Hannibal: 8 1/2 [5] Most Disturbing Moments

Spoilers through Hannibal: Season 2 follow...

I freely admit to being one of those people who thought that making a TV show based on Hannibal Lecter was a bad idea. Even more so given that it was to air on NBC. I mean, what good would it be to do a Hannibal series if you didn't couldn't coat it in the TV-MA content that a cable channel, or a premium cable channel, could allow?

Two seasons later and here I am eating my words. With fava beans and a [edit: sentence deleted under "Hack Movie Reference Law #26].

No, you can't hear cuss words on Hannibal. Nor can you see butts, nips, peeps, shlurps, or jib jabs. But the show still somehow manages to stand tall as a stunning testimony to what you can do on network TV (given the timeslot and a certain level of haggling). See, the trick is to hide all your gore and carnage within a pristine baroque palate of gorgeousness. And then make people want to vomit.

I'm serious about the puke part. Even the twisted task of writing this feature caused certain feelings to, um, bubble back up. Because some of this is wicked rancid. Blech. And the kicker here is that all this potent disturbia is mixed in with amazing, poetic imagery and delectable looking gourmet meals. Sure, most of the meals are made out of human parts, but - dammit! - they still look heavenly.

Want to know how disgusting this show can be? One episode featured a murdered judge hanging from the ceiling with his brain cut out. And it's not on the list. Another moment featured a guy being forced to eat his own leg. Not here. This show is so nasty it'll make you want to slap your butcher. Which isn't really a saying. Or a euphemism. Just a expression of shock and and anger toward someone whose job it is to slice up dead, processed animals.

Here are eight and a half extremely disturbing Hannibal moments...

Cello Goodbye

One standout moment from Season 1 happened when a fellow serial killer, Tobias - who shared Hannibal's disdain for inept musicians - wandered into to Dr. Lecter's orbit and got taken out. It was a furious battle between two killers with a passion for elaborate tableaus. Though Tobias' staged sets were a bit "on the nose" given that he ran a stringed instrument shop. Hence...Cello Man!!!

And Will, being Will, naturally imagine-i-fied that he was the guy playing the human cello. Graciously providing us with Reason #200 for not going to the symphony. Because not only would we spend the whole time intermittently jerking our head up while fighting sleepy lids, there's a good chance we'd offend some snobbish murderer in the crowd and then get turned into a some sort of half-man/half-bassoon monstrosity.

To this day though, I still torn about which was creepier: Charlie McCello or the image of Hobbs in the seats giving Will a slow clap.

That's a Wrap

Right at the beginning of Season 2 came one of the most vile, revolting things that anyone's ever seen with their eyeballs. So foul. Another one of those "It would have been waaaay better to have just died" moments. Because unlike everyone else in the savage silo filled with intertwining, sewn-together human bodies, this poor dude didn't peacefully drift off into death from a heroin overdose. He actually woke up. And then immediately regretted his body's stubborn decision to live.

From there, he tore himself free. Yes, tore. As in, ripped himself off of the people he was stitched too. To this day, I still can't look at my cat, Patches.

To Spite the Face

It's pretty spectacular that Hannibal, as a show, can provide us with a punishment so ugly and repugnant that we can be all like "I know Mason Verger's a soulless, masochistic pedophile, but maybe - just maybe - this is going too far."

As it turns out, Michael Pitt would have actually made a hell of a Joker if he'd been given the chance - as his enjoyable lavish and over-the-top performance as Mason allowed us to see him in a psychopathic supervillain light for the first time. In the end though, he wound up as Two-Face. What with Hannibal wiring him up with a powerful psychotropic drug and then coercing him to slice off his own face one prized piece at a time. Pieces that were then fed to Will's hungry hounds.

Oh, and for second breakfast, Hannibal convinced Mason to chop off his own nose and eat it. Blerg. So grody. It's enough to almost put me off noses. Almost.

Who's Shroomin' Who?

There were these people...who were alive...and in the ground...and

F*** it! They have f***ing mushrooms growing out of them! IT'S TERRIBLE! DAMMIT! MOVING ON!

House of a Thousand Corpses

At the end of Season 2, this series was all like "you want to see what kind of finale a show that's perpetually on the cancellation bubble can do?" And so we wound up with manor full of mutilation. With all of our heroes in various crucial states of bleeding to death all over the place.

And mirroring the pilot episode, Will did his best to try and stop Abigail's carotid hemorrhaging. But there was too much blood. And he himself was leaking crimson from his own gut. Which thusly turned Hannibal's kitchen floor into a sort of a sopping Will-bigail stew. It was pretty much the worst.

And we won't get to see the fallout from this splatter show for another nine months or so. Another reason why this show is going to psychological grind me down into a fine powder.


Smh @ the author for not including the bees...