"Unfortunately, we can't show you the completely uncensored version," claims TMZ before proceeding to add insult to injury by offering up the worst consolation prize since the participation ribbon: Footage of the TMZ staff watching the uncensored version of the video for themselves.
Despite TMZ's intentional lack of context, it's been determined that the video was recorded during Kate Upton's photoshoot for Complex magazine two years ago.
It's unclear why the video is just surfacing now, but since TMZ seems to own the exclusive publishing rights, it's unlikely we'll be seeing an uncensored version anytime soon.
That's the bad news.
video via TMZ ; article via Gawker