2:28 pm - 01/11/2014

Cameron Diaz: Girls Are Under Too Much Pressure To Look Good

Simon Boyle for The Daily Mail writes:
In an exclusive interview with You magazine, the star of There’s Something About Mary and The Counsellor, says girls are under too much pressure to ‘look good’. Diaz, who is working on a new film adaptation of the musical Annie, said: ‘On the set of Annie, we have all these little super-sweet girls who are extras and they come up to me and say, “Oh Cammie, you are so pretty, your hair is so pretty, your clothes are so pretty.” And that’s sweet, but it worries me that girls are conditioned to value themselves and judge each other by the way they look. I try to let them know that being “pretty” will not sustain them.’

The actress adds: ‘I resist that instinctive urge to say, “Oh, you are so cute” and instead ask, “What grade are you in at school?” or “What is your favourite subject? Because every time we address our daughters or our nieces by saying, “You look lovely today” we are reinforcing the idea that the most important thing for a woman is to look good.

Diaz’s comments on body image appear in her new lifestyle guide called The Body Book, an extract from which is also included in this week’s You magazine. However, the 41-year-old reveals she was less body-confident at the start of her career. ‘I had such bad acne that I spent half my time trying to hide from my friends, from the cameras, from everyone,’ she explains. ‘So I wrote the book for my 16-year-old self, who I look back on and think, “Why didn’t I know these things back then?”’

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grammaire 11th-Jan-2014 11:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Tips.
sarahvma 11th-Jan-2014 11:02 pm (UTC)
The actress adds: ‘I resist that instinctive urge to say, “Oh, you are so cute” and instead ask, “What grade are you in at school?” or “What is your favourite subject?

I catch myself doing that a lot, and it worries me. I'd never think to say to a little boy, "Oh, you're looking good." Cute, maybe. But even then it means something else.
noon 11th-Jan-2014 11:03 pm (UTC)
m t e
uncletam 11th-Jan-2014 11:04 pm (UTC)
I never say that to kids, maybe to their parents because I feel obligated to say SOMETHING when they show me pics. But if I talk directly to children, I always ask questions that I'd ask an adult...lol.
my_moloko 11th-Jan-2014 11:14 pm (UTC)
Same here. I have a little niece and I try so hard not to do it but at the same time it's tough not to because she's sf cute. Also right now she's so little there's not much else to comment on.
summerswings 12th-Jan-2014 05:30 am (UTC)
I mean, I know it's lame but you could ask her what she likes to do, like dancing or drawing or painting. Little kids always wanna be doing something fun and you can ask if they wanna practice a handstand or something and then praise their effort and their attempts and continuing to practice and like perseverance and shit

my youngest second cousin just turned 8 and everyone is always going on about how adorable she is so I asked her what her favourite book is and we talked about matildas for four seconds and then she segued into having a boyfriend and my shoes. I fail.

mavis_gary 11th-Jan-2014 11:15 pm (UTC)
same. its something I really try to be conscious of, which is kinda worrisome tbh. Bc they really are so cute, it's hard not to remark on it but I work to minimize the focus on looks and stuff like that.

with my nieces or little girls I always make such a point to encourage the actions they're doing instead of their looks or clothes, like "good walking", "great creative drawing", "nice sharing", etc. These phrases sound kinda silly typed out but tbh, I don't think anyone positively encouraged me like that growing up.
winegums 11th-Jan-2014 11:20 pm (UTC)
I tell my nieces and nephews they look smart, if they're neatly dressed/made an effort, and complimenting outfits is ok, but I avoid commenting on their looks. Not that it makes much difference bc literally everyone else in my family has no boundaries and will discuss their opinion of a child's looks right in front of them, but I won't participate.

(I tried to explain to my mother that it was wrong, especially for girls, and she gave me this long spiel about how boys have it worse and are under more pressure to look good because she read like one article about 'metrosexuals' and completely avoided the point, it kind of reminds me why I didn't speak to her for three years)
adb7 11th-Jan-2014 11:21 pm (UTC)
I do this all the time. I need to stop.
endingonfire 11th-Jan-2014 11:31 pm (UTC)
I read an article about that and when you stop and think about it, it really is fucked how that's my first instinct. There really needs to be a different kind of enagagement with children, especially girls.
saintvlas22 11th-Jan-2014 11:43 pm (UTC)
Wow, Cameron Diaz dropping knowledge all up in here.

That's a very good point and definitely something I'll try not to do from now on.
divorcer 11th-Jan-2014 11:49 pm (UTC)
Yeah, a friend's daughter gave me this book/diary thing to fill out, where you answer some questions about yourself and then write something just for her, and alllllllllll of the previous pages had sentences like "i wish for you to grow up and be really pretty!" "grow up to become as pretty as your mom!" "hope you become the prettiest lady ever!" etc.

so I made it a point to write something along the lines of "grow up to be the smartest girl in school, be clever, creative etc"
miamaimi 11th-Jan-2014 11:54 pm (UTC)
it never occurred to me until now : /
genbu_no_miko24 12th-Jan-2014 12:05 am (UTC)
Huh I had never thought of that.
blue_birds 12th-Jan-2014 12:05 am (UTC)
same. I definitely need to work on that.
socialtrends 12th-Jan-2014 12:19 am (UTC)
Me too. I never realized how often I did this until now. Cammy D opening my eyes to some new shit.
umhowabout_no 12th-Jan-2014 12:43 am (UTC)
I do this. I visited family recently and everyone told the girls "you're so pretty!" and I'd ask them what they want to be when they grow up instead.

Even with my creepy super, he's always telling me how beautiful I am and i just want to yell at him, "I'm more than a pretty face!! I'm also passionate about the environment, am learning sign language, and I'm really good at proof reading!"
devilsadvocate 12th-Jan-2014 03:20 am (UTC)
But if no one tells them they look cute, wouldn't that make them feel ugly or like something is wrong?

There is no way to win.
evawhimsy 11th-Jan-2014 11:06 pm (UTC)
little weird to be saying this during promotion of a book that is so focused with external beauty even though the book purports to be about ~inner beauty~ and ~health~
proenzaschouler 11th-Jan-2014 11:27 pm (UTC)
i don't have a problem w/ it tbh. theres nothing wrong with the stuff in the book, theres nothing wrong with women wanting to be beautiful and the book IS pretty health-centric. i don't think it's weird of her to say this at all, it's important. shame u feel compelled to nitpick at a solid message though
evawhimsy 11th-Jan-2014 11:50 pm (UTC)
lol ok. the cover of her book prominently displays her toned body and photoshopped face, and she's standing next to her self mag cover which is peppered with headlines like "5 meals that help you slim down." i can't help but rme at the blatant hypocrisy of the image in the post but if you want to dismiss that as nitpicking then i don't really care.
oltschi 11th-Jan-2014 11:10 pm (UTC)
I like the fact that she's very open about her acne. It really pisses me off when people are poking fun at other people's skin issues. I've never had it but one of my friends does and when she tells me that sometimes she feels like killing herself because she can't look at herself in the mirror it breaks my heart ):
pineandapple 11th-Jan-2014 11:11 pm (UTC)
Has she tried treatment?
oltschi 11th-Jan-2014 11:16 pm (UTC)
Yes, she has... It's a little bit better now because she gets chemical peels (I think). But she still suffers a lot because of it.
bienenkiste 11th-Jan-2014 11:49 pm (UTC)
omg :(
has she tried accutane though? i know it has some pretty shitty side effects but my sister (who had A LOT of acne)used it for a while and her skin cleared up for good
genbu_no_miko24 12th-Jan-2014 12:06 am (UTC)
thats so horrible! :(
devilsadvocate 12th-Jan-2014 03:21 am (UTC)
I think a lot of it is also diet
graveyardgirl7 11th-Jan-2014 11:11 pm (UTC)
This is so important. It's been so ingrained all my life to prioritize my looks and image that I've only recently been able to sincerely say fuck it and care more about being able to take pride in ~who I am as a person~ and my intellectual abilities. Like I always -knew- what I should be more concerned with but I was so conditioned to make matters of attraction take center stage that I didn't realize how much I was suffering by neglecting to cultivate a deeper sense of self :(
mavis_gary 11th-Jan-2014 11:29 pm (UTC)
Agreed. This comment really resonates.
endingonfire 11th-Jan-2014 11:34 pm (UTC)
I agree so much. I wish I didn't have the urge to adjust and pay attention to my appearance over other important things.
athwartship 12th-Jan-2014 12:10 am (UTC)
i'm not there yet...maybe one day
polarbearmilk 12th-Jan-2014 03:37 am (UTC)
i love you for realizing this! it's a very uplifting feeling, imo
winegums 11th-Jan-2014 11:14 pm (UTC)
The premium placed on the looks of women and even very young (we're talking age in single digits) girls is disgusting sometimes.

My mother is really gorgeous by our standards, and the minute people heard she had a daughter, the first question out of their mouths was always 'does she look like you?'

Not 'how old is she?', or literally ANYTHING else you could ask about a strange child, but about my looks. I would bet money that they would not have asked about the looks of a son, if she said she had one.
lostinshalott 12th-Jan-2014 12:12 am (UTC)
ommmmg your icon <3 I finished masters sun last week and now I'm stuck with no dramas to watch
winegums 12th-Jan-2014 12:31 am (UTC)
lol I keep rewatching my fav episodes sometimes, but they're the best OTP I've seen all year.

If you're looking for currently airing dramas, how about You From Another Star, or Miss Korea, or the Prime Minister & I? They're all pretty good.
theuglycry 11th-Jan-2014 11:15 pm (UTC)
how brave of her to admit that she had acne, what a life she's had.
zweigesicht 12th-Jan-2014 12:37 am (UTC)
maishi_obuki 12th-Jan-2014 12:58 am (UTC)
she still has acne.

Apparently the skin treatments work for a time then it just works less or stops working.

and hollywood is so high pressure
cryinonthemetro 12th-Jan-2014 02:22 am (UTC)
people can be really cruel about acne though. especially if you still have it after high school. I don't have a lot going for me looks-wise but I am very grateful that I have clear skin
polarbearmilk 12th-Jan-2014 03:37 am (UTC)
my_moloko 11th-Jan-2014 11:15 pm (UTC)
I really love that she's speaking out about this. It's so hard for young girls to learn that there's more to them than their looks.
vonlisbon 11th-Jan-2014 11:15 pm (UTC)
Not being sarcastic
her message is great
no denying anything quoted here

but hearing "I try to let them know that being “pretty” will not sustain them" from someone who has made millions upon millions by being pretty is....... let's say, awkward. Her life is literally financially sustained by her looks. Yes, Cameron, tell them how you would have the exact same bank statement if you looked like a troll. Go on.
montag_heidi 11th-Jan-2014 11:21 pm (UTC)
she probably is starting to understand that though since she's aged terribly
vonlisbon 11th-Jan-2014 11:22 pm (UTC)
tbh I think she looks way better now (at least in movies) than she did younger.
winegums 11th-Jan-2014 11:25 pm (UTC)
she looks ok for 41, though. Not particularly haggard or anything beyond the usual lines/thinner face.
mavis_gary 11th-Jan-2014 11:25 pm (UTC)
you think? I don't think she's aged amazingly~~ or anything but I thought she looked pretty hot in Bad Teacher.
proenzaschouler 11th-Jan-2014 11:28 pm (UTC)
she's 41 and white, i'd fucking die of happiness if i look as good as she does when i'm 41
divorcer 11th-Jan-2014 11:53 pm (UTC)
yeah no that's just called regular aging. this is why i feel kinda bad for celebrities (yeah yeah i know they can go cry in their piles of money) - since everyone's seen them at their best, at their youngest and prettiest, when they get older it's like "wow what happened?" aging, that's what.

(although tbf cameron has been out in the sun a lot, so her skin could look slightly better, but who gives a fuck)
winegums 11th-Jan-2014 11:22 pm (UTC)
where is the lie

I would take this a wee bit more seriously if it wasn't coming from the promotional efforts of someone who ticks all the Hollywood boxes of conventional beauty despite her younger-days bad skin, but at least she said something.
mavis_gary 11th-Jan-2014 11:24 pm (UTC)
ok maybe it's kinda awkward coming from her, but that doesn't make the message any less true for the majority of the female population.
lil_creamsoda 11th-Jan-2014 11:30 pm (UTC)
lol this truth rn
proenzaschouler 11th-Jan-2014 11:32 pm (UTC)
it seems to me like you're attaching a lot of value to disposable income which isn't a good message either. maybe i'm reading you wrong? but sustaining doesn't even necessarily mean financial gain at all
_quietriot_ 11th-Jan-2014 11:35 pm (UTC)
But she wasn't necessarily referring to financial sustainability. And it's not like every pretty girl can rely on the possibility of becoming a world famous movie star anyway.
devilsadvocate 12th-Jan-2014 03:22 am (UTC)
I agree, and I also think that is stupid to tell people to ignore looks when clearly looks are HIGHLY VISIBLE!

That's like telling someone "just ignore sugar, and only eat salad for the rest of your life and you'll never gain weight! :-)"

Ummm, highly impractical, illogical advice. You can't change the truth and reality.
flyfingers7 IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?11th-Jan-2014 11:22 pm (UTC)
becuz i need some help. i went crazy on friday and ate 5 dougnuts in the course of the day(they were so fucking good omg). i'm still craving them so i'm to detox the sugar crave from my body with natural fruits and vegetables. I bought this 5 oz tub of baby greens (bok choy, cilantro, arugla etc) and i just CAN'T eat it. i ate a tiny cup with some chicken and i dry heaving through the entire thing. how the hell can i down this shit?? ( don't tell me to juice i have a shitty blender)
x0sweetbliss Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?11th-Jan-2014 11:25 pm (UTC)
Season your veggies! You can use olive oil/coconut oil, spices, garlic, onions, sauces, etc.
flyfingers7 Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?11th-Jan-2014 11:28 pm (UTC)
but that's what i did! i fried it up with some garlic, ginger and a little adobo, but omg i could still taste the greens.

i just need them to not taste so damn bitter
uncletam Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?11th-Jan-2014 11:30 pm (UTC)
Saute the bok choy with garlic? Arugula is good raw with lemon, salt, and pepper.
squirrelsarerad Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?11th-Jan-2014 11:40 pm (UTC)
I'm that way rn with salad....it's grossing me out SO BAD right now, like there's a big tub of spring mix lettuce in the fridge and I can't even look at it, let alone actually eat it. I'm okay with fruit and other veggies but I can't handle salad for some reason.
alwayscavs Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?11th-Jan-2014 11:41 pm (UTC)
do you have any orange juice? i sometimes use a little oj as seasoning and love it
winegums Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?12th-Jan-2014 12:03 am (UTC)
girl do you HAVE to eat them raw? I'd say sling them in a pot with some seasoning and turn them into soup (if you add some other healthy stuff like chicken, I guess), that tends to be easier to choke down than eating them raw.

evawhimsy Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?12th-Jan-2014 12:08 am (UTC)
i admire your will power and effort bb! hmm bok choy is delish when it's sauteed with sesame oil and salt and pepper. arugula is better raw tbh. not sure why they're all mixed together, i've never heard of that particular combo.
devilsadvocate Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?12th-Jan-2014 03:23 am (UTC)
Sugar is the fucking devil. Eat only sugar free items. The more sugar you have, the more your sugar demon will try to make you eat them.
daddyissues Re: IS THIS A HEALTH/FITNESS POST?12th-Jan-2014 01:33 pm (UTC)
you could try what i do with spinach - just smush as many leaves as you can into your hand and eat it all in one go without breathing through your nose? OR if you heavily marinade your chicken, that can overpower the taste of the salad?
soupdupcosmogrl 11th-Jan-2014 11:23 pm (UTC)
Well, whatever, she isn't like the rest of us fugmos.
banana68 11th-Jan-2014 11:27 pm (UTC)
can someone help me??? i have IBS and am rly depressed because i feel like i can't eat anything. i also don't eat most meat except for fish
flyfingers7 11th-Jan-2014 11:35 pm (UTC)
can you describe you IBS to me? lately it seems i really can't eat anything that has cheese. which may make me lactose intolerant but it seems i can't eat certain meats and such either without running to the bathroom in 20 minutes and staying their for 40.
banana68 11th-Jan-2014 11:41 pm (UTC)
i don't think you have IBS, you're probably just lactose intolerant
most people with IBS can digest meat.
when u have IBS doctors recommend something called a low fodmap diet in IBS (you can google it) it basically means that foods low in short chain carbohydrates are more easily digestable for IBS sufferers. meat is pretty much the only food group where an IBS sufferer can eat pretty much all of it

if you feel like u cant tolerate meat for whatever reason tho, def a good opportunity to not eat it
alwayscavs 11th-Jan-2014 11:36 pm (UTC)
can you replace some of the things you like with gluten free versions? for ex. my sister can't eat gluten so eats things like rice pasta and corn tortillas instead of flour. they also make some really good gluten free deserts
opusdeihohoho 12th-Jan-2014 12:10 am (UTC)
probiotic capsules
you can look it up before you take them
devilsadvocate 12th-Jan-2014 03:23 am (UTC)
What about if you just eat raw?
closetotheflame 11th-Jan-2014 11:38 pm (UTC)
I might take her POV a little more seriously if she weren't half-naked, looking flawless, on the cover of her book.
zlatanwhy 11th-Jan-2014 11:42 pm (UTC)
this is a great change of heart from someone who once said 'every woman wants to be objectified!!!'

i have little cousins visiting and seeing the differences in how my mother treats the boy and the girl is so disheartening and explains a lot about the shit i internalized.
summerswings 12th-Jan-2014 05:34 am (UTC)
urgh this is the thing

I feel like I can try to be positive with all my little cousins and stuff but im not their parent or their teacher or their friends so it doesn't contribute much to them being told to be pretty and dress interestingly and always do their hair nails etc.
_quietriot_ 11th-Jan-2014 11:47 pm (UTC)
The pressure to look attractive can be difficult and painful for all women, no matter what they look like. That's why I don't agree when people say things like "what does she know about it, she's conventionally attractive."

If a non conventially attractive woman wanted to talk about this shit, people would accuse them of being bitter and jealous because they're not pretty. So who exactly is "allowed~" to talk about it?

I think it might possibly be helpful, to some people, to know that all women are kind of in this together so it's not an 'us vs them' thing.
foryoursake08 11th-Jan-2014 11:56 pm (UTC)
If a non conventially attractive woman wanted to talk about this shit, people would accuse them of being bitter and jealous because they're not pretty. So who exactly is "allowed~" to talk about it?

mte. If we go "well, she can't talk about this because she's x,y,z", then everyone gets pushed aside and no one can be taken seriously. Everyone should be allowed to speak, regardless. Cameron has lived through a career where she has benefited from beauty (although most people I know don't consider her conventionally attractive), so why shouldn't she tell kids how harmful it is?

I don't take her any less seriously because she's benefited in some way from being pretty
mavis_gary 11th-Jan-2014 11:56 pm (UTC)
A+ comment
winegums 12th-Jan-2014 12:05 am (UTC)
I wouldn't have a problem with her saying this, if she did acknowledge the role that looking a certain way has played in her own life. Without that, the message comes off a bit odd from her, imo.
_quietriot_ 12th-Jan-2014 12:19 am (UTC)
IDK, I just don't find it odd. I sort of get what you're saying, if you mean that she should acknowledge the fact that beauty has helped her out a lot in her career. But it kind of goes without saying IMO, so maybe that's why she didn't feel the need to mention it.
But the way I see it, just because beauty has helped her, doesn't mean she agrees with the "system". And it doesn't mean she hasn't felt the effects of the pressure to be pretty, in her own way. She's not speaking from the point of view of someone who has never felt what it's like to be considered attractive. She's talking from the POV of someone who has been expected to maintain her attractiveness at all costs. They're two slightly different things, but they're part of the same system. Not everyone can relate to her experiences but they are still valid.
genbu_no_miko24 12th-Jan-2014 12:17 am (UTC)
IA. Also even though Cameron fits into the hollywood mold…it doesn't exactly make unique as when she is getting older a new of breed prettier, younger, similar looking actresses start coming in. Also she probably had to compete for roles with other it hollywood it-girls which similar or better features.

Edited at 2014-01-12 12:17 am (UTC)
evawhimsy 12th-Jan-2014 12:22 am (UTC)
she actively perpetuates those fucked up values though through her business dealings. great, she talks to kids in a way that is productive. but what about everything else? her half naked body on that book cover and photoshopped skin says it all.
tiddlywinks103 12th-Jan-2014 12:53 am (UTC)
Thank you. So many assholes in here, trying to fly by the point at Mach 5.

rockstarsex 12th-Jan-2014 01:08 am (UTC)
secretly 12th-Jan-2014 01:37 am (UTC)

beautiful women are pressured by society too
devilsadvocate 12th-Jan-2014 03:24 am (UTC)
And that pressure will never go away, so you either look good or you don't and get shit for it. You'll get shit for looking good anyway from haters. Take your pick.

I'm not trying to be bitchy BTW, just unrealistic. The whole concept of this book is SO unrealistic.
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