"I can't..... Umm... Care to explain @SimonCowell???"
– Demi Lovato, posting an old-school photo of her fellow X Factor judge, on Twitter
"Loose, like 'I just got out of bed, maybe had a romp' hair."
– Jennifer Aniston, on her planned hairdo for her upcoming nuptials, to Marie Claire
"I will be the leader of a company that ends up being worth billions of dollars, because I got the answers. I understand culture. I am the nucleus."
– Kanye West, to The New York Times
"Apparently, they needed a virgin to sacrifice to the football gods and Tebow fit the bill."
– Jimmy Kimmel, on the New England Patriots signing devout Christian Tim Tebow to their roster, in his monologue
"When I'm the nerd guy, I want to be the first black man with a comb-over."
– Jamie Foxx, on his hair inspiration for his Amazing Spider-Man 2 character Max Dillon, on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno
"We practiced our kiss. It was a big deal! You want it to be just enough."
– Kristin Cavallari, who wed Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler on June 8, to PEOPLE
"Who's your daddy?"
– Russell Crowe, whose Man of Steel persona, Superman's father Jor-El, was immortalized as a Lego figurine, on Twitter
"Does @Twitter have a family share plan? Great to be here with @HillaryClinton & @ChelseaClinton. Looking forward to #tweetsfromhillary."
– Former President Bill Clinton, welcoming wife Hillary to the social media site, on Twitter
"I'm like a bad-girl Martha. A Martha with a couple glasses of wine and a little bit of trouble."
– Newly minted cookbook author Ali Larter, comparing herself to lifestyle guru Martha Stewart, to E!
"Hey TMZ … bite me."
– Ian Ziering, taking a jab at the celebrity gossip site after they called him fat, during his Chippendales debut
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
Demi in awe of Simon's beauty
A quote about Aniston and her hair
Kanye's ego is too big to fit in a nucleus
Brady's Bitch Tebow
Nerd Alert Foxxx
CHEER UP TUGGAH
Martha Stewart drinks 40's of Old E