Lana (kimsungkyu) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
Lana
kimsungkyu
ohnotheydidnt

Ingrid Nilsen's Coming Out: One Year Later



An update to her famous coming out video posted last year

A summary for those who can't watch:
[its hard to summarize a 20 minute video ok]

  • Once she came out she could be more intimate in her relationships (including friendships)

  • Coming out allowed her to learn a lot about herself, allowed her to have a deeper understanding of who she is

  • Says you have to acknowledge the good of an experience but also the bad, ugly, and scary sides

  • Still holds resentment to people who treated her shitty during important moments during her coming out process

  • It's really difficult to have people challenge her identity and call her a liar, say she's doing it for attention, or meet new people who don't believe she's gay because she doesn't "look" or "act" gay according to their expectations of what gay people are like

  • If she had to take one thing away from her coming out process it would be that it's so important to be open, and not to get caught up in who you should be or what you should do

  • If you identify one way you don't have to stick to that later if you figure out it's no longer true, says right now she identifies as "gay" and sometimes uses the word "lesbian" but doesn't want to close herself to possibilities later and who knows if she'll identify as "queer" later on. Said it's really scary to talk about how she identifies because she know so many people will judge her for it.

  • Gets asked a lot about how her family reacted to her coming out and says she choses to only speak to one family member anymore. Says both sides need to be ready to have patience and come together to form a new kind of relationship and she's not at that point yet.

  • Talks about people who challenge her identity because they don't think gay girls can be feminine

  • Talks about how straight men who hit on her "spiral" when they find out she isn't straight and how scary it is

  • Men objectify lesbians (and not just femmes) and think their sexuality is for male enjoyment

  • Mentions her conditional white passing privilege and how being a WoC intersects with being gay, but says that will have to be a whole other video



Source
Tags: coming out, internet celebrities, lgbtq / rights
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