This Is What a Queer Family Looks Like

Some parts of the interview:

He’s committed to shaking up norms around gender and sexuality. His decade-long polyamorous romantic partnership with Bethany Meyers, a fitness and lifestyle entrepreneur (who identifies as gay) is proof. It’s a different kind of queer relationship, they admit, one that is thoroughly open and modern and enduring.

“There are those pockets of the world, in so many places, that ‘gay’ just doesn’t exist, where there’s no representation,” Tortorella says, speaking of a gay man who escaped North Korea and discovered that gay people exist elsewhere. “And it’s not that different than the representation that existed in Hollywood for the last hundred years. … There’s like one love story and it’s between a white man and a white woman.”

"I believe in the spectrum, the full universe of gender and sexuality, and probably I fall more into the pansexual fluid terms which fall into the umbrella of bisexual in LGBTQ-plus," Tortorella says. "I think when I was first having this conversation, I didn’t like the term bisexual because I think it was a little dated for this generation; people weren’t using it. It kind of puts people into this box. [But] I respect the term bisexual. I use it because I respect it.”

Meyers identifies as gay (“I know more women who call themselves gay than they call themselves lesbian,” she admits), but also embraces the queer label. She says Tortorella is the only man she can imagine having a relationship with

Despite Tortorella and Meyers’s understanding that jealousy is part of being human, for them it’s different. In fact, they told me they never get jealous when the other is dating someone of the same sex, like Tortorella’s highly public relationship with Los Angeles-based hairstylist and Instagram star Kyle Krieger. It’s only when they’re dating someone of the opposite sex that jealousy intervenes, mainly because there’s a chance of having a child, and they both desperately want to have a baby together.