There's something we've all noticed about January 2014 - from Madonna to Bieber to One Direction, there were an unusually large number of celebrity scandals, arrests, incidents, and PR snafus. In case you've zoned out over the past few weeks, here's a list of the top 12 celebrity scandals from the past 31 days.
Incidents are ranked in order from least to most earth-shattering, measured by the most scientific metric available to ONTD: comment quotient (CQ), a rough calculation of the number of comments that all posts on the subject received.
Hunter Moore arrested by FBIWhen? January 23
Revenge porn kingpin, founder of IsAnyoneUP, and walking piece of garbage Hunter Moore was arrested by the FBI and indicted on charges ranging from conspiracy to aggravated identity theft. Moore faces up to five years imprisonment if convicted.
"i loved isanyoneup it was pure gold and how i spent nights laughing with friends" — prismcess
"was one of the nights the one you got your anchor tattoo"
Scarlett Johansson quits OxfamWhen? January 30
When critics pointed out that Scarlett Johansson's new gig as the spokesperson for SodaStream (an Israeli company long criticized for operating factories in the West Bank) seemed to contradict her ambassadorship with the pro-Palestine Oxfam International, she promptly left the justice and anti-poverty organization. Proof positive that money talks and charity walks.
"pphhtt who needs human rights when u can have dat chedda am i right???" — leonardy
The Wanted break upWhen? January 22 - 25
After their latest album flopped, One Direction also-rans The Wanted announced they would be going on indefinite hiatus to "pursue personal endeavours." Though their tens of stans were heartbroken, the rest of us didn't notice until Max George went to The Sun and spilled the dirt on the internal feuds that led to the group's downfall.
"They are totes the UNwanted now" — deathcrew77
Beyoncé tributes Aaliyah, crops KellyWhen? January 17
After riding high on the release of her surprise album, ONTD was well overdue to backlash against Beyoncé. While the "XO" sampling controversy was the kneecap, the nail in the coffin was her removal of Kelly Rowland in an Instagram picture memorializing Aaliyah.
"and they both cropped out Michelle from the full pic, oop"
Talk Shit Get Hit 2014When? January 14-28
Our most hated couple scored a sort-of win after most of ONTD largely supported Kanye West's assault of an 18 year old who hurled racial epithets at Kanye and fiancee Kim Kardashian. Considering the $250k payout the kid got, I'm sure he's not mad either.
"I'm picturing this part - Kim screamed, "We have it all on tape." - as Kim being so happy for having something interesting to show on KUWTK." — rarkon
Michael B. Jordan keeps it old schoolWhen? January 10
MBJ was a rising ONTD favorite until he showed his ass in an interview with Glamour. We were all turned off by his admission that his type is someone "old school" and "comfortable in the kitchen", and though he would respect you less if you had sex on the first date, his 'checklist' goes down to "two legs" and a "pulse" after midnight.
"im taking all my earrings off
im putting them back on so i can take them off again
im so mad rn" — ctfobro
Amanda Palmer talks racismWhen? January 28
Professional attention whore Amanda Palmer took to Twitter to weigh in on a variety of topics, from Black Twitter's treatment of Macklemore to her thoughts on 12 Years A Slave. According to Amanda, the real moral of that film was "support white people".
"i bet she rsvp'd to that plantation ~feminist get together~ didn't she" — nandexdame
"She requested to bunk with LaQueeta, I think."
Hilary Duff announces divorceWhen? January 10
Outside her group of weirdly dedicated stans, few of us have been checking for Hilary Duff since 2007 (I'm being generous here). But when the Agent Cody Banks star announced her divorce from her husband of three years Mike Comrie, we were blindsided by the announcement, and then amused by Aaron Carter's subsequent thirst.
"[Aaron] sounds like half of ONTD during FFAF/Confession posts." — bprorsum
Madonna drops the N-BombWhen? January 17 - 18
Could anything get messier than Madonna posting a picture of her son on Instagram with the hashtag "disnigga" and offering a a 'sorry you were offended' non-apology? Turns out, you can make it even messier with a tweet of support from RuPaul.
"America is too obsessed with this subject." — byazrov
"I would change that icon before someone rats you out to your government, Vlad" — wetnasty
Life in Scrambles 2014When? January 14 - present
The LAPD's raid on Justin Bieber's house for felony vandalism was the spark that sent the long-sizzling Great Bieber Downfall into overdrive. Though the arrest and re-arrest of Bieber crew member Lil Za for cocaine possession seemed impossible to one-up, little did we know it was a mere prelude for events to come.
"disrespect the hen, wind up in the pen" — shanny_w
Liam Payne tweets Duck DynastyWhen? January 18
One Direction member and noted otter Liam Payne ignited a stan civil war after tweeting his support for the "family values" of Duck Dynasty cast member/homophobe Willie Robertson. Though his "freedom of speech" non-apology didn't help matters, we'll always have the memories of finding the hottest member of 1D.
"can't wait till those moppets and their clipart tattoos are 100% irrelevant" — tankmachine
Drinking Under the Influence 2014When? January 23 - present
It's two scandals for the price of one! Justin Bieber's arrest following an intoxicated drag race in Miami is the gift that keeps on giving, from his admission that his mother buys him pills to being spotted drinking with his father mere hours after posting bail. We're expecting great things from Justin in the next eleven months.
calinewarkwc69's Justin Bieber downfall calendar
What was your favorite scandal of the month?