ONTD ORIGINAL: What will be THE Summer Song of 2014?

Summer is coming, so you know what that means: it's time for one singular song to get beaten like a dead horse by the media, and those of us in America will have to suffer through it. Because of the Hot 100's nature, which takes lots of factors into consideration (radio play, sales, and Youtube views, mainly), there's always that one song that becomes inescapable everywhere you go. Personally, I find this fascinating, so I've put together a list of potential Summer Songs of 2014, based on their current chart positions and their artist's prior history of #1 singles.

Keep in mind that I'm not telling you what you're supposed to enjoy or like among these (hell, I'm probably lukewarm about half of them, at best), I just think it's fun to follow these kinds of media charts. This is all out of pure boredom and procrastination on my part, so if you feel like sharing what you're favorite songs of Summers past were, or what you think you'll be jamming to this year, go ahead! Music makes the people come together, etc. Personally, I'm rooting for "Digital Witness" by St. Vincent to smash big "Royals"-style, but I won't hold my breath.

With that said, let's get started~

Let's begin with some expectations of THE Summer Song.

General prerequisites:
* Released between the months of January and April that year, but this isn't a solid rule (example: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry and Snoop Dogg was released to radio on May 7th, 2010)
* It should be somewhere on the Hot 100 by April, even if it's the lower half of the chart
* Must be #1 on the Hot 100 for multiple weeks during the months of June and/or July, preferably both

* Ballads, unless it's a really damn good one like Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" (example: “Human” by Christina Perri)
* Songs that are too heavy on instrumental and/or lack a sung hook, because people like singing along (example: “Animals” by Martin Garrix)
* Singles that have already reached #1 by April (example: "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J)

With those in mind, the de facto Summer Songs of years past have been:

2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell
2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
2011: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett and GoonRock
2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg
2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas
2008: "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry
2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna featuring Jay-Z
2006: "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
2005: "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey
2004: "Burn" by Usher

What about 2014, though? I wouldn't be surprised if it's any of the following:

Artist: Katy Perry
Song: “Birthday"
Released: April 21st, 2014 (radio)
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #91
Prior #1s: Nine

While “Unconditionally” was a rare misfire, the runaway successes of “Roar” and “Dark Horse” bode well for Katy’s latest single. Katy’s goofy-sensual vibe always goes down easily in America --- pun not intended, but still applicable in this song's case --- so there’s little reason to suspect this won’t be a hit. But will it be the Summer Song of 2014? Maybe. Maybe not. Katy is no stranger to The Song of Summer (“I Kissed a Girl” in 2008, “California Gurls" in 2010), so it’s possible.

Artist: Iggy Azalea featuring Charli XCX
Song: “Fancy"
Released: March 3rd, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #37
Prior #1s: None (Iggy, Charli)

As little as I’m checking for Amethyst Amelia Kelly, I can't deny how massive this sounds. Thanks to a recent performance on Late Night with Seth Meyers and a quick shout out during Anna Kendrick's episode of Saturday Night Live, this track's been on the mainstream ascent for a bit. Having just cracked the Hot 100's top 40 this week, all it needs now is some high profile exposure --- a performance on The Voice, like Robin Thicke did with Blurred Lines last year? --- to catapult it to #1. Its Clueless-inspired video can't hurt its chances at viral success, either.

Artist: Pitbull featuring G.R.L.
Song: “Wild Wild Love"
Released: February 25th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #52
Prior #1s: Two (Pitbull), None (G.R.L.)

I don’t think this one needs explaining. America fucking loves Pitbull and his trash-pop singles, despite consistently being the worst part about them. Given how “Timber” peaked at #1 just a few months ago, he’s probably onto another smash here, and we'll have to suffer through another summer with him all over the media. Fun fact: G.R.L. member Lauren Bennett previously featured on 2011's Summer Song, "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO.

Artist: Austin Mahone featuring Pitbull
Song: “Mmm Yeah"
Released: January 26th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #51
Previous #1s: None (Austin), Two (Pitbull)

Because Pitbull doesn’t know when to say no, and Justin Bieber is too busy being a public trash bag to produce hits. If Austin Mahone doesn’t happen now, he never will. There can only be one twink in pop music, and it isn't him. "Mmm Yeah"'s current exposure on Aquafina Flavorsplash commercials won't hurt its chances, at least, nor will its Jamiroquai-inspired video. We'll see. I'm personally doubting it, but who knows. Maybe Joffrey Bieber's doppelgander is ready to take the throne.

Artist: Ed Sheeran
Song: “Sing"
Released: April 7th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #15
Previous #1s: None

Ed Sheeran decided to go full Justin Timberlake by way of Pharrell, and he could possibly snag a big hit in America because of it. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Artist: Avicii
Song: “Hey Brother"
Released: November 19th, 2013 (radio)
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #16
Prior #1s: None

Following in the tradition of "Wake Me Up"'s folktronica sound, I think this one's already peaked as high as it will, but who knows. It might lend itself to new chart life during the hotter months of the year.

Artist: The Chainsmokers
Song: “#SELFIE"
Released: January 29th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #16
Prior #1s: None

Beysus, help us. Hopefully, this song (if you can even call it that) will remain a novelty that people are already tiring of.

Artist: Paramore
Song: “Ain’t It Fun"
Released: February 4th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #26
Prior #1s: None

Paramore's always been fairly popular, but their latest album has two of thee band's biggest hits to show for it: "Still Into You" (with its #24 peak on the Hot 100 last year) and "Ain't It Fun," which is gaining some massive legs in mainstream popularity right now. Having hit a new peak at #26 this week, it could possibly sneak into the top 20 soon enough, but I don't think it'll hit #1. I'd love to be proven wrong, though!

Artist: 5 Seconds of Summer
Song: “She Looks So Perfect"
Released: April 1st, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #60
Prior #1s: None

One Direction by way of Blink-182. I'm not into it. Teenage girls, however...

Artist: Naughty Boy featuring Sam Smith
Song: “La La La"
Released: January 14th, 2014 (radio)
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #31
Prior #1s: None

I never really though Sam Smith would gain much traction in the US, but his collaboration with Naughty Boy from last year has been taking off lately, and his own single "Stay With Me" went top 10 on iTunes after he performed it on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago. This song is pretty deviously catchy, so I'll allow it.

Artist: Beyoncé
Song: “Partition"
Released: January 14th, 2014 (radio)
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #31
Prior #1s: Four

It's Beyoncé.

Artist: Chris Brown featuring Lil Wayne & French Montana Or Too $hort Or Tyga (there are quite a few versions of this one, hence all the credited artists)
Song: “Loyal"
Released: December 13th, 2013
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #11
Prior #1s: Two (Chris Brown), One (Lil Wayne), None (French Montana, Too $hort, Tyga)

I don't really think people are wanting for a Chris Brown comeback, but this track is doing it for him. Lots of people seem to relate with having unloyal bitches and etc. around them, so I can see where the popularity is coming from. The fact that there's about 25 different versions of this available for purchase are helping its chart prospects, too.

Artist: Justin Timberlake
Song: “Not a Bad Thing"
Released: February 25th, 2014 (radio)
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #12
Prior #1s: Four

Because Justin hasn't had a "Mirrors"-sized hit since, well, "Mirrors," and people love when he gets sappy and emotional in his music, so I wouldn't be surprised if this makes it to #1 soon enough. It's nice, in first-dance-at-a-white-people-wedding kind of way.

Artist: American Authors
Song: “Best Day of My Life"
Released: March 19th, 2013
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #11
Prior #1s: None

Don't underestimate the power of songs that are used in TV commercials and movie trailers. They will get in your head and never leave, much like this one. I don't think it'll get to #1, but it'll be a top ten hit for sure.

Artist: Florida Georgia Line featuring Luke Bryan
Song: “This is How We Roll"
Released: February 10th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #16
Prior #1s: None (Florida Georgia Line, Luke Bryan)

Country songs don't typically reach smash-status during the summer in America (or ever, really), but Florida Georgia Line had a big hit with "Cruise" last summer, so who knows. The inclusion of Luke Bryan can't hurt, either. People enjoy Luke Bryan, right? I assume so.

Artist: Calvin Harris
Song: “Summer"
Released: March 18th, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #47
Prior #1s: One

I'm only really including this one on my list because it's literally called Summer, which is an open invitation for Summer Song status if I've ever heard one. Its simplicity is pretty catchy and accessible, nonetheless, and Calvin proved he can have a hit with Rihanna's "We Found Love" a few years ago. This one will do well enough. He should have been shirtless in the video, but I digress.

Artist: Trey Songz
Song: “Na Na"
Released: January 21st, 2014
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #22
Prior #1s: One

The video for this one is pretty racy and the song itself is catchy, which already increases its chances of becoming 2014's Summer Song tenfold. It worked for Robin Thicke last year, but at least this time, there's some equal opportunity objectification going on...

Artist: DJ Snake featuring Lil Jon
Song: “Turn Down For What"
Released: December 18th, 2013
Billboard Hot 100 peak: #8
Prior #1s: None (DJ Snake), One (Lil Jon)

I'm honestly surprised this song & video haven't reached greater viral status because they're equally incredible, but maybe all they need is a little Summer to get there. This is probably the closest thing to a "Harlem Shake"-style success on here, which doesn't really sound like a good thing, but still.

These are songs that aren't charting so highly just yet and/or getting much of a push, but could very easily have sleeper-style successes during the summer:

"Marilyn Monroe" / "Come Get It Bae" by Pharrell
"Blow" by Beyoncé
"West Coast" by Lana Del Rey
"Coming of Age" / "Best Friend" by Foster The People
"I Luh Ya Papi" by Jennifer Lopez
"G.U.Y." by Lady Gaga
"Adore You" by Miley Cyrus
"Glory and Gore" / "Tennis Court" by Lorde

I might be onto something with these, but I just as easily might not be. Only time will tell. It's time to face the Clear Channel-approved music, etc.

source: me, Youtube and hella Wikipedia pages for info checking
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