1. Mark Little (@markmarklittle)
Mark Little is a stand-up comedian, actor, and founding member of the east coast comedy group picnicface.
Ben Affleck always looks like he's about to fucking blow— WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE (@markmarklittle) January 9, 2017
Sleep is a memory. Each night the same horrible dream. I wake up sweating, wondering how - HOW can a man this young be pope?— WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE (@markmarklittle) January 20, 2017
Women's t-shirt idea: "my eyes are up here" w arrow pointing up to 2 eyes stencilled on shirt but if u look at woman's actual face, NO EYES— WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE (@markmarklittle) March 15, 2017
2. Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch)
Member of Kids In The Hall sketch group, author, and actor.
I did karaoke last night. I did a monologue from "Death of a Salesman"— Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch) March 18, 2017
not a night goes by where i DON'T sing MMMbop by Hanson and quietly wonder how they are.....— Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch) March 5, 2017
is this anti-social? i hate that my neighbors know where i live...— Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch) February 1, 2017
if you have barbed wire tattooed on your neck - wouldn't it be simpler to just write "meth"?— Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch) December 10, 2016
3. Aisha Alfa (@aishaalfa)
Aisha is a rising stand-up comedian and current cast member on satirical news show "The Beaverton"
My phone just autocorrected "vagina" to "caging" #oppression— Aisha Alfa (@aishaalfa) March 17, 2017
Daytime: *birds chirping* ME: nature is so amazing! Nighttime: *birds chirping* ME: is it illegal to strangle a bird?— Aisha Alfa (@aishaalfa) December 15, 2016
4. Dave Shumka (@daveshumka)
Dave Shumka is a comedian, podcaster, and author.
The design aesthetic of most of my light fixtures is "bug graveyard."— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) March 7, 2017
I want to eat oodles of something, BUT WHAT?— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) March 10, 2017
Helen Hunt: still the world's youngest Helen.— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) March 17, 2017
5. Ivan Decker (@ivandecker)
Decker is a stand-up comedian from Vancouver who has appeared on CBC's "The Debaters"
Grandpa why is the world ruined?— Ivan Decker (@ivandecker) November 23, 2015
Well, for about 10 years it was cheaper to buy a new printer than replace the ink so we all did that.
I'm finished judging everyone around me what else am I supposed to do in the airport?— Ivan Decker (@ivandecker) March 6, 2017
7 am on a Saturday is a weird time to be on public transit. Way more plastic bags than you'd think. Whatever you're thinking double it.— Ivan Decker (@ivandecker) December 3, 2016
6. Kate Beaton (@beatonna)
Beaton is the creator of the comic strip "Hark! A Vagrant", a children's book author, and an all around wonderful Canadian.
you might ask yourself what the worst thing is, but in your heart, you already know it's glass cutting boards— Kate Beaton (@beatonna) March 1, 2017
truly, I could never own a cafe because I would get too furious about people taking too many napkins— Kate Beaton (@beatonna) February 27, 2017
I discovered in the bridal party world the look is either Strapless or Terrible Straps and also Hating Yourself and Why Are There Gems Here— Kate Beaton (@beatonna) January 8, 2017
Who makes you laugh on twitter, ONTD?
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