergency situation - EVERYone must re-route. You'll have to go around the block.

And then an imperious (female) voice pipes up from the back of the Maybach..

"Well can't they just move the ambulance?"

The officer is incredulous. Then annoyed. And then he gives it to her, informing our star that "LIFE OR DEATH situations dictate traffic decisions - not anything or ANYONE else. You must re-route now."

She grudgingly told her driver to find another way, inconvenienced that a senior citizen had to choose her mealtime to have a heart attack. The nerve.”

Beyonce
Blind.
Receipts, receipts, more receipts.


HE TURNED OUT TO BE THE CLICHE

“He was the one we trusted who can’t actually be trusted. He used to be my answer to the question - is there anyone in Hollywood who DOESN’T cheat? Yes, I’d say, and excitedly too! Art does not imitate life! He’s faithful!

Well, no. He isn’t.

He hits on the young funny pretty ones at parties. Very typical behaviour - he loosens up with a few drinks and he turns into a pig; two of his more famous targets, both under 30, turned him down. He did however spend a few nights with a frequent co-star, over 30. They’ve worked together on major and minor projects. As for his long suffering partner? The woman we thought was the love of his life? Well, sometimes when he gets drunk and smears himself all over other ladies, she’s actually right there. She turns away. She pretends she doesn’t see. Which... kind of explains why she looks the way she does.

That said, it is a partnership. It’s not like she’s getting nothing out of it. He has used his influence to help her, certainly. Perhaps she’s decided it’s worth it.

An actor cheating on his partner is nothing new and doesn’t make for the most intriguing blind, sure. But like I said earlier, he was the one who was supposed to not be like the others. He’s the one who’s enjoyed almost unanimous popularity. And he turned out to be the cliché. I was surprised about this one. And very, very disappointed.”

Jon Hamm
Blind, reveal.


Ph. D in C

“WARNING: graphic, lewd details to follow. If you're prudish in the least - you better skip this one. Consider yourself cautioned.
He is a classic bad boy. Not the best looker in town but there's something about him, you know? His acting talent is well known but it turns out there are other reasons why he is always surrounded by lovely ladies. Apparently his tongue has a never ending battery that's programmed to pleasure all night long and his special request is to have 2 or 3 targets at a time. We are talking hours and hours and hours gossips. And now you know the secret to his success.”

Benicio del Toro


Ph. D in C, Part Deux

“PRUDES – Step off. I’m warning you. It’s more of the same lewdness…
So you know already that he loves to do his work downtown. Naturally, he expects his office to be well kept, low on clutter, and certainly free of irritating allergens. On one occasion, he discovered that one of his partners wasn’t as well weeded as he would have liked. So, being the patient gentleman that he is, he offered to help her out. They went into the shower and he actually did the trimming himself and, of course, he got off on that too.
Here are your last two hints: elevator and Oscar.”

Benicio del Toro. I wonder if he's the mystery guy from Alia Shawkat's story.
Blind 1, Blind 2
Reveal 1, 2, 3


JUST AS SHE IS

“Some men are perfect.

And many find this man perfect. Dashing, debonair, scandal-free, which is why some of late have been questioning his devotion to his wife, baffled by the attraction. Still… he remains happily married and committed, he loves her just as she is, but it turns out, what she is is a girl who likes other girls. With his permission.

A classic marriage of convenience... their commitment runs deep, they care for each other dearly, but they just don’t sleep in the same bed. As for his preferences – oddly enough, he doesn’t seem to have any. The easy assumption would be that he’s meanders about like John Travolta at a massage parlour, which isn’t the case. Not even close. No affairs, no gay hook ups, nothing. Just happy that his wife is happy… true love indeed.”

Pierce Brosnan and his wife, Keely Shaye Smith
Blind
Reveal
Reveal 2


GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND

"Celebrities don’t always have it easy, you know. As is the case with Britney Spears, a competent assistant is a valuable commodity, especially one who won’t sell you out and will still pick up your dirty undies.

But picking up panties is one thing… picking up your drugs is another matter entirely. What’s a highly regarded actor to do when he can’t pay someone to pick up his drugs??? Especially when he has such a voracious appetite?

Given recent events, you’d think he’d know better… and while I can certainly sympathise with a serious addict, how can you sympathise with someone who would rather compromise an employee than risk getting caught?

At least own your own sh*t, you know?

But it’s all about the image isn’t it? He is an acclaimed artist, who is involved and informed and aware, idolised by some for his impish good looks – a selfish junkie isn’t usually what comes to mind. Those in the industry however have surely seen him openly spread his blow all over the dinner table, at any given party, and put half of it into his brain. So brazen is he that he used to carry his stash on his body while travelling, tucked into a coat pocket, cavalierly going through security.

Over the last three months or so however he’s suddenly become a lot more paranoid. And so the task of transporting his happy across borders has rested on his personal assistants. It took her three carries before she finally put her foot down and refused. And got fired for it. The girl who took her place made it only once before quitting herself.

He’s still looking for a replacement.

Substance abuse is one thing. Allowing someone else to take the fall for your addiction is another. Selfish prick."

Gael Garcia Bernal
Blind
Reveal


CASTING COUCH

“It was mystifying several years ago why she was hyped the way she was hyped. Just another starlet with no real significant starring vehicles somehow ending up with a prestigious magazine cover proclaiming her as the next It. Well It never happened. And after all this time and a string of failures, she’s been trying to change the course. So she’s gone back to the major player who tried to make it happen for her the first time. There was an arrangement back then – her sexual services for his professional services – and apparently the same arrangement was resurrected recently in the hopes that she’ll finally confirm a juicy role to kickstart a stagnant career.

Never mind that he’s married. His wife benefits handsomely from his generosity and while he may not fulfill her with fidelity, he certainly makes up for it through client exchange. Probably better that way. And given what he looks like, it totally makes sense. But he is a legend in the business both for his accomplishments and for the way he leads these ladies to their accomplishments, counting a couple of award winners and a few box office heavyweights on his resumé…which is why he quickly tired of our poor girl and discarded her.

But not before drying her out. One day late summer, they were joined in a hotel suite by a third gentleman (identity insignificant), both of them enjoying her as she allowed herself to be taken, and, um, decorated appropriately, all for a reward at the end of the session – the privilege of simply looking at a script, no promise, no confirmation…just an advance read. And a suggestion to show up at a premiere for a few introductions. She is so desperate, it’s been so meagre, she submitted to the humiliation although gamely seems to have enjoyed it. An actor after all, obviously able to shut out her husband and child waiting for her back at home.

And then he just cut it off. Told her he could no longer help her. That her body in his bed was no longer required. Which of course only added to her degradation. She tried and tried to offer up more, willing to engage in further depravity, but was only met with rejection. Because he’s moved on. He’s hunting his next target. A young, nubile, blonde babe with a large profile and a perky rack who so far has been able to resist his advances but is trying to graduate from supporting roles in film, as the fact that she’s a headliner on the small screen has not helped with the quality of scripts she’s being offered, or with many of her auditions so far. She’s currently waiting on a big break and he’s trying to make sure it doesn’t happen, so that in her disappointment, she’ll come running to him, ready to wheel and deal.

Note: there are 4 famous names at play – the reject, the replacement, the power player, and his wife.”

Harvey Weinstein, Gretchen Mol, Georgina Chapman, and Blake Lively
Blind
Reveal
reveal
reveal


BIOHAZARD

"We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)

Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.

(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)

So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.

This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.

Easy, right?

SO easy."

Paz de la Huerta
Blind
Reveal


SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE
SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE, SOURCE