The Only Reality Show Where the Blonde Haired, Blue Eyed Girl Gets No Love: "Are You The One" Recap

Last week's episode of Are You the One? ended with the shocking, and heartbreaking for some, revelation that Chris T. and Paige were a perfect match. This meant that Chris T.'s ongoing romance with Shanley would be quickly broken up.

Immediately after the "Perfect Match" banner appeared in the truth booth, the explosive house fights began. And we were finally treated to the "to be continued ..." drama from last week! It started, of course, with Shanley and Simone.

The two have had tiffs since the beginning. Shanley and Chris T. weren't a match, so Simone was (rightfully) angry that they continued to spend all of their time together instead of with other people, which included their own possible perfect matches. She concocted the plan to put Chris T. and Paige in the truth booth and settle the mystery once and for all. Sneaky move, girl. And thankfully it played out.

Not long after Shanley had to be physically carried away from the argument, Kayla began throwing some major shade at Jessica. For what, you ask? For crying because of the impossibly awkward household situation and for being comforted by Ryan. So Kayla's immediate reaction was to knock over cups and throw lamps. Naturally.

And Paige herself, the same girl who has just come out with her perfect match, has found herself another suitor. Chris S. (pictured above) and Paige are clearly not a match, but why would that stop them from hooking up? Especially when Paige's real match has his own boo-thang on the side? And especially because Chris S. is a bonafide evil genius. Emphasis on the evil.

Chris S. has played mind games with Paige before. He's no stranger to manipulating a situation, telling a girl what she wants to hear, and getting his way. This week was no different. He said with "a girl like Paige, you have to get in her head by saying, 'You're so pretty, you're the only girl in this house I want.'" All right, interesting. That's creepy enough. But he goes on: "And then you smash it and you just move on."

And poor, poor Paige (seriously, girl, I hope you're not watching this) fell for his tricks. "Mission complete," he said as the cameras panned over their little night-vision tryst. "I got what I wanted."

Congratulations, Chris S. You definitely got what you wanted. You made that perfectly and abundantly clear.

And before last night's matchup ceremony, Chris S. made his move on Jacy, who he said he "would not treat the same way as Paige." Mmhmm ... sure. Girl, please don't fall for it. Please.

Chris S.'s chivalry didn't last long though. He quickly and rudely revealed his hookup with Paige in front of the entire house at the matchup ceremony. Good going, man. (Sarcasm!)

And when we finally had the matchup ceremony that took two episodes to build, the houseguests paired off as follows: Jacy and John, Kayla and Wes, Shanley and Dre, Brittany and Chris S., Simone and Joey, Jessica and Ryan, Amber and Ethan.

Most of the matches were fairly predictable. But when Kayla picked Wes instead of Ryan (who, by the way, was getting ready to walk over to her when she called Wes's name instead!), Wes had some questions. In what might be the first intelligent confrontation of the night, Wes politely asked Kayla why she chose him if she were also interested in Ryan. She couldn't answer, and Wes quickly countered with one simple yet loaded statement: "I don't chase girls who don't know what they want."

A-MEN! Thank you, Wes, for finally shedding light on the absurdity of some people's strategy. How can you expect to find your match when you don't know what you're looking for or continue being indecisive? Does this ring some "find yourself before you find love" bells?

Nevertheless, the cast only had five total perfect matches (two of which they already have identified), so that's no progress from the last ceremony. And now they only have four more chances to go 10-for-10.

For next week, we'll get a special peek into Chris T. and Paige's ridiculously uncomfortable honeymoon suite and watch as the house turns on Kayla. Let's bring it on!

Have you figured out the matches? Does anyone else want to bust out the graph paper and treat this like a logic grid puzzle?