ONTD

8:22 pm - 01/14/2014

When Hollywood Lies To Us: Great Trailers, Terrible Movies

Creating a trailer that sells a two-hour film in just two minutes is an art form in itself, especially given the notoriously short attention span of, well, everyone. There's nothing we love more than a truly great trailer, other than cold hard cash, so when a doozy comes along, we're usually salivating for more.

But sometimes, when more comes, it's usually in the shape of a crushing disappointment. Which brings us to eight great trailers which were infinitely better than the movies they were advertising.

TERMINATOR: SALVATION



What it promised: The Terminator film we deserved after the disappointing third chapter. A selection of crackly glimpses of some awesome apocalyptic imagery along with Bale's moody voiceover and that unforgettable theme kicking in at the end made us very very excited.

What it delivered: Utter disappointment, in spades Aside from some arresting visuals, the plot was half-baked and so the film became a loud mess with no human involvement.

SUCKER PUNCH



What it promised: A bold new sci-fi epic that manages to create a visually thrilling new world and, refreshingly, populate it with a strong female cast.

What it delivered: An almost incoherent excuse to combine nonsensical video game action with some offensively sexist stereotypes.


HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET



What it promised: Okay so it shows a lot of the movie but the unusual structure (teling the story backwards) is unique for a trailer and helps to suggest that it's an equally unusual Hitchcockian thriller.

What it delivered: A lurid and toothless teen thriller that used increasingly absurd twists to liven up an otherwise overly familiar storyline.


BATTLE: LOS ANGELES



What it promised: Thanks to a combination of stunning visuals and a hair-raising sample from Icelandic musician Jóhann Jóhannsson, we were expecting an action film that also delivered an emotional punch.

What it delivered: Well we were so wrong. The action was loud and dull while the characters and any attempt at emotion was utterly ham-fisted. We blame our disappointment all on that brilliant damn song.


ALONG CAME A SPIDER



What it promised: A fitting follow-up to Kiss the Girls that delivered Seven-esque suspense along with some elaborate setpieces and some genuinely surprising twists.

What it delivered: A rather plodding thriller that, aside from an opening sequence misused in the trailer, failed to deliver any actual thrills or a remotely convincing performance from Monica Potter

more @ src
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bethmai 15th-Jan-2014 02:25 am (UTC)
i kind of hate myself for enjoying sucker punch so much
tucker 15th-Jan-2014 03:14 am (UTC)
don't, it was awesome
maybutler 15th-Jan-2014 03:26 am (UTC)
I enjoyed it.
tiddlywinks103 15th-Jan-2014 03:30 am (UTC)
I don't. It was amazing visually and thought-provoking in a really uncomfortable, nasty way. Also, the action was siiiiick
meow_tan 15th-Jan-2014 03:52 am (UTC)
i loved it.
livingsign 15th-Jan-2014 03:53 am (UTC)
it's super entertaining, no shame
la_petite_singe 15th-Jan-2014 04:12 am (UTC)
It's a lot of fun, and I kinda adore Oscar Isaac's inexplicable performance, but if you think about it too much then it falls apart rill bad
missyxxmisch 15th-Jan-2014 05:40 am (UTC)
don't. Its fricken ammaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzing. I just take it for what it is.
chibik3r0 15th-Jan-2014 05:48 am (UTC)
Only thing I love about it is the Soundtrack. I still listen to it.
randommakings 15th-Jan-2014 08:10 pm (UTC)
I actually think it was a quality movie
leo_sosnine 15th-Jan-2014 11:07 pm (UTC)
why, it is awesome
lockupmytears 15th-Jan-2014 02:25 am (UTC)
missing:



Edited at 2014-01-15 02:26 am (UTC)
forcestrong 15th-Jan-2014 02:28 am (UTC)
I was expecting that recent Alien movie to make the list. For a while there, that movie+trailer was the excuse to make list articles about this subject.

oops didn't mean this as a reply. sorta works tho if we're talking about what's missing from this list.

Edited at 2014-01-15 02:29 am (UTC)
emmy0001 15th-Jan-2014 02:31 am (UTC)
This was the exact trailer that came to my mind. Fucking love that Smashing Pumpkins song though.
rhapsodeeinblue 15th-Jan-2014 02:31 am (UTC)
The Smashing Pumpkins song makes the trailer. So great.
dizzy879 15th-Jan-2014 02:35 am (UTC)
Indeed.
blue_birds 15th-Jan-2014 02:38 am (UTC)
this movie was too damn long.
hrhobo 15th-Jan-2014 02:39 am (UTC)
such a great trailer and great use of the song.
anolinde 15th-Jan-2014 02:51 am (UTC)
This was a terrible movie.

It also doesn't help that I associate it with my ex-boyfriend, who's a dick.
eraserhead 15th-Jan-2014 02:52 am (UTC)
yup. Snyder did a good job of making the visuals of the comic book come to life and that (plus the song choice) makes for a great trailer, but his grasp of the material was shallow at best so the film was a mess.
sashafarce 15th-Jan-2014 02:59 am (UTC)
will be truth until the day the planet explodes

like i have never been so disappointed coming out of a movie theater in my life
ultrasushi 15th-Jan-2014 03:00 am (UTC)
hdu watchmen was perfect.

YES EVEN THAT SUPER AWKWARD SEX SCENE.
oddbunny_dreams 15th-Jan-2014 03:16 am (UTC)
My boss let me paint a HUGE Watchmen bloody button on the window of the theater I worked at. Unfortunately A; the movie was a let down and B; prepubescent boys were quick to point out the red blood splotch looked like a three testicled penis.

Unfortunately, they weren't exactly wrong.
anydoppelganger 15th-Jan-2014 03:22 am (UTC)
fucking zack snyder. He got me excited for Man of Steel this way too. I really must be an idiot since I keep giving this hack my money.
vzylexy 15th-Jan-2014 03:23 am (UTC)
The soundtrack in Watchmen is such a mess, but that's a great choice of song for the trailer.
antique_faery 15th-Jan-2014 03:46 am (UTC)
Oh god, yes.
iotajot 15th-Jan-2014 04:06 am (UTC)
This is an awesome trailer. It almost makes me want to watch the movie again but while I liked it, towards the end, it started feeling a little too long so maybe I don’t like it as much as I like to think I do.
onesilkstocking 15th-Jan-2014 04:16 am (UTC)
lmao my first thought when i read the title ngl
piratewars 15th-Jan-2014 04:42 am (UTC)
yes, this trailer is awesome
missyxxmisch 15th-Jan-2014 05:40 am (UTC)
That's a fantastic movie.
rosewood39 15th-Jan-2014 01:45 pm (UTC)
this, the best thing about this movie was the opening credits.
emilenshook 15th-Jan-2014 02:26 am (UTC)
Prometheus
glittergary 15th-Jan-2014 02:29 am (UTC)
holy fucking shit THIS
like i have never been let down by anything more. it still makes me sad tbh.

oh and o/t but your icon is fab
emilenshook 15th-Jan-2014 02:39 am (UTC)
yeah, my expectations were so high and I totally regret paying to see it

thanks! yours is too, but that goes without saying. Queen Chastain <3
brownxeyedxdork 15th-Jan-2014 02:31 am (UTC)
YES
Definitely one of those movies where if you think about it, the angrier you get.
reluctantlylove 15th-Jan-2014 02:35 am (UTC)
I just watched it the other day and was so disappointed. The only good thing about it tbh was fassy's performance as David. I didn't like the casting of Logan Marshall Green at all.
blue_birds 15th-Jan-2014 02:38 am (UTC)
MTE
karis_azura 15th-Jan-2014 02:48 am (UTC)
so much truth. I watched the trailer over and over and was soooo excited for it! What a bummer and let down :( Even Fassy couldn't save that mess.
iamglory 15th-Jan-2014 03:01 am (UTC)
I never even saw it because I heard it was bad.
pastelstar 15th-Jan-2014 03:01 am (UTC)
MY GOD YES

it might have been made by JJ Abrams, it was so disappointing
anydoppelganger 15th-Jan-2014 03:31 am (UTC)
Such a pretty, stupid movie. It's incredible to think that at no point during the production, nobody thought to say, "Hey you guys, none of this makes any sense".
zuluuluz 15th-Jan-2014 03:58 am (UTC)
i cant even talk about it i was that disappointed
la_petite_singe 15th-Jan-2014 04:13 am (UTC)
I am still such an apologist for this movie, mostly because I adore legit everyone in the cast and also because I watched this LONG-ass BTS doc that basically explained how the studio fucked the whole thing up royally by bringing on a ~big name~ writer (you guessed it: Lindelof) to "help," or basically ruin, the original writer's script. :( We could have had it aaaaaaaall
zombieland 15th-Jan-2014 04:35 am (UTC)
I'm actually a fan of that movie, but it was still the first one to pop in my head when I read this post title.
heart_of_butter 15th-Jan-2014 05:09 am (UTC)
I am seriously the only person who likes this movie :'(
makahakat 15th-Jan-2014 02:26 am (UTC)
the only good thing about terminator: salvation was that awesome chase scene with the moto-terminators or whatever they were called
brownxeyedxdork 15th-Jan-2014 02:27 am (UTC)
I liked Superman Returns. :\
voodooizer 15th-Jan-2014 02:29 am (UTC)
same, I liked it a lot more than Man of Steel too.
zyuranger 15th-Jan-2014 02:37 am (UTC)
The hatred for it is a little over the top. I still haven't seen Man of Steel, though.
milkradio 15th-Jan-2014 02:51 am (UTC)
lol i liked that one too when i saw it. it's been years since i've watched it though, so idk how i'd feel now.
gillette 15th-Jan-2014 02:55 am (UTC)
me 2
pastelstar 15th-Jan-2014 03:33 am (UTC)
Me too. it's underrated as fuck. Man of Steel wasn't half as good.
antique_faery 15th-Jan-2014 03:52 am (UTC)
Lol same. Oop.
fallengirl81 15th-Jan-2014 06:47 am (UTC)
ditto. Loved Brandon Routh as Superman. He was really great. My only complaint was the casting of Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane (she was so terrible) and the kid storyline. I hate a kid trope.
jigglemypuff 15th-Jan-2014 02:27 am (UTC)
I'm tired of all the Paranormal Activity movies having trailers that feature scenes not in the movie.
hardinthecity 15th-Jan-2014 04:56 am (UTC)
the scenes in the paranormal trailers are scarier than the ones in the movie lol. especially the bloody mary scene from PA3.
voodooizer 15th-Jan-2014 02:27 am (UTC)
the trailer for The Unborn was pretty creepy (the old dude crab walking up the stairs and the masked dog thing, dnw) but GOD, what a terrible movie.
rarkon 15th-Jan-2014 02:29 am (UTC)
No Hobbit or Elysium?
slfrighteous 15th-Jan-2014 08:26 am (UTC)
Yeah Elysium is the first thing I thought of.
rarkon 15th-Jan-2014 02:31 am (UTC)
LMAO, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS

So fucking overhyped.



flawedinsomniac 15th-Jan-2014 02:49 am (UTC)
I haven't seen the movie but LOL this gif kills me every time
sparklekittens 15th-Jan-2014 02:57 am (UTC)
hahahahaaaaaaa
i cackle just thinking of this amazing performance
pastelstar 15th-Jan-2014 03:34 am (UTC)
lol
antique_faery 15th-Jan-2014 03:54 am (UTC)
Omg why Marion, why? She can actually act, so idgi!
michelle0187 15th-Jan-2014 03:59 am (UTC)
I can't believe they didn't edit this out of the movie
reluctantlylove 15th-Jan-2014 02:37 am (UTC)
don't fucking remind me, SO DISSAPOINTED. it was such a hot mess.
holyfrijoles_2 15th-Jan-2014 03:08 am (UTC)
This is a movie that got like ten times worse for me on the second viewing. And I really loved it when I saw it in theaters.
yurasama_love 15th-Jan-2014 03:10 am (UTC)
This movie was a fucking mess
antique_faery 15th-Jan-2014 03:53 am (UTC)
It was a MESS.
saintssin 15th-Jan-2014 04:23 am (UTC)
This movie could have been great. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many errors.
hardinthecity 15th-Jan-2014 04:58 am (UTC)
i liked it when i saw it in theaters. but i think i was playing off the fun energy of the crowd because i watched it at home and loled the whole time
faunyoudork 15th-Jan-2014 07:54 am (UTC)
the accuracy brings tears to my eyes
spufs 15th-Jan-2014 08:25 am (UTC)
agreed
prophecypro 15th-Jan-2014 09:41 am (UTC)
This movie is catching way too much hate since it got released. Had some plotholes but I liked the scope and the performances of Anne and Tom were particularly enjoyable.
lestat 15th-Jan-2014 02:30 am (UTC)
i love sucker punch and its ost so w/e. i am suspicious of trailers with inception music
blue_birds 15th-Jan-2014 02:40 am (UTC)
I hate the version Snyder was forced to put out but I love the soundtrack.
lestat 15th-Jan-2014 02:43 am (UTC)
yeah, the director's cut >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> theatrical
missyxxmisch 15th-Jan-2014 05:44 am (UTC)
Sucker punch blew me away when I first saw it. Cos I don't think I had ever watched a movie like that. I also love vidding, so Zack's films really appeal to me, as I like to put music to clips, like a little mini video. And he said he liked to that as well when he was younger. so ya.
anolinde 15th-Jan-2014 02:51 am (UTC)
whaaaaaaaaaaaat

though ngl I'm forever pressed that Alexander/Hephaestion never kissed and instead we had to watch Alexander/Bagoas, like who the fuck was checking for that.
rhapsodeeinblue 15th-Jan-2014 02:30 am (UTC)
I remember this was the preview for Dinosaur on my Tarzan VHS and it looked AMAZING and got me so excited. But then the movie turned out to be awful and marked the ~end of the 90s Disney Renaissance and yeah.

arcticmonkeys 15th-Jan-2014 02:40 am (UTC)
omg it was so bad
blue_birds 15th-Jan-2014 02:41 am (UTC)
lmao I blocked this out :(
malarkiness 15th-Jan-2014 02:44 am (UTC)
omg I remember watching my Tarzan VHS almost every night before I went to sleep and this preview always came up. I had to fast-forward it because some of the dinosaurs scared me. D:

I think I liked this movie when I was a kid, but now I catch all the annoying modern talk and catchphrases and it's just so grating. The score's pretty good, though.

Edited at 2014-01-15 02:47 am (UTC)
chiixhideki 15th-Jan-2014 02:52 am (UTC)
lmao i loved this as a kid tbh

still kinda enjoy it negl
gillette 15th-Jan-2014 02:56 am (UTC)
oop I own this on bluray
missyxxmisch 15th-Jan-2014 05:44 am (UTC)
haha!
midnight_lite 15th-Jan-2014 02:57 am (UTC)
omg this movie. I still love how they were able to make this movie but...yeah. That's about it.
sparklekittens 15th-Jan-2014 03:00 am (UTC)
ugh, i haaaaate this movie, but my mom loved it and watched it all the time. tortured me with it. lol
quixotomy 15th-Jan-2014 09:45 am (UTC)
omg i loved this movie and still do

but then i am fucking obsessed with dinosaurs so w/e
lestat 15th-Jan-2014 02:44 am (UTC)
yessss
onesilkstocking 15th-Jan-2014 04:20 am (UTC)
aww same bb <3
faunyoudork 15th-Jan-2014 07:56 am (UTC)
yesss
the escapism is what spoke to me
adalmin 15th-Jan-2014 02:10 pm (UTC)
That speech from Dr. Gorski always gives me life.
saybonjour 15th-Jan-2014 02:33 am (UTC)
idk what people expected from bad teacher. not a classic comedy for the ages, but it was fun.

title or description
klossier 15th-Jan-2014 03:17 am (UTC)
i love this movie tbh
loveablescar 15th-Jan-2014 03:23 am (UTC)
I thought it was enjoyable too. My friends were always so serious about how bad they thought it was. Likee Justin Timberlake is in... calm down

Edited at 2014-01-15 03:23 am (UTC)
tucker 15th-Jan-2014 03:24 am (UTC)
bad teacher was great I adore it, such a surprise

changes I would make-
recast Justin Timberlake, tho he was good in his role as a ew he's gross don't go out with him kind of guy, I hate him and hate watching him in movies

and then you could argue the way they did the movie kept with the spirit of her being truly bad, but I personally would have gone with the hollywood cop out where she hears about the cash prize and just teaches them really hard so they win instead of her cheating

/no1curr
acidrain0789 15th-Jan-2014 03:34 am (UTC)
fuck everyone, this movie is amazing
jerriblank 15th-Jan-2014 03:53 am (UTC)
Love this movie
livingsign 15th-Jan-2014 03:56 am (UTC)
this movie's great fuq the haters
dman108 15th-Jan-2014 04:20 am (UTC)
I just fucking love Cameron for showing that YES a woman can carry a movie.
korralin 15th-Jan-2014 07:30 am (UTC)
I had never seen a a trailer or promo for this so I had zero expectations and I loved it!
faunyoudork 15th-Jan-2014 07:56 am (UTC)
too much blue comedy idk
kirby_b 16th-Jan-2014 12:55 am (UTC)
fucking love this movie
antique_faery 15th-Jan-2014 04:03 am (UTC)
Yes, ia!
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