9:32 am - 05/02/2014

People's Top Ten Celeb Quotes of the Week!

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".@Beyonce and Jay Z announced their summer tour schedule. I don't think I'm ready for this jelly."

– Ellen DeGeneres, riffing off Destiny's Child anthem "Bootylicious" in response to the couple's upcoming joint summer tour, on Twitter

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"The best one that's ever been done on the show ever."

– Jimmy Fallon, on Emma Stone's epic lip-synch performance to DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win," on The Tonight Show

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"I'm looking at your teeth and I'm going, 'That's my brother!'"

– Michael Strahan to Keith Urban after watching a throwback clip of the gap-toothed teenage singer belting out Air Supply's "All Out of Love" for an Australian talent competition, on Live! with Kelly and Michael

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"I thought it was about time!"

– Martha Stewart, on friend George Clooney's engagement to Amal Alamuddin, to PEOPLE

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"Pose like Mommy!"

– Nick Cannon, sharing an adorable snapshot of 3-year-old daughter Monroe channeling mom Mariah Carey, on Instagram

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"Think I'm kidding? Try calling it!! B––!!!"

– Blake Shelton, who upped the ante on his The Voice sparring partner Adam Levine when he posted the Sexiest Man Alive's cell phone number, on Twitter

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"CBS and I are not getting divorced. We are 'consciously uncoupling.'"

– Craig Ferguson, who announced he's leaving his late-night talk show at the end of the year, on The Late Late Show

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"We were on our way to Thailand to see my parents, flying commercial first-class. We were under a blanket. We weren't even in one of those pod things. I feel like we should get a trophy for that."

– Chrissy Teigen, on joining the mile-high club with husband John Legend, to Cosmopolitan

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"The first time I met him I assumed he'd be a little f––er, but that was eight years ago."

– Seth Rogen, who admitted he didn't expect to like Neighbors costar Zac Efron, to PEOPLE

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"As far back as i can remember, i always wanted to be a mean girl..."

– Lindsay Lohan, celebrating the 10th anniversary of Mean Girls, on Twitter

Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?

Ellen's not DisinGenuous
DON'T BE TOO PROUD EMMA, Jimmy says this every week
Two Teeth Twins
Martha's sucking up to get exclusive Weddings photoshoot
Monroe <3 Mommy
Be sure to call Adam from a Payphone
Craigy Foop
Chrissy Teigen desperate for attention
Zeth Rofron will be their married name
lilo trying to make her relevancy happen



HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD!  :-)   xoxo

sparklylulz 2nd-May-2014 04:40 pm (UTC)
aw man i'm really gonna miss craig.
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:20 pm (UTC)
me too:-( his interviews are always the best because people can just be themselves
cressesgirl 2nd-May-2014 10:17 pm (UTC)
I know, he really is the best
yummyhead2toe 2nd-May-2014 04:42 pm (UTC)
"( My first post for May, hey- why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say? )"
lizrocks 2nd-May-2014 05:01 pm (UTC)
It's from Happy Gilmore, uncultured person.
yummyhead2toe 2nd-May-2014 05:26 pm (UTC)
I'll pass.
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:29 pm (UTC)
Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:20 pm (UTC)
During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.
rockstarsex 2nd-May-2014 07:15 pm (UTC)
you can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 08:00 pm (UTC)
anyone else's fingers hurt?
scriptedending 2nd-May-2014 04:43 pm (UTC)
Not too many good ones this week, but Craig's made me laugh.
phallus 2nd-May-2014 04:45 pm (UTC)
Craigs >>>>>>
tadashee 2nd-May-2014 04:46 pm (UTC)
I can't believe Lindsay was only 17!
Also, I forgot to get tickets to on the run. 😭😭
manicpixiegirl 2nd-May-2014 04:49 pm (UTC)
Chrissy Teigan is so gross. Lindsay Lohan is so ridiculous.
divafit 2nd-May-2014 04:51 pm (UTC)
wait, adam's cell # was on instagram and i missed it??????

a quick OT but ladies of ONTD (specifically black girls with combination skin but all are welcome!!!) can you rec some SPF moisturizers? i'm going on vaca to the sunshine state and i'm definitely gonna need protection.

Edited at 2014-05-02 04:54 pm (UTC)
hypnology 2nd-May-2014 05:05 pm (UTC)
Love this gif
pippopippo 2nd-May-2014 05:06 pm (UTC)
Blake tweeted it during The Voice. Not sure if it was legit or not, but Adam seemed kinda upset on the show as he was doing it.
zuluuluz 2nd-May-2014 05:11 pm (UTC)
im still trying to find a video online of this clip i need to see it so badly
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:23 pm (UTC)
ive been a big fan of neutrogena sheer lotion


it's hella light weight, non-greasy. cannot recommend it enough!
divafit 2nd-May-2014 04:54 pm (UTC)
the only other person talking about it was damian and all 500 of his interviews were posted here
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:23 pm (UTC)
people likes to keep it pg/pg-13 with their quote selections, and there's been a BIG list of comments about the 10yr anniversary on ontd already
niyakarma 2nd-May-2014 04:52 pm (UTC)
consciously uncoupling.. how the fuck did gwyneth come up with that i still don't get it.
evett 2nd-May-2014 04:57 pm (UTC)
does ellen ever attempt to say anything funny ever

Edited at 2014-05-02 04:57 pm (UTC)
syntheses 2nd-May-2014 05:02 pm (UTC)
No. Her show now is 5% witty comments 45% product placement and 50% those two little British girls who sung superbass and need to go back to school
gypsy_leerose 2nd-May-2014 05:11 pm (UTC)
placentipede 2nd-May-2014 05:01 pm (UTC)
these are all boring
chrislola 2nd-May-2014 05:02 pm (UTC)
none of these quotes were that great. meh.
aqueous_drama 2nd-May-2014 05:03 pm (UTC)
Awww, Monroe's glasses are so qt.
raunchyb 2nd-May-2014 05:05 pm (UTC)
The glasses are adorable, but IDK about that shirt.
gypsy_leerose 2nd-May-2014 05:11 pm (UTC)
"CBS and I are not getting divorced. We are 'consciously uncoupling.'"

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo voted for that

and chrissy teigen is annoying
zuluuluz 2nd-May-2014 05:12 pm (UTC)
am i the only one who finds ellen really fake
she is a moneyhungry demon under all that make up and fake smiles
xtinkerbellax 2nd-May-2014 05:19 pm (UTC)
Haven't there been rumors for years that she can be a nightmare to work for? I feel like she definitely puts on a front but lbr they probably all do to an extent.
grandmascorner 2nd-May-2014 05:16 pm (UTC)
why are these polls still messy?
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:24 pm (UTC)
i dunno :-( when the polls are used outside ontd there are no problems
rkt 3rd-May-2014 04:33 am (UTC)
because lj is whack and wants you to work for your fun

click on poll #____ and you get http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=1966753

chikntetrazzini 2nd-May-2014 05:21 pm (UTC)
It annoys me that Chrissy Teigen thinks that's cute. It's really not.
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 05:26 pm (UTC)
i think those that deserve awards are the 'drunk in public' fucking that take place in public

like when you hear your friends say.... 'dude, we were walking home from the bars and i look over and there's these people fucking on the bench!!' because they truly dont.give.a.fuck.
chikntetrazzini 2nd-May-2014 05:53 pm (UTC)
Those are acceptable because it's hilarious. While enclosed in a tiny tube? Not so much.
dubiously 2nd-May-2014 05:55 pm (UTC)
yea I doubt they were as stealthy as they think they were
dubiously 2nd-May-2014 05:54 pm (UTC)
oh are we putting those annoying facebook & twitter buttons in ontd posts now?
im_chris_hansen 2nd-May-2014 06:02 pm (UTC)
by we, you mean, me? it's always an option. i think they've been there for a year? i like to play with them.
therearewords 2nd-May-2014 06:31 pm (UTC)
Carey's children are already three? Holy moly.
brucelynn 2nd-May-2014 07:38 pm (UTC)

Happy Friday
juanbomb 2nd-May-2014 09:07 pm (UTC)
Im pretty sure I've seen Mariah's daughter at a bus stop...
atheistkathleen 3rd-May-2014 12:29 am (UTC)
when the fuck is a michael strahan sex tape coming out? its taking forever!
fromahippie 3rd-May-2014 10:28 am (UTC)
emma stone did kick ass on the lipsynch off
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