GOT: 10 most idiotic mistakes characters made

Honorable Mention: Robert getting drunk while hunting

All Robert Baratheon wanted to do was “crack skulls and fuck girls.” Oh, and get shit-faced drunk 24-7. It was his drunkenness and debauchery that made him one of the most fun characters to watch in season 1 of Game of Thrones. We chuckled as Robert taunted Lancel Lannister to find his breastplate stretcher. We snickered as he made Jaime Lannister stand outside his door as he slept with countless whores. We all but cheered as he “honored” his queen Cersei with a slap to her smug face. Unfortunately, Robert’s penchant for inebriation was also his downfall.

Robert gets so drunk during his hunting trip that he is mortally wounded by a boar. Varys later insinuates that Lancel was a little too free with that wine but in reality it’s Robert’s own fault for being so used to being sauced. But had Robert successfully killed that boar and avoided a tusk to the belly and survived any other potential “accidents” on his way back to King’s Landing, he would have woken up with far worse than his usual hangover. He would’ve awoken to Ned informing him about Cersei’s tryst with her brother, the fact that his heirs were not really his heirs, and would’ve ordered their immediate deaths. I hope that wine was worth leaving your kingdom in chaos, Robert.

9.Robb marrying Talisa

On the surface, Robb and Talisa make for a great love story. The young, energetic King in the North, commander of the army of the North meets a noblewoman from the Free City of Volantis, serving as a nurse to a wounded Lannister. Robb assists her. The two strike up a conversation. She criticizes the war and Robb’s involvement in it. She challenges him and he likes it. She travels with Robb’s army and the two become closer. After Catelyn betrays Robb by releasing Jaime Lannister in the hope of retrieving Arya and Sansa, Talisa comforts Robb. The two sleep together. Because he genuinely loves her and cannot bear to see her dishonored by his own indiscretion, Robb marries her. It’s a beautiful story. Except for one thing: Robb had previously promised Walder Frey that he would marry one of his daughters in other to grant his army passage across the Twins. And Walder Frey is not going to be to happy about Robb’s marriage to another woman.

Yes, Robb marrying Talisa was the single biggest mistake of his life and would ultimately lead to his death, along with the death of his wife, mother, and most of his army. With this one boneheaded move, the Young Wolf who had previously won every battle his army had engaged in during the War of Five Kings would doom House Stark’s claim to Winterfell, the North’s involvement in the war, prevent Arya from being reunited with her family, and ensure Joffrey and House Lannister’s hold on the Iron Throne. And all for “firm tits and a tight fit.”

3. Ned alerting Cersei of his plan

Ned made a lot;and I mean A LOT–of mistakes during his tenure as Hand of the King, but this is absolutely, 100 percent, the coup de grâce of horrible, horrible mistakes. Ned reveals that he has discovered the truth that cost Jon Arryn his life and that he plans to tell Robert as soon as he returns from his hunt. He gives Cersei the opportunity to flee King’s Landing with her children to spare their lives from Robert’s wrath. Cersei is unfazed by this, of miso just course, as she has been playing this game for some time and isn’t about to lose this battle of wills to an opponent who is inexperienced enough with the way of things in King’s Landing as to show her mercy. She warns him, “when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.”

You can point to a lot of Ned’s decisions and make a legitimate case for each one as being his worst mistake. But this one really the cake. Before he even has the chance to reject Renly’s offer, before he even decides to confide in Littlefinger and secure the aid of the City Watch, he reveals his plan to the very person he is ousting as an incestuous traitor. I get that Ned’s trying to do the right thing and allow them the opportunity to flee with their lives, but this is just a poor decision. He gives Cersei ample time to prepare for Robert’s return and to protect herself and her son. Even if Ned had taken Renly’s offer, it’s likely Cersei would have been prepared for an impending attack in the night. And Littlefinger coming through with the City Watch? That was never going to happen–ever. Ned may not have had much hope in deposing the king with only the truth he had discovered and Robert’s will, but what little chance he had went out the window with this blunder.

2. Ned becoming hand of the king

Eddard Stark had things good in the North. Besides being Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, he had a devoted wife, a loving family, and a people that both respected and loved him. So what would possess Ned to accept Robert’s request to serve as his new Hand of the King after the death of Jon Arryn? Well, as I’ve already noted numerous times in this article, Ned is honorable. Oh boy, is he honorable. So in spite of the fact that his old buddy Robert is a drunken sleaze who has no business being king (or perhaps because of it), Ned accepts the position, uproots his daughters, splits up his family, and sets into a motion a series of events that would leave Westeros in chaos for years to come.

Granted Jon Arry.nn had already deduced that Robert’s heirs were the children of incest between Cersei and Jaime. But who’s to say someone else wouldn’t have picked up the trail Arryn left and also been able to deduce the truth? Or not. Either way, Ned would have saved his family and the realm a whole lot of grief if he’d listened to his wife and stayed in Winterfell. Then again, you try to say no to Robert Baratheon and see how that turns out.

1. Jaime and Cersei engaging in twincest

Imagine a Westeros wherein Cersei and Jaime were not engaging in a long incestuous affair that produced her only three children. Imagine if Cersei were a loyal wife to Robert and had borne him legitimate children to serve as true heirs to the Iron Throne. Imagine if Jaime served his position as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard with dignity and honor, holding Robert in the high regard that one should have for their king. Can you imagine it? Me neither. But it sounds extraordinarily boring.

Seriously, though, all the death and grief and overall terrible events that have befallen Westeros can be pinpointed to these two not being able to keep it in their pants. The knowledge that Joffrey is the son of his mother and his uncle, and not of Robert Baratheon ultimately ends in the deaths of Jon Arryn and Ned Stark. And c’mon, Lannister lovers, if you knew Jon Arryn had found out about your affair and inbreeding, surely you could have at least destroyed the evidence showing that Baratheon children were all black-haired. After all, Grand Maester Pycell seemed willing to lend his book The Lineages and Histories of the Great Houses of the Seven Kingdoms to just about anyone. A little discretion on the Lannister’s part could have spared Westeros from utter chaos.