We noticed a trend amongst the Disney Villains: they all have signature songs they sing about themselves. Furthermore, almost all of these signature songs are amazing. We’ll venture to say that they’re sometimes the high points of their respective films, musically speaking, of course. So we did what we do: ranked these songs on a scale from one to fabulous.
Scar – “Be Prepared”
Scar is an expert crooner of villainous plots. He has style, a strong will to power, hyena backup singers, and the best bone-rattling percussion of all the villains’ songs. We love the whole song, but especially the part where he tiptoes along to his own lyrics. Bonus points to Scar for adding in that little flourish.
Favorite line: “Meticulous planning/ Tenacity spanning/ Decades of denial/ Is simply why I’ll/ Be king undisputed/ Respected, saluted…”
Fabulous points awarded: 9
Ursula – “Poor Unfortunate Souls”
This song is so good, it almost makes us forget that Ursula is bad. That’s probably the point because, by the end of this track, Ariel willingly signs away her amazing singing voice. She starts out all honest, admitting that she deserves the “witch” title and that she’s changed her ways. Riiiight. Then when she brings it home with that raspy voice of hers, the naive Ariel didn’t stand a chance.
Favorite line: “Don’t underestimate the importance of body language!”
Fabulous points awarded: 10
Gaston and Le Fou – “Gaston”
Le Fou gets most of the accolade for this catchy ode to Gaston’s manliness. Initially intended to bolster Gaston’s spirits, the song turns into an all-around Gaston brag-fest, which might have been the leading cause in the evil plot that ensued. Though not as stylish or wicked as some others, “Gaston” gets high points for group effort and a nod to Gaston for rhyming “large” with “barge.”
Favorite line: “No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston!”
Fabulous points awarded: 6
Governor Ratcliffe – “Mine, Mine, Mine”
While some villains have some undeniable charisma that makes us like them no matter how wicked they are, Governor Ratcliffe admits himself that he has never been a “very popular” man. After his performance of “Mine, Mine, Mine,” we begin to see why. No one likes a case of the gimme’s, dude, and no one likes a bossy pants who barks orders and doesn’t pitch in to help with the work. You’re probably starting to get an idea of what we think of this song.
Favorite line: “Dig and dig and dig and diggety-dig!”
Fabulous points awarded: 4
Mother Gothel – “Mother Knows Best”
The creepiness of this song lies in the fact that the very untrustworthy Mother Gothel is positioning herself as a helpful figure to Rapunzel, using her jazzy little number to scare Rapunzel away from rebelling. More like “Fake Mother Does NOT Know Best!” But, we can’t fault her for her amazing singing voice and showmanship; we appreciate a catchy tune, even if it is in service of a wicked plot.
Fabulous points awarded: 6
Favorite line: “Skip the drama, stay with Mama!”
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How the hell can they leave out the absolute best villain song EVER?!