milfordacademy (milfordacademy) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

Lochte's PR tour begins w/ Bieber's crisis manager; Feigen made up sketch of fake bandit

Tonight on Lochte Up Abroad:

Creative story-teller, Ryan Lochte, has hired Matthew Hiltzik, a top Hollywood PR guru for some crisis management - the same one who has helped Alec Baldwin and Justin Bieber during their times of need.

The first order of the day? Make the spinner of yarns look like a good wholesome American boy 32-year-old: the grey/green hair color is discarded in favor of a solid, respectable brown.

The noted pseudologist gave an exclusive interview today to the biggest TV news program in Brazil (from NY) and to Matt Lauer in a serious hairstyle and dress shirt, a far cry from the carefree frat-boy look he sported until yesterday.

To Felipe Santana, the Jornal Nacional reporter, the famed fabulist gave an interview with his PR guru and lawyer by his side. He said he made "immature accusations" and "is confused" by what happened. He says that he doesn't know why he made the story up, but also that "he didn't exactly lie" (?), that Brazil doesn't deserve it and apologized to the gas station owner, the police and the people of Brazil and Rio.

Fantástico, the most popular Sunday-night TV show in Brazil, is dedicating an entire segment to show "why Ryan Lochte was considered a joke in the US, even before this scandal". #nochill

To Matt Lauer, the professional poet said (watch here): "Whether you call it a robbery, or extortion, or us paying just for the damages, like, we don't know".

He insisted on the point about having a gun pointed in his direction and being demanded to give money - but Matt Lauer, speaking slowly, as if to a child, makes him admit that he understood he was making a deal to pay for the damages and to not get in trouble with the police.

Lauer: At some point, someone who spoke English walked over and offered to help translate this altercation. And he made it clear that the security guard was telling the 4 of you: "you need to pay for that stuff, that damage, before you leave here, or I'm gonna call the police". You understood that at that time, didn't you?
Lochte: Jeah Yeah.

[OP note: police had actually already been called, but the swimmers didn't want to stick around for them to arrive]

"I take full responsibility. I over-exaggerated that story and if I had never done that we wouldn't be in this mess. None of this would have happened. [...] It was my immature behavior"

ESPN Brazil had access to Feigen's two depositions. In the first one, the promising fiction author went as far as making up a sketch of the fake bandit.

The imaginary robber had "athletic build, dark hair, lined haircut, light brown skin, approx. 30 to 40 years old, recently shaved".

He was also wearing a "light grey shirt under a dark jacket and black pants".

Sources 1 2 3 4

Have you ever customized the truth, ONTD? Tell us your tallest tales
Tags: don't come to brazil, olympics, pr training needed, ryan lochte, scandal
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