We all use Twitter as a stream of consciousness, don't we? Ours is basically a DAILY DAIRY DIARY documenting our increasingly-serious relationship with cheese. And there are no fellas more familiar with a bit of social media sass than those One Direction boys, are there?
Whether it's Liam Payne declaring he's half human, half 'fancy candle' or Louis Tomlinson getting a bit sweary - 1D are to Twitter what Karen from accounts is to our office. Very vocal. We've even noticed the usually-quiet Zayn Malik piping up a bit recently with some rather cryptic little critters. Hmm.
Yup - we've spied el Maliko saying some pretty weird shiz lately, so we thought we'd take a little look back at some of his recent revelations in a bid to understand what's going on in his oh-so-fit brain. Yes, we think brains are fit. We don't care that they look like jelly.
Mmm. Jelly. ANYWAY, let's *analyse*.
At first, we thought these might be lyrics to some 'cool' song we've never heard of. But after some extensive research (read: a quick Google), we're still completely oblivious as to what the Bradford Bad Boy's on about. We're gonna suggest it's a subtweet aimed at his hairspray.
We can only assume that, at this point in time, Zayn was singing along to the 'hahahaha' bit of The Pussycat Dolls' Beep. Whilst dressed as Veronica Malik. Twerking in the mirror.
Do you give a motherf*ck, Maliko?
And the deepest of all...?
JK, this was him actually taking the piss pre-follow spree. Pesky scoundrel.
What d'ya make of all this, then? Can you work out what the frick Zayn's on about? It's only a matter of time before he's warning us of the surrounding snake habitats, innit?
Have you accepted Zayn Malik as your lord and savior?