ONTD ORIGINAL: ~Blind Items Revealed~ (Part 3)

ontd_original_blind_3

This is the third post of blind items that have been revealed by Lainey Gossip, the Canadian gossip blogger and TV host. If you missed the first two posts here and here, Lainey is an entertainment insider who writes detailed blind items and reveals them on her blog.


CUBA & CHOCOLATE
2008

"Two different megastars, two different preferences, but in the end, the act is the same.

The first is a happy father, settled down and reformed, bankable and respected at the same time… a major player. Which is why it’s so important that he keeps his Cuban male lover hidden away to be enjoyed when he’s not on location. It might seem risqué, having his secret stashed so close to home and his official partner, but he’s hot and horny, and it’s not like he’s not living in a freestyling environment, although I have to tell you, this one really, really surprised me. He plays it so well. And in the end, if it wasn’t such a fraud, it totally wouldn’t matter. He is the nicest, nicest person. Kind and considerate and generous… makes me sad he’s forced to live a lie.

The other is much less attached, but just as heterosexually pressured, perhaps even more so. While he’s best known for his female pursuits, and so many females need to believe it that way, it would seem that women are not his only pleasures. When he decides he has a yearning for the other sex however, his flavour is decidedly darker. Sweet chocolate is what they call it? Yes. Black men are his weakness. On occasion, his hankering for it can get him into trouble. He was recently captivated by a fine black man working security at an event who was, unfortunately, not a homosexual. Apparently our star doesn’t have a very sophisticated gaydar because he hit up the wrong dude who did not appreciate the attention, even coming from such a powerful and coveted celebrity. He almost had his ass kicked. His people had to intervene, placate the man, pay off the man… although if he did end up getting the beat-down, he probably would have liked it. Because word is, as time goes on, he’s leaning towards picking a side. Like playing exclusively for the boys team."

“Cuba” is Matt Damon and “Chocolate” is George Clooney.

Blind item
Reveal 1, reveal 2, reveal 3, reveal 4, reveal 5, reveal 6, reveal 7, reveal 8, reveal 9, reveal 10.


DOCTOR’S ORDERS
2010

“He like his sex unconventional. Some would call it experimental, certainly vigorous, and definitely physical. Maybe too physical. Mixing pain into his pleasure, and cutting very, very close to a dangerous line is taking its toll on his body. He shows up with strange bruises, the next week it’s a minor fracture, his neck has been strained, sometimes there’s a knee brace, the shoulder’s been f-cked up for a while, and his back is a chronic issue too.

The excuse of course is that he’s active, that he exercises, he’s sporty, and that’s true, yes, but the injuries are not sustained while playing pickup, no, not at all. The injuries happen when he’s doing his business with his steady girl, a willing and capable participant.

His doctor is aware of what’s been ailing him, and WHY it’s ailing him. Helps when he can. But he’s been urged to take it easy because lately it’s been getting too rough. Especially with insurance and medicals and all that kind of paperwork, it’s hard to explain away the cuts and sprains, the little accidents that seem to be occurring with increasing frequency. He’s so into it, and he gets so off on it, it’s hard from him to curtail his fun. But they all agree, at least it’s been the case in the past, that when it’s time to get to work, he manages to keep his freak under control.”

George Clooney
Blind. Reveal, reveal, reveal.


FAVORITE NUMBER
2005

“He is an award-winning actor, truly one of the best. Some people adore him. Some people, not so much. And it’s not just the difficult personality. On the set of one of his films, a pretty assistant caught his eye. Although he didn’t make a move throughout the duration of the shoot, he did arrange for her to be around him on many social occasions, just to be around her, to observe her, to fully appreciate her assets. At the end of production, he finally delivered the proposition that you’re all expecting. Except that it wasn’t quite so simple. You see, our superstar wasn’t just asking for himself. He was also asking for his wife. Apparently, 3 is their favourite number.
Thank Goddess the attractive assistant managed to deftly finagle herself out of the situation but I’ve since been told that he picks one per film. And most of the girls don’t escape so easily.”

Noted asshole Russell Crowe
Blind item, Reveal


THE DOGGY COUPLE
2007

“They are among the Hollywood super elite, as powerful apart as they are together. Although you wouldn’t think it, their sex life is actually pretty functional and routine. Her favourite position? Doggy style. But not for the reason you think. You see, aside from the obvious benefits, that particular pose enables her to keep her hair and makeup intact AND admire herself in the mirror in the process. According to her housekeeper, it’s the only way she can get off.

When they’re not humping each other in front of the mirror, our power couple enjoys partaking in some classy porn. Together. They feel it keeps their relationship healthy and fresh. Thing is, when you’re as influential as they are, you can pretty much order up your own story lines. Which is exactly what they do. They request, for their viewing pleasure, specific scenarios and specific positions. All shot on high quality film of course. No budget skin flicks accepted here. Once every few months or so, a new batch arrives on top secret order from a company that specializes in producing porn for the terribly wealthy and terribly kinky.”

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones
Blind item, blind item, reveal


MUTE STONES & NUDE WINDOWS
2007

“She’s kept a low profile, with few new projects in recent years preferring to focus on marriage and on her head. Clearly not enough focus on the head. Because while she’s cleaned up the slovenly habits of riddles past, she’s still as loopy as ever. And still a colossal bitch. Who likes to parade around stark naked in front of her window with the blinds wide open.

In a rented house on a well populated street shooting an upcoming movie on location, she can apparently be seen regularly walking around in front of the windows at the front of the house breasts flouncing around freely, oblivious to whoever might be outside.

It’s too bad she’s not as chill about her attitude than she is about her body.

Yet another star who stalks the set like a tyrant, yet another star who won’t deign to speak to the regular folk. Seems she considers conversation with her a privilege but the honour is granted sparingly and only through “Mute Stones”.

Seriously.

She carries around what people on set have taken to calling Mute Stones and when she isn’t in the mood to converse with someone, she will silently hand over the Mute Stone – those in possession of a Mute Stone are not permitted to speak to her until she takes it back.

Perhaps it’s a trick she can pass on to The Unfunny Douche who fired a dude recently for simply looking at him.

It’s hard to believe, I get it. You can’t believe people are capable of acting so appallingly. But there are two crews over a hundred strong that can vouch for it, word for word.”

Ashlely Judd
Blind, reveal 1, reveal 2, reveal 3.


COLD YOUNG FEET?
2013

“At a pre-Oscar party this weekend...

He’s young, super hot, and engaged. To someone also young, also hot, and arguably more famous, for now. But she wasn’t with him. Which is why he could focus all his attention on someone else -- a beautiful girl made famous by a franchise who is growing out her hair while his fiancée currently prefers it the opposite way.

They were flirting for a long, long time. All he wanted to do was talk to her. And laugh with her. And it was just the two of them until almost the end of the night. They were close to the last ones to leave. Am told “he seemed waayyyy into her”, so much so that if “(his fiancée) was there, she would not have been happy about it. But he probably wouldn’t have been like that if she was there anyway”.

Better that they figure this out now though and not after the wedding. They say it’ll be a long engagement. If this is how it’s going down though, the engagement might be longer than the marriage. They’re just so young.”

Liam Hemsworth was engaged to Miley Cyrus but flirting with Emma Watson.
Blind, Reveal


CUCUMBER
2012

“They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.

At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.

A cucumber.

In the garden.

At a party.

With a cucumber.

She enjoyed it.

They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified.”

Diane Kruger and Pacey
Blind, Reveal



Whew, that's it for a while, I'm pooped.


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