"Last time you were here, we kissed a few times. I felt like we really hit it off. We had a few laughs together. It really seemed like we had some chemistry, and then the next thing I know, I hear you are engaged."
– Jimmy Kimmel, who enjoyed yet another lip-lock with groom-to-be Johnny Depp, on his late-night talk show
"I hope that George doesn't keep you up. He has been known to be particularly vocal at 3 a.m."
– Prince William, in a playful quip about 8-month-old son Prince George, at a state dinner in New Zealand
"Would you have picked me?"
– Mad Men star Jon Hamm, on his "fabulous" '90s dating show appearance, on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
"Last month, Colorado made $3.5 million in profit from marijuana. And, if you ask me, that number, just like everyone in Colorado, is super high."
– Ellen DeGeneres, trying her hand at a late-night monologue following speculation that she would take over the Late Show from David Letterman, on her daytime talk show
"In my defense, 'I was in a drunken stupor' #crackexcuse"
– Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who stripped down for the cover of Rolling Stone, on Twitter
"I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth."
– Stephen Colbert, who will replace David Letterman as host of the Late Show, in a statement
"You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist and a feminist – whatever you want to be – and still be a sexual being."
– Beyoncé, discussing the double standard when it comes to sexuality, to Out magazine
"When I was a teen idol, I was so goddamn pretty I wouldn't have taken myself seriously."
– Rob Lowe, discussing the social stigma that good-looking actors can't embody deeply troubled or interesting characters, to The New York Times Sunday Magazine
"I'm not circus fat. I didn't hugely screw up. I didn't gain 75. I gained 30."
– Kirstie Alley, who signed on (again) as a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, to PEOPLE
"She was the wildest, funniest, cleverest, wittiest and the most bonkers of all of us."
– Rocker Bob Geldof, on the sudden death of 25-year-old daughter Peaches, in a statement to the Associated Press
Which celeb has THE BEST quote this week?
Jimmy and Johnny sittin' in a tree...
Precious PG thinks he's a rooster
Jon Hamm's boybander impersonation
Julia Louis-Dreyfus and her Mayor campaign slogan
Mind the Gap
RIP Peaches Geldof
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! :-) xoxo