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10:37 am - 05/19/2014

Toni Braxton Opens Up About Secret Abortion

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You’re probably familiar with the rates by now: One in 10 women will have an abortion by age 20, one in four by age 30 and three in 10 by age 45. It makes it very likely that someone you know has had an abortion in their lifetime.

Toni Braxton is the latest to reveal that she has had an abortion in the past. In an exclusive Entertainment Tonight interview, the singer revealed more than ten years ago she became pregnant by her then boyfriend, Keri Lewis. At the time she was in the middle of a six-month prescription for Accutane, a prescription acne medication which can cause serious complications in pregnancy.

She decided to terminate the pregnancy, but admits in her new memoir “Unbreak My Heart” that she would’ve have come to the same conclusion even if she weren’t on the medication. The singer admits her decision was caused more by the refusal to inconvenience her lifestyle than any fear that her fetus had been harmed.

She confesses that the decision was followed by a huge amount of guilt from being raised in a strictly religious home that did not support abortion. She also admits that when her youngest son Diezel was diagnosed with autism, at times she felt that was God’s way of punishing her. She writes in her memoir,”Is God punishing me for that abortion?” The singer confesses she questioned if her lupus diagnosis and her parents’ messy divorce were God’s payback for her decision.

We are happy to see more and more women breaking their silence about such a very personal experience so that other women don’t feel so guilty and ashamed. Toni has had a lot of setbacks in her life so it’s nice to see her busy working again.

Source
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alfendi 19th-May-2014 06:03 pm (UTC)
She also admits that when her youngest son Diezel was diagnosed with autism, at times she felt that was God’s way of punishing her.

Jesus fucking Christ. Religion fucks people up so badly. :(
bangorilla 19th-May-2014 06:05 pm (UTC)
IKR
I've heard so many people say this, it's enraging
neemah 19th-May-2014 06:08 pm (UTC)
Its used as a form of control. More powerful than any gun or bomb.
neverhft 19th-May-2014 06:23 pm (UTC)
right...mess
xtinkerbellax 19th-May-2014 06:42 pm (UTC)
It makes me sad that anyone would think that, and when people make statements like this about God it makes me wonder why they even want to be associated with a GOd like that.
alfendi 19th-May-2014 06:48 pm (UTC)
and when people make statements like this about God it makes me wonder why they even want to be associated with a GOd like that

Seriously. It's sickening to hear people talk about all the horrible things that God did as "punishment" to them or to the people around them and then turn around and talk about how much they love God (and how much God loves them). It's like watching someone trapped in a horrifically abusive relationship with an imaginary friend.
licktheabortion 19th-May-2014 07:02 pm (UTC)
The really fucked up thing is, traditionally, Christianity has no problem with early term abortion! Lots of historic Catholic writers and leaders posited that early term abortion was not a big deal as the fetus was not ensouled at that point. The evangelical movement in the US, in the 70s, had prominent leaders and writers who were fine with abortion. Abortion is just a fact of life throughout all of human history, and it was accorded no special stigma until very recently.

Abortion was a political issue was seized on by evangelicals in the US in the 80s. It was really the beginning of an organized right wing Christian incursion into US politics. They soon found allies among Catholics, and here we are.

And then, there's the really dirty, awful secret of Christian anti-choicers: The Bible RECOMMENDS abortion in the case of adultery: Numbers 5:11-30. While opposition to seafood, witchcraft and homosexuality can be found in the Bible, there is none for abortion. Quite the opposite! God demands it!
batty_gal 19th-May-2014 08:19 pm (UTC)
Yep.
baboona 19th-May-2014 06:03 pm (UTC)
She writes in her memoir,”Is God punishing me for that abortion?” The singer confesses she questioned if her lupus diagnosis and her parents’ messy divorce were God’s payback for her decision.

therein lies the power of religion
cheekymonkeyboo 20th-May-2014 12:40 am (UTC)
lol its very self involved too..lol like my parents where not happy with a relationsip that had its highs and lows before i was even born but that was all about ME! so are any illnesses that have to do with DNA,contamination or whatever etc etc. like lol if your parents divorce is about spiting you what can your mom cry about god doing to her? like the logic is so crazy i cant!!
anna_karenina_x 19th-May-2014 06:04 pm (UTC)
She also admits that when her youngest son Diezel was diagnosed with autism, at times she felt that was God’s way of punishing her.

Damn, it sounds like she was basically tormenting herself over this. I feel so bad for her.

electricknight 19th-May-2014 06:07 pm (UTC)
Fuck. :(
gorlplz 19th-May-2014 06:12 pm (UTC)
omg the part about diezel :(

bless the underrated vocal kween (it was neva a vocal trinity, it was whitwhit, moomoo, celine and teaux knee)
crazyfirecrotch 19th-May-2014 06:14 pm (UTC)
breathe again is my karaoke go to.
efffff i neva evar!!!!!!
bostongirl2003 20th-May-2014 01:15 am (UTC)
Her early stuff is the best. Unbreak My Heart, Love Shoulda Brought You Home...
vonlisbon 19th-May-2014 06:17 pm (UTC)
Dude, on friggin' Accutane there was no way she would've carried it to term anyway. Accutane is scary as hell.
bostongirl2003 20th-May-2014 01:17 am (UTC)
I babysat a young teen boy who was on it and EVERY VISIT they made him sign a form verifying that he was aware it would cause birth defects if he impregnated someone while taking it.
vonlisbon 20th-May-2014 03:05 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's a category X drug. Every woman I've known who took it was required to use two forms of birth control, even for multiple months before beginning and after ending their Rx. You can't even give blood while taking it.

Like granted I've never had terrible acne so I don't want to sound like I'm being derisive of folks who do, but I just can't imagine that Accutane is worth the risk. I've even seen studies suggesting it could have lifelong effects.
myroomiswhite88 22nd-May-2014 04:03 pm (UTC)
I had to take a pregnancy test twice just to get the prescription.and then I had to take a mini course on the dangers. It was so dangerous the pharmacy wouldn't fill it. I said fuck it never mind
thankyounotes 19th-May-2014 06:18 pm (UTC)
That is so sad that she felt like she was being punished.


I feel like it's so easy to judge when you're not in the situation. I knew a girl in hs who was super pro-life and very judgmental of women who get abortions. Then she became sexually active and got her first pregnancy scare, and when I was like, "Oh, you're pro-life right? So if it's positive then you're going to keep it?" and she was like "psh no way" and then changed her tune just like that. It turned out to be a false alarm and now she pretends like it never happened and has gone back to being pro-life when it suits her apparently smh.


I actually feel like we're going backwards in terms of abortions. I remember growing up and Roe v Wade was always framed in a super positive light and a huge step for women. Do they still teach it like that? I hope so. Even most of the liberal people I know are pro-life. It really scares me tbh.
nekkichi 19th-May-2014 06:38 pm (UTC)
> and now she pretends like it never happened and has gone back to being pro-life when it suits her apparently smh.

prolife hateread has been my fav hateread as of recently,
it gets worse when stuff actually happens to the activists in question --

"I've had several cases over the years in which the anti-abortion patient had rationalized in one way or another that her case was the only exception, but the one that really made an impression was the college senior who was the president of her campus Right-to-Life organization, meaning that she had worked very hard in that organization for several years. As I was completing her procedure, I asked what she planned to do about her high office in the RTL organization. Her response was a wide-eyed, 'You're not going to tell them, are you!?' When assured that I was not, she breathed a sigh of relief, explaining how important that position was to her and how she wouldn't want this to interfere with it."

http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/anti-tales.html
thankyounotes 19th-May-2014 06:46 pm (UTC)
damn. I have no problem with anyone getting an abortion, including "pro-life" people since they have the right as well, but what kind of mental gymnastics...
licktheabortion 19th-May-2014 06:53 pm (UTC)
You're very right about how the support for abortion choices has gone down (assuming you're in the US). From the many polls I've read and tracked over the years, the pro-choice position has steadily eroded, and it is one of the few social issue positions where young people have become more conservative on.

My conjecture for why this is happening: We have to remember, the really vocal, organized and political opposition to abortion from the Christian right wing in America didn't really start until 1980. In fact, evangelicals getting political in the US really started and crytallized around a manufactured opposition to abortion (traditionally, Christianity is often OK with early term abortions). For the general public, pictures of bloody fetuses meshed with the general backlash against the sexual liberation of the 70s (goaded by the spread of HIV, too).

Anti-abortion people, over the years, became very good and consistent with associating the medical procedure with things people find viscerally gross (again bloody fetuses, and then the twisted genius stroke of calling late term abortions "partial birth abortions"). Meanwhile, pro-choice organizations failed to counter. This culminates in Bill Clinton, ever the relentless centrist, declaring that abortion should be "safe, legal and rare." Pro-choice groups failed to address abortion head on, and over time, the very term became stigmatized.

At the very same time, the horror of illegal abortions faded from the American consciousness. When Roe v. Wade happened, the public had vivid images of people dead and mutilated from back alley procedures. Compared to that, abortions in legal clinics were the very image of sanitary and clean, things that people viscerally approve of. But over time, coathangers and back alleys went out of the public consciousness, while anti-abortion forces successfully reframed the clinical procedure as something disgusting, and here we are.

Having people publicly talk about their abortions like Toni did here, we can chip away at the stigma and make the world a safer place for people to take control of their bodies.
celtic_thistle 19th-May-2014 07:06 pm (UTC)
I was also really anti-abortion and judgmental as a teenager, and then I had a pregnancy scare and realized, fuck, now I see why it needs to be an option. I also feel like society is going backwards re: abortion. It used to not be as big a deal in the 80s and 90s, it seems.
personalburgers 19th-May-2014 11:32 pm (UTC)
We are definitely going backwards, we are one supreme court judge away from Roe v. Wade being removed. It's fucking scary, and I can't use the term pro-life. Those people are anti-choice, period.
cheekymonkeyboo 20th-May-2014 12:45 am (UTC)
Oh, you're pro-life right? So if it's positive then you're going to keep it?" and she was like "psh no way" and then changed her tune just like that. It turned out to be a false alarm and now she pretends like it never happened and has gone back to being pro-life when it suits her apparently smh.

lol so when ppl come to me and are like ideas are formed through experience and they are ignorant about xyz and havnt been throught xyz..bullshit..alot of ppl hold ideals that are sexist/racist/ignorant about issues like abortion because it suits the person the want to be and opinions they want to have..like plz!!
scaredsquee 19th-May-2014 06:18 pm (UTC)
fuck religion ugh
heure_actuelle 19th-May-2014 06:21 pm (UTC)
"She also admits that when her youngest son Diezel was diagnosed with autism, at times she felt that was God’s way of punishing her"

this is sf sad and messed up. a special needs child should never be seen as divine punishment :(
heure_actuelle 19th-May-2014 06:23 pm (UTC)
also, it's funny/sad how many people i've heard of who are very conservative but the minute their young daughters get pregnant out of wedlock they're rushing them to the doctor's office to have abortions. like that shit happens all. the. time. it ain't only liberals getting abortions. people are against it until they're in that position.
dior_chic 19th-May-2014 06:33 pm (UTC)
Yep. My friend is from a very strict Catholic family. She got knocked up and her family were immediately suggesting to her that she should abort the child. I think a big reason why they weren't following their religion's strong anti-abortion beliefs is because they hated the father of the child (he's involved in gangs and is just a loser in general).

She choose to have the baby and the family came to support her at least. Probably because the father will not be involved in the kid's life at all, probably for the best. But they are very religious, I'm surprised that their first choice was abortion.
hunnichild 19th-May-2014 06:37 pm (UTC)
Yup, this seems to be the case with a lot of conservative, hot topic issues like abortion, social welfare programs, etc. They think they're the exception to the rule so if/when it happens to them it was just a fluke and they can continue on judging the other people. Meanwhile, statistics show that the conservative states are the ones that always have the highest levels of teen pregnancy, abortion rates and number of citizens on welfare or receiving Social Security benefits.
ohyoudo 19th-May-2014 06:42 pm (UTC)
I deleted my previous comment because it was meant to be a general comment not a reply to you, but actually replying now: The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion
carazon 19th-May-2014 07:09 pm (UTC)
This is the absolute reality of it. Their pro-life movement is such a hoax for many reasons including this.
gypsy_leerose 19th-May-2014 06:28 pm (UTC)
:-(

Wow so sad
dior_chic 19th-May-2014 06:30 pm (UTC)
The punishment part is really sad :( But I also hate when I see autism, down syndrome, or any mental disability or handicap referred to as a punishment towards the parents for their previous actions. My mom is rather religious so if something goes wrong in my life she always has a snide remark about this is payback for going against God in some way, but then immediately apologizes and tries to help me out.

I agree that it's a good thing if more women are breaking their silence about it. A family member of mine had an abortion but our family isn't supposed to talk about it. She was never the same after it, she stopped dating and never had children (even though she always wanted a family - but she wanted a family later on in her life, she had the abortion in her early 20s), and went into a deep depression afterwords. :/ She's doing better at least.

Edited at 2014-05-19 06:37 pm (UTC)
licktheabortion 19th-May-2014 06:34 pm (UTC)
This is a brave revelation from Toni. Abortion is still being treated, even by many pro-choicers, as a dirty secret. By doing so, she's making someone out there feel better about abortion and chipping away at the stigma.
ohyoudo 19th-May-2014 06:40 pm (UTC)
Fuck, I feel her. The shame society makes you feel about having an abortion really fucks with your head. Specially if you grew up in a religious environment. I'm glad she came forward about it. Reading stories on the internet about women who didn't regret their abortions or women who were upfront about them really inspired me and meant a lot when I was dealing with the shame of mine

justlikethat 20th-May-2014 02:03 am (UTC)
i feel for her (and you) as well. i don't know on what planet a woman can be totally okay with people JUDGING her for making the best decision for her reality.

it's like everyone forgets that do unto others commandment and just decides to judge the hell out of people. i don't know how anyone, regardless of how they feel, could actually and seriously be against someone else living their own life. smh.
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